SolomonKado
This is taking too long…
- Jul 4, 2023
- 424
People wonder why others CTB, but they never look back to when the person tried to tell them what was wrong and all they cared about was how it was making them feel…I'm sure their tone would change if they knew what was going to happen in the end, but people don't think about things turning up how they do until they do…and it's too late then.
I've tried telling so many people what was wrong with me and it always turned out with them so worried about their own feelings that they couldn't look passed themselves to help me…. I can't be too amazed. I tried everything from therapy, rehab, psych meds, books, the internet and that didn't help my in the end either. I've found some solace here to take a little of the sting away though….until people can look passed themselves when someone is reaching out then it will keep happening.
I also hate when people take and turn your death as their fault. It keeps becoming about them. I was 6 when my dad died and I took it as my fault, but I was 6 and no one to tell me different…I'm talking to fucking adults…if any one of them tries to say they aren't then why the fuck did they try and say they were when everything was okay!?!? When my mom died in a car accident when I was 20 I was happy for her. Her life of torment was finally over and no matter where she was it was finally over.
It's not any of their fault though. My pain was there before alot of them came into or back into my life.
People are taught to make everything about themselves anymore. When I was growing up around my grandparents you were supposed to treat others better than yourself and be of "service." If they had already been teaching this to mentally stable people then it would be okay. What they did was create alot of people pleasers. Now they are making the same mistake thinking everyone is mentally stable and creating spoiled and selfish brats.
You can't teach everyone exactly the same. It's the same with mental health care…yeah I have agoraphobia and ptsd, but does that mean it will be the same treatment with someone who has agoraphobia and schizoid PD? Also take into consideration the schooling, mental ability, amount of "care", etc of the Dr's treating you. In 20 years I've had many therapists and psych drugs and they wanted to teach me skills. What I wanted was to go through my trauma and pain and work with them how to "fix" my thinking of it all. I know NOW that no kid should think their parent dying was their fault, but I've got around 30+ years thinking the opposite to work through. I was left alone for my whole life to figure it out as it got increasingly worse. Atleast I fucking tried to make sure I did my best while I was here…., but to CTB is selfish and they will see that and not everything I've already done….FUC I HATE THIS WORLD AND WHAT IT TEACHES PEOPLE!! I just wanted to leave it better for others while I was here…now look at me…
I feel my world is trying to empty itself out through all my venting to help force me to finally be at peace when I go….atleast that's what this feels like….for those who support me thank you for being here while I'm going through this…It's lonely out there without you
I've tried telling so many people what was wrong with me and it always turned out with them so worried about their own feelings that they couldn't look passed themselves to help me…. I can't be too amazed. I tried everything from therapy, rehab, psych meds, books, the internet and that didn't help my in the end either. I've found some solace here to take a little of the sting away though….until people can look passed themselves when someone is reaching out then it will keep happening.
I also hate when people take and turn your death as their fault. It keeps becoming about them. I was 6 when my dad died and I took it as my fault, but I was 6 and no one to tell me different…I'm talking to fucking adults…if any one of them tries to say they aren't then why the fuck did they try and say they were when everything was okay!?!? When my mom died in a car accident when I was 20 I was happy for her. Her life of torment was finally over and no matter where she was it was finally over.
It's not any of their fault though. My pain was there before alot of them came into or back into my life.
People are taught to make everything about themselves anymore. When I was growing up around my grandparents you were supposed to treat others better than yourself and be of "service." If they had already been teaching this to mentally stable people then it would be okay. What they did was create alot of people pleasers. Now they are making the same mistake thinking everyone is mentally stable and creating spoiled and selfish brats.
You can't teach everyone exactly the same. It's the same with mental health care…yeah I have agoraphobia and ptsd, but does that mean it will be the same treatment with someone who has agoraphobia and schizoid PD? Also take into consideration the schooling, mental ability, amount of "care", etc of the Dr's treating you. In 20 years I've had many therapists and psych drugs and they wanted to teach me skills. What I wanted was to go through my trauma and pain and work with them how to "fix" my thinking of it all. I know NOW that no kid should think their parent dying was their fault, but I've got around 30+ years thinking the opposite to work through. I was left alone for my whole life to figure it out as it got increasingly worse. Atleast I fucking tried to make sure I did my best while I was here…., but to CTB is selfish and they will see that and not everything I've already done….FUC I HATE THIS WORLD AND WHAT IT TEACHES PEOPLE!! I just wanted to leave it better for others while I was here…now look at me…
I feel my world is trying to empty itself out through all my venting to help force me to finally be at peace when I go….atleast that's what this feels like….for those who support me thank you for being here while I'm going through this…It's lonely out there without you
