Why do people want responsibilities?

[Red Moon]

I have no desire to start a family or even be working, I just don't pass society and my mum agreed with me and said "it's not my fault that I have these conditions"

I no longer give damn what people thinks of me.

 

[sserafim]

I have no desire to start a family or even be working, I just don't pass society and my mum agreed with me and said "it's not my fault that I have these conditions"

I no longer give damn what people thinks of me.

Me neither. I also have no desire to start a family or even be working. I don't fit into society either, but my mom is trying to force me to participate in society. She wants me to be a productive, well-adjusted member of society. She sees high-achieving people with Asperger's/autism and she says "those people are working, why can't you?" She says that people go up and to high places while water goes down. She still holds me to neurotypical standards even though I literally have autism, even though it's the "high-functioning" kind

I don't get it either since I don't desire to "play the game," so to speak.

Me neither. I don't see the point of playing the game. It's all meaningless in the end anyways. Your achievements won't matter in death; you can't take them with you. Everything that you worked for will be gone and have disappeared. You struggle so much, yet you don't get a reward

 

[thenamingofcats]

Me neither. I also have no desire to start a family or even be working. I don't fit into society either, but my mom is trying to force me to participate in society. She wants me to be a productive, well-adjusted member of society. She sees high-achieving people with Asperger's/autism and she says "those people are working, why can't you?" She says that people go to high places and water trickles down. She still holds me to neurotypical standards even though I literally have autism, even though it's the "high-functioning" kind

I think the ND wiring is responsible for a lot of our questions about why people do what they do and want what they want. I'm not sure that neurotypical would ask themselves why they want these things, more like why wouldn't they. It's like a natural impulse to them.

 

[marsupial]

Apart from the responsibilities that are necessary for them to survive and function in society, it gives them a sense of fulfillment and meaning.
I don't get it either since I don't desire to "play the game," so to speak.

This is exactly it. Responsibilities are a distraction, and the worth society attaches to them make you feel good/achieved when you complete them - its just a big game.

 

[Pluto]

 

[sserafim]

If only I could've been Pusheen lol

 

[Red Moon]

Me neither. I also have no desire to start a family or even be working. I don't fit into society either, but my mom is trying to force me to participate in society. She wants me to be a productive, well-adjusted member of society. She sees high-achieving people with Asperger's/autism and she says "those people are working, why can't you?" She says that people go up and to high places while water goes down. She still holds me to neurotypical standards even though I literally have autism, even though it's the "high-functioning" kind

Me neither. I don't see the point of playing the game. It's all meaningless in the end anyways. Your achievements won't matter in death; you can't take them with you. Everything that you worked for will be gone and have disappeared. You struggle so much, yet you don't get a reward

Maybe your mum isn't understanding enough? I don't know but my mum just accepts that I'm autistic/disabled and just leaves me in peace and being a productive, well adjusted member of society isn't feasible for most autistics, I don't think many can achieve that.

 

[sserafim]

Maybe your mum isn't understanding enough? I don't know but my mum just accepts that I'm autistic/disabled and just leaves me in peace and being a productive, well adjusted member of society isn't feasible for most autistics, I don't think many can achieve that.

Yeah, I think so. Unfortunately, her culture just isn't understanding of neurodivergences in general. It's also an invisible disability and she says that I'm physically fine and healthy, so I should be able to work. I'm clinically diagnosed with Asperger's aka autism level 1, ADHD and social anxiety though, and she knows this

 

[momento.mori]

I'm personally not suicidal 24/7 and sometimes I actually want to live ans enjoy this life. I don't want to be stuck her by myself and lonely..like I currently am. It's a saying something like, those who have fun in life time goes by fast..those who hate life times goes by slow and they are always aware of the time. Something like that. It's just nice to feel normal..sometimes.

 

[Red Moon]

Yeah, I think so. Unfortunately, her culture just isn't understanding of neurodivergences in general. It's also an invisible disability and she says that I'm physically fine and healthy, so I should be able to work. I'm clinically diagnosed with Asperger's aka autism level 1, ADHD and social anxiety though, and she knows this

That's bad then and the invisibility of it is a problem yeah. I don't know what my autism is it's either level 1 or 2.

 

[ham and potatoes]

I see people talk about wanting children, and I don't understand. Why would you *want* to take on responsibilities? I don't want any at all. For me, the less responsibilities, the better. I don't want to be responsible for anything or anyone

i dont get it either. i want as few responsibilities and commitments as possible.

