Story Why does nobody love me???

[spectraltease]

Why does nobody love me?
My birth was just a failure, my parents didnt want me and they fucked my brain so much in my childhood. My whole life I was in custody of youth offices, all these pathetic years they raped my soul.
2 years ago I moved back to my mother, we all thought she had changed, but only then did the biggest trauma come, domestic violence in every sense. That was always when my mother was on pills, my mother and her husband fighted. I am a jacked guy and always fought back and was left alone. To experience all this was the trauma. I feel sorry for my dog who had to take all this years with these stupid fuckers.
Im really sorry for you.
I was never enough, I just wanted to help, really.
I was never loved, all these fucking years I was treated like shit from everyone. Used like a bedspread. I have always to care, but nobody cares about me and who I am.
Fuck, I just wanted somebody who likes me for who I am.
I moved 2 months ago in my own apartment and decided to do it and get beheaded by a train in jan.
Nobody gonna remember my name or who I was anyways. I will be forgotten forever.

 

[makethepainstop]

I will remember you, I would think of you. And I would wish that somehow I could have come and held you in a firm hug and asked you to share your hurt and pain with me. Your a dude, we're supposed to be oh so tough. Yet the strongest man among us needs and deserves love. I cannot fathom why God allows so many of us to suffer so terribly. Maybe we are all accursed of God? I just don't know. You know what I'd wish most? That we could have been friends.

 

[spectraltease]

I will remember you, I would think of you. And I would wish that somehow I could have come and held you in a firm hug and asked you to share your hurt and pain with me. Your a dude, we're supposed to be oh so tough. Yet the strongest man among us needs and deserves love. I cannot fathom why God allows so many of us to suffer so terribly. Maybe we are all accursed of God? I just don't know. You know what I'd wish most? That we could have been friends.

Thank you man. I would love to be your friend, we can be friends for my last weeks.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

I ask this question to myself often and fought with it for over 2 decades and the only reason that came with some point in time someone put a hex over my head. Went from shit friends, to none, A loving marriage to nothing....next is living then death. There is nothing else to look foward to. I don't bother anyone or cause trouble and can talk to anyone about anything. Most of the the time I am friendly (unless I am having a bad day...often). People are just too damn judgmental anymore and if one doesn't fit the criteria or can't be used for something then they are just left alone to rot. That's what I found..as once my use ran out...bye bye and ghosted. In my dreams I have the life I want. Friends, drinking having fun and in love with a strawberry blonde that has only eyes for me. It's a delusion and it could be something the brain/body wants, but can't have then I wake up to this piss poor reality. it's almost my existence is flip flopped. Living in my dreams, sleeping when awake. Gets overwhelmingly sad and lonely. I just shut down like depression and anxiety tends to do. Thank god alcohol exists for the those times when I just can't even deal sober.

 

[makethepainstop]

Thank you man. I would love to be your friend, we can be friends for my last weeks.

No problem bro, love to hear from you. My dad and mom got divorced when I was 4 years old. Never saw the guy again, he and my grand parents never even sent me a Christmas or birthday card. Some of us just don't get families that care.

 

[FuneralCry]

In this life many people can certainly be very cruel. It sounds like they are the problem. To me it can be very awful the way that people often behave, act and treat others. The existence of life really is so horrifying with all this endless suffering.

 

[SamTam33]

I tell myself that I have to be unloved and in pain so that it wouldn't be someone else.

It had to be somebody. And if not me, then who?

Believe it or not, it helps. Because I wouldn't wish my existence on anyone. So I was the "lucky" one.

Ugly, unloved, hyper sensitive. It had to be me so it wouldn't be them.

That's what I believe about all of us. We have to shoulder the biggest burdens. The deepest pains. We're the martyrs.

Living with the angst and agony so others don't have to.

But no one will ever thank us for our service. No will ever show gratitude.

No one will ever say, "I'm grateful that you're in pain so I don't have to be."

 

[makethepainstop]

Some of them don't even know how well off they are.