• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
Lxions

Lxions

they/he
Apr 6, 2023
87
My mother has a deep hatred and resentment for me.
She just threatened to beat me to death.

My entire life my mother has hated my guts. She's a very misogynistic woman with extreme jealousy issues. She has bipolar depression, which she passed down to me. It has been a constant battle with my mother my entire life, nothing has ever been good enough for her. From the way I look, my hair, my voice, even the way I stand. As a person, I've never reached her expectations.
It got especially bad once my mental issues started surfacing. I went from the "golden child" to the embarrassment, she didn't want anyone to even look at me. She cut off "nosy" family members from my father's side because she doesn't want people seeing the stuff she does behind closed doors. She's a hateful person and respects nobody.
I have been beat, ridiculed, my stuff was stolen from me, and my door taken off the hinges. She's destroyed my stuff, and completely cleared out my room when I was 13. Forcing me to sleep on the floor, no blankets, no mattress, nothing. That went on for a whole year. She would flush my medication, and then tell the medical professionals that I did; purposely putting me in hospitals so she can "have a break". She forced me into an eating disorder when I was only 7 years old.
I used to believe that I deserve this treatment, part of me still does, but it has set me up for failure. I have no confidence, and I'm constantly exhausted.

I do fully believe my mother will beat me to death if she gets upset enough.

Why do parents have children that they don't want? I didn't ask to be born, so why does she hate me so much.
 
  • Love
  • Aww..
Reactions: pickajack, throwawayyy, LittleJem and 3 others
girlsboysthems

girlsboysthems

no i dont have a gun
Dec 19, 2022
455
sorry to hear all of this has happened to you love and I hope you can move on with your life when you get out of there and start really believing you deserve every breath you take and you are not a burden <3
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
46,844
That is really horrific, I think that procreation is already cruel and selfish enough without treating the person so badly. It's just so repulsive to force life so unnecessarily into this world and create so much suffering as a result, this world truly is hell to me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Suicidе and Kerrtu
TowerRoad

TowerRoad

Member
Apr 21, 2023
25
What a terrible human being.
I hope Karma gets her one way or another, today or tomorrow.

Nothing is your fault my child. I know is hard but try to get some help.
Nothing is your fault, children shouldn't suffer what you have been facing.

If you ever have kids (it's your choice) don't follow her path and be a good parent.

Sending you hope from here.
 
Aisley

Aisley

Wizard
Mar 12, 2023
624
Amen. The problem with reproducing is just about everyone can do it.
You could imagine you have a child, imagine how you would treat her and love her and protect her, and project all that onto yourself. Be your own mother, mentally. People who've been abused sometimes have the ability to (not fracture) segment their minds in such ways, feed the need. If this all seems stupid, then feel free to dismiss, and I apologize.
Also, get away from her. Contact your dad's family or whatever it takes. Get away from her. She's poisoning you.
 
Kerrtu

Kerrtu

Komeetta ♊︎
May 8, 2023
474
My father took the door off the hinges to my room as well. He also bolted a 2 x 4 across the front door from the inside, and made the side door lock from the inside with a separate key needed to get through the mud room door. It's been almost 2 years since we last "spoke" - he told me to "jump off a fucking bridge".

The first time I "escaped", when I told him eventually I wasn't planning to come back there to live, I went to get my things and he was enraged to the point he had smashed just about everything I had at the time, and threw it all in trash bags, left it all on the front lawn.

I would ask in my head…I still ask, why? Why the fuck did my "parents" have me? Why does my father hate me with such force? Such torment, nearly my entire life from him.

I hear you, OP.

I hear you ❤️‍🩹
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: LittleJem
unnormal9

unnormal9

SOLDIER T.
Apr 12, 2023
1,134
Some fuck around irresponsibly and <BOOM!>—got a kid; others, think they want one so badly, realized it's much more than they bargined for and end up disposing them.
The result of me.
And of course a plethora of other reasons.
 

Similar threads

ancient owl
Replies
3
Views
218
Suicide Discussion
panhandle5363
panhandle5363
violetforever
Replies
7
Views
142
Suicide Discussion
violetforever
violetforever
moralfag
Replies
8
Views
318
Suicide Discussion
moralfag
moralfag