Why do people view death as something bad?

[Godofdeathftw]

We're all going to die one day, so why does it matter how soon we die? Besides, it's not like being dead is painful - it's being ALIVE that is the source of all misery. If every conscious being was dead, there would be no more misery, ever. And, since there wouldn't be anyone to experience the lack of pleasure, it wouldn't matter! A empty room with no one isn't sad; a room with a miserable person in it is.

 

[Alchemist]

Two reasons mostly. First, there's the biological one; survival instinct is a bitch and our brains are hardwire to live by instinct despite of what reason might say. The second is society. Society indoctrinates all the time that life is something wonderful and sacred despite what reality shows and that's why they will go to any lenght to keep someone from dying despite logic and/or their desires.

 

[Mr2005]

Inability to separate death from dying. One is peace the other is often painful and fueled by violence and hatred. So the idea it can ever be compassionate is hard for people to get their head around

 

[Godofdeathftw]

Two reasons mostly. First, there's the biological one; survival instinct is a bitch and our brains are hardwire to live by instinct despite of what reason might say. The second is society. Society indoctrinates all the time that life is something wonderful and sacred despite what reality shows and that's why they will go to any lenght to keep someone from dying despite logic and/or their desires.

Very well said. I feel like we as a society have everything so backwards, being focused on the longevity of life rather than the quality. I personally believe that without society most everyone would come to the conclusions I wrote about. Additionally, I believe that's the reason religion developed - to scare people into continuing life, and with a focus on longevity.

 

[HGL91]

People see it as bad because they think about how another person's dying or death will affect THEM.

My cousin had thyroid cancer AND Lyme disease by the time she was 33, and wanted to commit suicide, but her parents and siblings said she couldn't because she has 3 young boys to take care of. And if she isn't there to care for them, her ex-husband will be a single father and they'll have to step up to care for them while he's at work.

 

[Godofdeathftw]

People see it as bad because they think about how another person's dying or death will affect THEM.

My cousin had thyroid cancer AND Lyme disease by the time she was 33, and wanted to commit suicide, but her parents and siblings said she couldn't because she has 3 young boys to take care of. And if she isn't there to care for them, her ex-husband will be a single father and they'll have to step up to care for them while he's at work.

Very understandable, but in the case of someone who doesn't have children, I believe they should have the right to decide whether or not they continue existing. No one asked to be born, and if you haven't put other children in this earth, I don't believe you have any responsibility to not ctb

 

[HGL91]

Very understandable, but in the case of someone who doesn't have children, I believe they should have the right to decide whether or not they continue existing. No one asked to be born, and if you haven't put other children in this earth, I don't believe you have any responsibility to not ctb

Yeah. But of course if someone has parents that are alive, they may argue that the child has a responsibility to care for them during old age.

 

[Mr2005]

^
Fuck that

 

[HGL91]

^
Fuck that

You mean you don't want to change adult diapers, spoon feed them, shower them while they sit in a chair and have them punch you in the face when you try to change their clothes because they don't know who you are since they have dementia? Pshhhh. You're no fun.

Yeah. I did all this working in a Nursing Home and it was super depressing. Even if I wasn't suicidal now, I'd never want to get old.

And even though my mom is 64 and is in great shape, does CrossFit, and travels a lot, I still want to CTB soon so she can make alternate plans to me caring for her. Both of us caring for my dying 91-yr-old grandmother in 2015 was hard enough!

 

[Mr2005]

These people failed me when I needed them. They don't even factor into my decision. What they want is irrelevant

 

[HGL91]

These people failed me when I needed them. They don't even factor into my decision. What they want is irrelevant

How'd they fail you? (If you're comfortable with answering)

 

[Mr2005]

I'm not really. Only because the logical conclusion you and I would both draw is it's my own stupid fault for trusting them.

 

[Pistolero114]

Fear of the unknown.

 

[HGL91]

I'm not really. Only because the logical conclusion you and I would both draw is it's my own stupid fault for trusting them.

I dunno. I think if there's anyone in this world we should be able to trust, it should be parents since they're scientifically supposed to care most for their flesh and blood.

 

[Pistolero114]

I dunno. I think if there's anyone in this world we should be able to trust, it should be parents since they're scientifically supposed to care most for their flesh and blood.

However; there are documented cases of some species that eat their young. Brings me back to a mantra of trust no one.

 

[HGL91]

However; there are documented cases of some species that eat their young. Brings me back to a mantra of trust no one.

Yeah, that's true. A lot of animals will eat their young when they're stressed. I definitely shouldn't have children with that logic, because I'm always stressed lol

 

[Antinous]

Many people have a very distorted world view because they steep themselves in (at least) two cognitive traps:
(1) wishful thinking: an invisible man in the sky cares about me;
(2) motivated reasoning: doubting what I don't like, and clinging to my invisible man, regardless of cognitive dissonance.

