Why do you have suicidal thoughts?

[DUDale]

Inviting anyone and everyone here to share thoughts, feelings and emotions about what you are experiencing. Why do you think about suicide? Do you think you will? Are you conflicted? How and when do you think you will? Any thoughts or opinions are welcome.

 

[Salkak]

I am just too tired of depression. It seems like it would never get better. I have been like this for 10 years. I can't live like this for another 10 years. I am also unable to accomplish anything thing in life. Unemployed and depressed basically these are the primary reason I am suicidal. Wbu?

 

[Liebestod]

Because I just happened to be alive. Life is suffering.

 

[shampoo sniffer]

Because I'm terribly afraid of the future. Things are only going to go downhill from here. And they're already crappy.

 

[DUDale]

I have a long list of reasons which add up and compound. Old. Severely disabled. Losing my hearing and eyesight. In constant pain. Can no longer financially afford to live. Facing the prospect of absolute homelessness again. Have been denied even the most basic adequate health care in the united states. Losing mental sharpness and clarity. Lost all my teeth, making eating difficult and painful and at times nearly impossible. No help and support with transportation or anything else. My feet are paralyzed and severe nerve damage which is getting worse like everything else is. United States makes it harder and harder to survive. So I probably can't anyway. These are the most compelling reasons.

 

[mkmk_1]

I put all my eggs in one basket.

I don't want to go on without her.

"I'm sorry I hurt you". Bullshit. I lost to a fucking cocaine addict. How did I fucking lose to a drug addict, how man HOW.

 

[DUDale]

I hate the 21st century. I hate the technology. I hate the way everyone has become dependent on it. I hate cellphones.

 

[Captain Howdy]

For me, it's a drastic downfall in my financial situation powering the suicide engine. But there are a ton of other factors. If I solve one, I still the other ones remaining and I'm getting older. I just don't feel like fighting to "hang in there" to live in a constant state of panic and die in 15 years anyway. Really there would be no difference if I died 30 years ago, 30 years from now or in 10 minutes. It was all pointless.

 

[DUDale]

It doesn't get enough (if any) attention that in the united states, suicidal ideation is treated as it's just a mental health issue, when clearly it is not always or clearly far from the only issue. An SSRI is not always appropriate. I can make a compelling case that psychiatric meds are never appropriate and always harmful.

 

[Irisse]

It was a coping mechanism to get through abuse and traumatic events. But even when I got out of a toxic environment it just kind of stayed.

 

[DUDale]

When I committed suicide, I got treated as if it was a mental health issue ONLY! The reality is that there are many issues. None of which have anything to do with mental health.

For me, it's a drastic downfall in my financial situation powering the suicide engine. But there are a ton of other factors. If I solve one, I still the other ones remaining and I'm getting older. I just don't feel like fighting to "hang in there" to live in a constant state of panic and die in 15 years anyway. Really there would be no difference if I died 30 years ago, 30 years from now or in 10 minutes. It was all pointless.

I am feeling very similar to what you describe.

 

[certainty]

I think about suicide because I want answers to life I fear I'll never find. There's seemingly infinite ways to view the world, but that doesn't change the vast suffering that occurs, nor does it even give justification. No matter your viewpoints, you and you alone have to believe it. "No one can make you change" etc., it's all up to you, and there's no "break" until you die. Sometimes I think that it's not so much the act of dying I wish for, but rather the lack of any meaningful alternative that drives me to ideate. I guess it really does all come down to purpose lol.

 

[DUDale]

And an SSRI was supposed to make everything all better?!
Does anyone else here get the feeling that so-called mental health professionals don't even try to truly understand? Let's just give em all an SSRI and all will be well.

 

[slowdance]

I'm terrified of growing old. I don't want more disabilities. I want to choose when and how I die so it's not a surprise and I can avoid something drawn out. I don't have hope for things to get better in the long run. Every time things change for the better, they go back to changing for the worst. Sorry MLK, but the arc of the moral universe doesn't bend towards anything. Things just happen and they keep happening until you die. I'd like to die sooner rather than later.

 

[dead dav]

Depression anxiety and possible OCD and autism together with painful arthritis I constantly think about ending my life

 

[DUDale]

Thanks everyone for all the very valid responses. A lot of them, as in my case, have nothing to do with mental health. Why then in the united states is suicide treated as if it's a mental health issue ONLY?! Why then, when I committed suicide, was I locked in a mental health facility where everything about the place was bad for my mental health?

 

[FuneralCry]

Because all I want is peace from the futile and torturous burden of existence, to me existence is the most terrible, dreadful abomination that just causes harm and suffering and I'll just always prefer to not exist than suffer so unnecessarily with no limit as to how much one can be tortured.

I find it so terrifying how a human can exist for decades longer just to die in agony from old age, for me non-existence is all that's positive, existence to me just feels like a mistake and I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was imposed causing and bringing so much suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for, all I want is to be gone.

 

[hmnow]

All I know is that I have had them since being a teenager

It comes in waves where I plan for it, practise and just about do it. At other times I just don't even think about it

But I expect a wave will soon take me - and it will be over

 

[Off_Switch]

Because the world is such a Utopia and the euphoria is suffocating. I can't stand it anymore.