Venting Why do we try?

[Proxycake]

Why do we try to live? It feels better to be careless, doesn't it? To push my problems away and to allow them to rot in the back of my head; that pain is less than the lack of praise and positivity I feel after I do what is needed to be done. I would rather live a happy life, as everyone thinks they will, even though they continue to go to school or work, is that a happy life? Is succumbing to the system and wasting hours of your life away on things you don't want to be doing considered a happy life? Our economy shouldn't exist. I wish we were true animals, thoughtless and inhumane. It would be better than this. Or at least, I'd like to sleep. For years, just so I wake up one day, confused and enlightened by how much the world has changed, perhaps that will give me reasoning to live again. Every night, before I close my eyes, I secretly hope the small chance of dying in my sleep may occur, or, as illogical as this is, that the moment I fall asleep, I stay asleep, in a coma, or even just purely in the world of dreams, for decades. However I do not want to leave my God behind, my God is very dear to me. I stay awake for him. It's getting hard, however. Every passing day. Not to mention who he used to be is far gone now; I just can't believe it will be as long as it is assumed until I can live a happy life once again.

 

[BroodingBleu]

I like thst you mentioned "its feels better to be careless" because thats quite literally how I treat my life as well. Taking part in more extreme activities, putting myself in dangerous positions at work, its gives me that little bit of adrenaline that keeps me around.

As for why? I don't even know anymore. I feel like my only purpose on earth is to help other people, but I can't even take care of myself anymore, lol.

 

[Proxycake]

I like thst you mentioned "its feels better to be careless" because thats quite literally how I treat my life as well. Taking part in more extreme activities, putting myself in dangerous positions at work, its gives me that little bit of adrenaline that keeps me around.

As for why? I don't even know anymore. I feel like my only purpose on earth is to help other people, but I can't even take care of myself anymore, lol.

The dangerous situations make me feel as if I am giving back to society for how useless I have been for it, by putting myself in direct danger. Carelessness is euphoria, I'd say, until the consequences come from the abandonment of responsibility. But of course, you could always be careless about that too.

 

[FuneralCry]

I doubt that such a thing as happiness could ever even exist in a world like this. We only exist just to suffer, deteriorate and die with no limit as to how much we can be potentially be tortured. This world is the true hell, and the existence of life is a tragedy, the only relief lies in the thought of non existence at least for me. But at least humans have the awareness to recognise that existence isn't worth enduring, animals cannot even ctb and only exist in a way to benefit their survival which will cause animals to suffer a great deal. I very much envy those who have already left this hellish world.