It's healthier (in my view) to adapt to the universe as it is, rather than as I would like it to be.

"Every human is a thing of great significance in a restricted but important sense. On a cosmic scale, our physical presence is of no consequence. We are temporary assemblies of ten billion billion billion atoms, and in a century or less they will all be returned for recycling. But for the briefest of moments, these atoms are able to contemplate themselves. They will spend an eternity in darkness when we are gone. Our purpose should be to extend their moment in the light as best we can." Brian Cox, How to Build a Universe

Birth is a natural and amazing milestone following the coming together of DNA from a mom and a dad; it is the start of a life that will be created by the person who lives it: the ultimate creative act.

There is only one god. It is our self. We are the god of our lives; we create our lives by the choices we make as we go along.

"The metaphorical language of mythology is not denotative of actual worlds or gods, but rather connotative levels and entities within the person touched by them. Metaphors only seem to describe the outer world of time and place. Their real universe is the spiritual realm of the inner life. The Kingdom of God is within you." Joseph Campbell, Thou Art That

Death is a natural and amazing conclusion in that creative act. Each human life is but a momentary spark in the universe's long journey from the first expansion of space-time toward a steady increase of entropy, until, ultimately, the universe has become dark, cold and silent. Through death, we join the stars that burn out, the black holes that evaporate, the earth when it is engulfed by the red giant sun, and the human species that has gone extinct,

And honey, if you only get to be a momentary spark in the calendar of the universe, you may as well be as fabulous as you can be!

 

[Pistolero114]

Yeah, that's true. A lot of animals will eat their young when they're stressed. I definitely shouldn't have children with that logic, because I'm always stressed lol

I cannot find fault or argument with your logic.

Many people have a very distorted world view because they steep themselves in (at least) two cognitive traps:
(1) wishful thinking: an invisible man in the sky cares about me;
(2) motivated reasoning: doubting what I don't like, and clinging to my invisible man, regardless of cognitive dissonance.

It's healthier (in my view) to adapt to the universe as it is, rather than as I would like it to be.

"Every human is a thing of great significance in a restricted but important sense. On a cosmic scale, our physical presence is of no consequence. We are temporary assemblies of ten billion billion billion atoms, and in a century or less they will all be returned for recycling. But for the briefest of moments, these atoms are able to contemplate themselves. They will spend an eternity in darkness when we are gone. Our purpose should be to extend their moment in the light as best we can." Brian Cox, How to Build a Universe

Birth is a natural and amazing milestone following the coming together of DNA from a mom and a dad; it is the start of a life that will be created by the person who lives it: the ultimate creative act.

There is only one god. It is our self. We are the god of our lives; we create our lives by the choices we make as we go along.

"The metaphorical language of mythology is not denotative of actual worlds or gods, but rather connotative levels and entities within the person touched by them. Metaphors only seem to describe the outer world of time and place. Their real universe is the spiritual realm of the inner life. The Kingdom of God is within you." Joseph Campbell, Thou Art That

Death is a natural and amazing conclusion in that creative act. Each human life is but a momentary spark in the universe's long journey from the first expansion of space-time toward a steady increase of entropy, until, ultimately, the universe has become dark, cold and silent. Through death, we join the stars that burn out, the black holes that evaporate, the earth when it is engulfed by the red giant sun, and the human species that has gone extinct,

And honey, if you only get to be a momentary spark in the calendar of the universe, you may as well be as fabulous as you can be!

Cognitive dissonance. A phrase I have rarely used since last of my college degrees. It would appear that you're a well educated individual.

 

[wanttodie]

agree We're all going to die one day, so why does it matter how soon we die? yes lets us die when we want to

 

[Soul]

How'd they fail you? (If you're comfortable with answering)

Mine plopped me out and then offed themselves - one *possibly* by accident (fancypants F86 incident), the other on purpose. I wish they *had* eaten me

 

[HGL91]

Mine plopped me out and then offed themselves - one *possibly* by accident (fancypants F86 incident), the other on purpose. I wish they *had* eaten me

That's awful! Who raised you??

 

[Soul]

That's awful! Who raised you??

Abusive alcoholics.
That's so ... lifelike, isn't it?!

 

[Ko9]

Death is meaningless when every choice is made for you by the government and coca-cola or whatever. We are all going to die anyway, and I do not understand why anyone would like me to be hanging on while suffering if I am nothing anyway if I am dead.

 

[Godofdeathftw]

Yeah. But of course if someone has parents that are alive, they may argue that the child has a responsibility to care for them during old age.

