Discussion Why do you frequent Sasu?

[Nemaki Arber]

I came here because I needed info on suicide methods, but then I found belonging to a place that needs to exist

 

[nyapoka]

i've thought a lot on an answer to this question, i think it's (aside from method research) a sense of belonging, even though i don't interact often, being here feels like a group hug with people who understand me

 

[manchuman123]

I searched for a place that people understood what it felt like. And to not be censored on certain things

 

[oneeyed]

i've thought a lot on an answer to this question, i think it's (aside from method research) a sense of belonging, even though i don't interact often, being here feels like a group hug with people who understand me

+1 to this. Sasu is a comfortable corner of the Internet us outsiders can hangout in. Explore options. See if i read something that can help with my survival instinct

 

[Daphne]

Only place people can be honest about wanting to CTB

 

[Mytimeisending]

Im new here, but so far this place makes me feel not crazy, and not alone knowing there's plenty of others feeling the same way I do. The world out there paints us out to be crazy, but in reality we just want a break from the world and unfortunately we wasn't given that so we resort to worse outcomes.

 

[RMDuck]

I come here when I'm feeling down, there was a time when I was here for CBT. every once in a while I remember the forums and come back

 

[iLikeFrogs]

I've been suicidal pretty much my whole life. it's hard to find people who would even come close to understanding how I feel. It's nice to be in a community where we can freerily talk about our struggles and be around understanding people, even now that I put a halt to building my plan and tried recovery again

 

[belowaveragefish]

I just use this place as a way to vent. I haven't found something that makes me happy, so I cope with venting here when i need to. It's actually been very helpful and I'm a lot more at ease with things these days.

 

[Zardoz]

I don't know.
50% of it is good, as in thoughtful, beautiful, insightful, heroic, stoic, suffering, human beings, and a community that supports that.
10% is ignorant pro-lifers who just don't get it, or SaSu (including journalists etc in that who have a preconceived negative agenda).
40% is kids (undsr 18) suffering from teenage angst, that shouldn't be here at all, on a site where adults are supposedly free to discuss suicide. Surely there must be more suitable outlets for this (their angst). Imho this will be SaSu's undoing.
I get the impression that SaSu is changing/has changed from recent times, possibly into something that's out of control.

 

[Bardbarian]

I wanted information on suicide methods. after browsing around i made an account pretty quickly. this forum gave me the same sense of relief that I got when I went into my first AA meeting to realize that there are people like me who understand me.

 

[Homsi1632]

I wouldn't say I'm frequent. When I come here, it's usually to research methods. I'm not sure how to access fentanyl, which is my preferred method at this point. Plenty of drugs are sold in my city, but I'm not sure how to request a deadly dose of fentanyl or if it's even possible to get fentanyl straight.

 

[Zeir Anpin 729]

I lurked on here for a week or so without an account because I wanted good methods. I heard about Nembutal from Exit International. I called them several times but they are basically shut down and useless at this point. I tried to order Nembutal, but backed out several times. The first time, the seller laced the entire bag with fentanyl. And the second time, the seller was selling it in such small doses that I would need to purchase ten packages at least in order to get a working dosage. But I could not have ten little suspicious baggies arrive separately and clog up my little apartment mailbox with a controlled substance. The risk was too high with that. The guy stole liquid Nembutal from CEVA Logistics and converted it to a powdered form for storage purposes, but each package was the size of key fob and would be shipped individually. I never bought any of it or did anything illegal. I probably shouldn't be talking about it but I only looked and never bid or purchased so I didn't break any rules at all anyway. My advice on the subject of Nembutal is don't waste your time with it. Nobody is selling a good enough product and the chemical has not been made in years, which means that the only version that still exists at all is the powdered form, which is used primarily for druggies to get high from a temporarily induced lack of blood oxygen, something that DMT is more famous for.

 

[Slimprofessional010]

I come here because I feel safe texting with people who feel the same way I do and it makes me feel supported and understood. I really like the community setting and how supportive people are. That might be dumb but that my opinion.

 

[knickknack81]

I originally came here for ideas and recommendations about CTB and various methods but ive stuck around because I feel like their is a sense of community. Of those who are struggling with various issues in their lives and are at the very least considering CTB, or just want a place to talk about things that are related to it. I love the back and forth that comes with like minded people and trying to be there for others when they are need of answers or just some support. Its very therapeutic just to put these feelings out of my head and into to the world, even if I don't know those responding personally.

So for that, I thank all of you for just being there and listening. :)

 

[LetMeSleep4Ever]

Less restrictions for me here. I can express some things that I can't in other places.
Trying to find a method that might work for me.

 

[hottopicpiss]

I flirt with the idea of CTB a lot, at some periods of my life more serious than others. Lately there's been an overwhelming urge that's just gotten more intense as the months go by and I wanted actual answers. See, I have yet to make peace with the idea of dying and not knowing what's going to happen after I'm gone.