 

[1MiserableGuy]

Keeps people out of crime and out of depression

 

[sserafim]

Keeps people out of crime and out of depression

Don't laws and consequences keep people out of crime?

 

[1MiserableGuy]

Don't laws and consequences keep people out of crime?

No. If they did, police and auditors wouldn't have entire careers based on cracking down on people whom laws and consequences fail to keep out of crime

 

[untothedepths]

I'd love to do something good for the world and be useful. Unfortunately that is not my story to give this planet. Not sure what is, aside from "Don't be me".

 

[sserafim]

I'd love to do something good for the world and be useful. Unfortunately that is not my story to give this planet. Not sure what is, aside from "Don't be me".

Why do you want to be useful?

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sadly, I'm not sure responsibility is always the first thing people properly consider when they want children. I wonder if it's fundamentally an urge to have them. I think some don't entirely realise how much a child will change their life.

The weird thing I find is when parents will try to get you to feel sorry for them. How long they went through labour. How many jobs they had to work, how they nursed you through all your childhood illnesses- when you wouldn't quit crying. Like- didn't you realise babies cry, children are expensive and labour would be painful? What did you think it would be like?

Plenty of people don't actually entirely want the responsibilities they have either. It's just that they are forced on them. Some parents won't just threaten to cut their children off- they'll do it. We don't all get the option to be NEET's. For plenty of people, it's: contribute to society to earn money or, go homeless.

When you don't get the choice, you have to work- likelihood is, you'll try to find a job you at least find fulfilling- a career. Or, you'll focus on the money and what nice things you want to spend it on. I don't think it's necessarily that people actually want loads of responsibility. More that they feel like they don't have a choice.

Related to that- some of us are less immune to the guilt trip we'd endure if we didn't comply. The amount of shit/ diapproval I'd get from my parents and family if I didn't work makes me think work is actually the easier option!

 

[sserafim]

Sadly, I'm not sure responsibility is always the first thing people properly consider when they want children. I wonder if it's fundamentally an urge to have them. I think some don't entirely realise how much a child will change their life.

The weird thing I find is when parents will try to get you to feel sorry for them. How long they went through labour. How many jobs they had to work, how they nursed you through all your childhood illnesses- when you wouldn't quit crying. Like- didn't you realise babies cry, children are expensive and labour would be painful? What did you think it would be like?

Plenty of people don't actually entirely want the responsibilities they have either. It's just that they are forced on them. Some parents won't just threaten to cut their children off- they'll do it. We don't all get the option to be NEET's. For plenty of people, it's: contribute to society to earn money or, go homeless.

When you don't get the choice, you have to work- likelihood is, you'll try to find a job you at least find fulfilling- a career. Or, you'll focus on the money and what nice things you want to spend it on. I don't think it's necessarily that people actually want loads of responsibility. More that they feel like they don't have a choice.

Related to that- some of us are less immune to the guilt trip we'd endure if we didn't comply. The amount of shit/ diapproval I'd get from my parents and family if I didn't work makes me think work is actually the easier option!

Why do they have children just to cut them off?

 

[4am]

true. i already have enough responsibilities from just being born into society, why would i want more

 

[Forever Sleep]

Why do they have children just to cut them off?

They likely assume their children will be replicas of them I suppose. If they took on responsibilities happily or- at least the rest of their lives were reasonable enough to soften their responsibilities, they probably assume their children's lives will go the same way.

In which case- the child would naturally progress in to adulthood, without even really questioning why they now needed to take on responsibilities. I don't actually remember anyone when I was 18 that rebelled against that. We all just complied!

Culture plays a big part too. Some people seem to deliberately have children as an additional labour force for the family! Or, it looks that way to me. I know a few families where the older siblings effectively become parents for their younger siblings. I guess they just accept it in many cases because they're too young to question and they may feel genuinely protective towards their younger family members.

That I suppose is a genuine reason. The instinct to protect and provide for your kin. Some people are eager to take that on because maybe they like to feel needed and relied upon.

But no- I doubt many parents have children with the intention of having to cut them off. They likely assume their child will grow up compliant- like they did. Or- if they are already reliant on the state, they may not have a problem with the idea that their children will be too. They may have enough confidence that they will actually be taken care of.

 

[sserafim]

true. i already have enough responsibilities from just being born into society, why would i want more

Literally

 

[cosmic-freedom]

Why do they have children just to cut them off?

Most people only have children out of peer pressure and to please others.People from poorer parts have children to show that they are fertile(yeah...) because fertility is...cool like buying a Supra,even if you can't afford it or care for it.Fertility=Supra in their eyes.