They forced me here for their own selfish needs, so I should care for them? Damn that's fucked

 

[Pistolero114]

Yeah, that's true. A lot of animals will eat their young when they're stressed. I definitely shouldn't have children with that logic, because I'm always stressed lol

I have five. They're all still alive.

 

[Lifetimepunishment]

How to conquer the fear of unknown

 

[Black_Knight]

I think that in addition to basically what everyone else has said, it's a result of a competitive and acquisitive culture, which has its roots in a planet whose lifeforms evolved in a very competitive way. Death is seen as a loss, both in terms of what one possesses and also in the sense that one is failing to achieve a goal, or to best an opponent (something abstract like "the world", or other forces of nature ("beating cancer"), although sometimes actual entities). This is why some people are obsessed with lineage. You can't prevent dying, but if you pass down what you have to someone who's similar enough to you either genetically, culturally or professionally or whatever, some of that loss is mitigated. Death is essentially an enemy to self-actualization, something that I believe all beings strive for whether consciously or unconsciously, until death becomes an integral part of that self-actualization (someone who dies peacefully after a life well lived may see their final rest as a form of self-actualization, for example, and denial of that peaceful death becomes a new enemy to self-actualization). A woman who's on the cusp of realizing a major scientific discovery probably doesn't want to die in the interim between being on that cusp and passing it, and for death to befall her in the meantime is tragic because it prevents goal realization. The problem is that people invent these fictional goals for others and then contextualize their willful deaths using these inventions as a framework (he wanted to be a fireman, but depression (perceived as the enemy, alienated from the rest of the man in question's psyche, so there's a competitive element to this example) claimed his life before he could- when he very well may have never been all that passionate about fighting fires to begin with).

Basically death is often a wrench thrown into an idealized machine, except when someone is suicidal (and not pathologically so, although determining whether or not suicidality is pathological is a sticky subject). Sometimes it's hard for people to understand that we all have different blueprints for these machines floating around in our heads and they're different from what is outwardly perceived. The question is whether or not there's anything meaningful to win, when you view life from a competitive lens.

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

I would say why people view death as a bad thing because naturally if people who are still enjoying life don't want to die soon, but I considered death natural more or less now mind you I'm not interested in dying right now if I have control over the situation.

 

[Partial-Elf]

I think that in addition to basically what everyone else has said, it's a result of a competitive and acquisitive culture, which has its roots in a planet whose lifeforms evolved in a very competitive way. Death is seen as a loss, both in terms of what one possesses and also in the sense that one is failing to achieve a goal, or to best an opponent (something abstract like "the world", or other forces of nature ("beating cancer"), although sometimes actual entities). This is why some people are obsessed with lineage. You can't prevent dying, but if you pass down what you have to someone who's similar enough to you either genetically, culturally or professionally or whatever, some of that loss is mitigated. Death is essentially an enemy to self-actualization, something that I believe all beings strive for whether consciously or unconsciously, until death becomes an integral part of that self-actualization (someone who dies peacefully after a life well lived may see their final rest as a form of self-actualization, for example, and denial of that peaceful death becomes a new enemy to self-actualization). A woman who's on the cusp of realizing a major scientific discovery probably doesn't want to die in the interim between being on that cusp and passing it, and for death to befall her in the meantime is tragic because it prevents goal realization. The problem is that people invent these fictional goals for others and then contextualize their willful deaths using these inventions as a framework (he wanted to be a fireman, but depression (perceived as the enemy, alienated from the rest of the man in question's psyche, so there's a competitive element to this example) claimed his life before he could- when he very well may have never been all that passionate about fighting fires to begin with).

Basically death is often a wrench thrown into an idealized machine, except when someone is suicidal (and not pathologically so, although determining whether or not suicidality is pathological is a sticky subject). Sometimes it's hard for people to understand that we all have different blueprints for these machines floating around in our heads and they're different from what is outwardly perceived. The question is whether or not there's anything meaningful to win, when you view life from a competitive lens.

This was a great post to read, thanks for writing it out. I especially love the part about how "death is a wrench thrown into an idealized machine." I think a big part of the reason I'm suicidal is that I don't buy into the idealization. I also feel like none of the pre-constructed goals that have been set before me are even vaguely appealing: marriage, kids, mortgage, and dogs are not motivating for me. I have carved out space for things I do find rewarding but they aren't anywhere near enough to justify continuing on.

At the core, it feels like I'm being forced to a play a very intense and long game that I have no interest in playing... but there's so much guilt around standing up and leaving the table. For me, suicide is self actualization and the truest expression of what I want and feel.

 

[ish]

Everyone is afraid of the unknown (death and what after), they know life.