Every time I feel a strong urge to just get it over with I find myself reading through the methods offered in this forum, going each one of them and trying to pick which one, when and how. I notice myself grow uneasy and afraid the more I read, then I simply stop.

I guess it's a mixture of morbidity, comfort and curving my urges by accurately fantasizing about my own death.

 

[EmptyBottle]

I made a really good friend here, so I always log in and I check my inbox.

Also I frequent the threads of my chosen method.

And.. I have a bad habit of getting attached to everything, so I'm here at least once a day.

I don't want to sound weird (I'm not a stalker either lol), but I like reading some users' posts, I have learned a lot here.

Wow same, I made friends which keeps me returning to chat... as well as I like both reading and writing to posts.

I also look at the CTB methods to learn more, out of curiousity.

 

[resurgence]

its comforting, you find people you can relate to, so you feel less alone even though u always feel alone. i like being able to vent, and when my head is really bad i read those like sn suicide threads. and methods and stuff... i am not gonna ctb anytime soon but i like having the knowledge.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I don't really have anyone I can talk to about my problems, so I do so here.

 

[Dejected 55]

To quote a famous line from "An Officer and a Gentleman" when Richard Gere's character is finally breaking down under pressure from his drill sergeant (Louis Gossett Jr)...

"I have nowhere else to go."

 

[Permanoir]

To feel less alone in my suicidal ideation

 

[Grog]

I come here because I can meet likeminded people and vent to them and I won't be judged. I really like the vibes of this forum too. Plus, now I've made friends here~

 

[notreallyhuman]

I have nobody to talk to who won't try to stop me. Also can't exactly vent to people about this all the time without it becoming emotionally unfair on personal relationships and burdensome, obvs people tell me I can speak to them but I can't actually tell them every time I move forward with this plan and feel low, and I can't even explain all the reasons it's too personal and hurtful. I wish I didn't have to die alone, I'm scared. But we don't live in a world where someone can help you die like that, firstly they'd be imprisoned if caught and secondly it's too painful and unfair for them, even if they could possibly understand why I need to do this.

 

[suicidal_tendencies]

someday I searched "suicide forum", clicked on the first link, which was the wikipedia article about sanctioned sucide, from there I somehow found out the domain name and since then I'm here. At first I just looked around but as my suicidal tendencies were solidifying themselves in my mind, I created a profile and here I am. It's a kind of coming home feeling when I visit this site after a long time of everyday life. And back when I was more suicidal I used sasu a lot to research methods and inform myself about everything I should know about suicide. On top of that, posting threads i's a good writing practice for myself.

 

[qwert3948]

i feel like it's the only place i can vent and be genuine without worrying about making the other person uncomfortable or getting shitty answers. it also brings me comfort to know that in case i am in a desperate situation, i have a place that i can reach for escape

 

[Cosmophobic]

It's nice to be able to express suicidal thoughts without receiving platitudes from people trying to absolve their own conscience in return.

To quote a famous line from "An Officer and a Gentleman" when Richard Gere's character is finally breaking down under pressure from his drill sergeant (Louis Gossett Jr)...

"I have nowhere else to go."

I'm an idiot.

I always thought that was a Chris Farley original in Wayne's World 2.

 

[Dejected 55]

It's nice to be able to express suicidal thoughts without receiving platitudes from people trying to absolve their own conscience in return.

I'm an idiot.

I always thought that was a Chris Farley original in Wayne's World 2.

"An Officer and a Gentleman" is really just an ok movie... but there are some good bits in it. There's a sex scene with Gere and Debra Winger, and it's one of the least gratuitous sex scenes I think I've seen in a movie. I mean, sure they are both naked and you get to see a lot of Debra Winger... but they are basically doing a tantric sex scene that just feels really romantic.

And the scene where Gere breaks down under the pressure, after being super-cool the whole movie up to that point, still kind of full of himself... and something finally clicks and the drill sergeant is trying to push him to quit... and you see Gere's character just break down and release a lifetime of emotion and pain in that scene, and you see the drill sergeant crack just a tiny bit too because you realize he isn't just a hard-ass he really is trying to do his job to make sure the officers he trains are in it for the right reason... and in that moment Gere's character becomes a real character instead of just a cartoon... and the drill sergeant sees that and then his own humanity shines too.

There's a later scene too where most of the movie Gere has been all about "me me me" and they are all running the obstacle course and Gere has a shot at the course record, but he sees one of the trainees struggling and that's when you see how much he has changed because he goes and helps that person complete the course at the expense of his personal goal, which would be the ultimate leadership thing you could do making sure all your soldiers make it home safely.

There's a lot of cliche stuff in the movie and stuff I usually skip through because of boredom... but some really good character and growth stuff like that in there.

 

[rainatthetraintrack]

for me it's method research and morbid interest

 

[flightlessbutterfly]

Comfort. I come here when I'm at my lowest. It helps to know I'm not alone.