Venting WHY DO MEN

[theboy]

Your message is clear but the title is stigmatized. In addition, at the end you emphasize again that it is "men" who are the problem
Wtf

 

[Wolf Girl]

Who am I to be talking about "ugly" women? That would require me to insult a woman, and apparently even when I think I make a pretty fair post pointing out men's flaws as well... somehow I'm still a bad guy out to harm women with my words. I can't catch a break, literally.

There are absolutely women who are treated badly by men. I thought I covered that. I didn't get into specifics, but do I have to? There are lots of men and women who are basically invisible to the people they find attractive. For what it's worth. Being "fat" doesn't make you unattractive. I've been attracted to women of all shapes and sizes. Believe me or not about that, but I'm WAY more interested in making a connection with a personality and an intelligence. If I like the woman inside, I'll like her outside. That's how I'm wired.

I didn't talk about ugly/fat men either. You didn't point that out, though. But if we're going down that road... ugly/fat men don't get a first look, much less a second look from any women. Even the women you would say are ugly/fat aren't giving the ugly/fat men a break. Are they? How many posts have you seen on this very forum from women who describe themselves as physically unattractive who say they only want to date handsome men and are mad that handsome men aren't approaching them? I know I've seen several. It works very much both ways, as I believe I was saying in my post that you only quoted a paragraph.

Meanwhile... just because most relationships seem to be transactional doesn't mean that is healthy. If your therapist is telling you that, is your therapist also pointing out that most of those transactional relationships are failing? Divorce rates are above 50%, and most people who have relationships have more than one in their lives... so that means most relationships fail. IF they are all transactional, hmmm... maybe that's part of why they are failing? Because people are trying to treat personal relationships like they would a business transaction? And, oh, circling back to the ugly/fat men/women... In a transactional relationship they are going to almost always lose, right? I mean, by business definition people don't like to buy the dented cans on the shelf at the grocery store unless the store gives them a discount, and even then some people still won't buy. This is what transactional relationships get you. That world sucks, and I'm not in favor of it.

Oh, and since you mentioned kids... I hate to say it, but parent/child relationships are absolutely transactional. Kids are helpless and can't do anything for themselves. Parents have to do everything for the kid to survive in the beginning. All kids can offer in transaction is being cute or doing cute things that the parents can show off to get transactional benefit from friends by parading their cute kid around. As the kid grows up, kids often have to do chores because the parents say things like "you live here in my house, you have to earn your way". Parents might pay for school, but will expect the kids to get good grades and a good job eventually. Parents often expect kids to "pay them back" in some way as adults when the parents need help. And our society frowns upon people who abandon their parents in need in their old age, since the kids "owe" their very existence and lives to the parents.

I don't know why your therapist would tell you all relationships are transaction and then cherry pick out the one exception that is most inherently transactional of them all. Kids have zero choice in their existence. We have lots of threads on this forum where people wish they'd been given the choice to never exist. You at least have some choice in who you date or who you ask out or who is your friend... you have no choice at all in who your parents are, and by the time you have any real choice, you already owe your parents a lot and usually they will let you know this.

I don't know why you picked that one paragraph to vent at me on... and I get it if that triggered you somehow, and I am sorry for that. But my post was about so much more than that one paragraph and someone coming here and just seeing that and not scrolling back is going to get a skewed perspective on what I actually said.

Not reading all that in detail while high but just gonna say I picked that paragraph out because I've repeatedly seen you imbed these kind of incel-coded, "women are hypocrites," "nice guys finish last" talking points within posts that are otherwise reasonable. That's why I pointed it out. Not even gonna sit here and point out the ones in this post.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Steph99]

A lot of guys today are being propagandized by pick-up artist culture that teaches them to harrass women until one of them relents. It's a cancer of our society that has only been getting worse with social media.

Yes, and then when such a hopeless approach inevitably fails, they become angry incels.

 

[Dejected 55]

Not reading all that in detail while high but just gonna say I picked that paragraph out because I've repeatedly seen you imbed these kind of incel-coded, "women are hypocrites," "nice guys finish last" talking points within posts that are otherwise reasonable. That's why I pointed it out. Not even gonna sit here and point out the ones in this post.

You've clearly made up your mind to only read the parts of my post where I comment about women, and ignore everything I say about problems with men. Also, you were actually previously mad about me for NOT talking about (in your words) "fat ugly women." Think about that for a minute. You were mad at me for NOT insulting women based on physical appearance.

You deem my posts "otherwise reasonable" as long as I only bash men, which I do quite a bit actually... but if I try to make a balanced post recognizing humanity is to blame, which includes both men and women, you go off on how I'm suddenly a secret incel for daring to comment on women as well as men.

Congratulations for making the block list.

 

[katara]

Not reading all that in detail while high but just gonna say I picked that paragraph out because I've repeatedly seen you imbed these kind of incel-coded, "women are hypocrites," "nice guys finish last" talking points within posts that are otherwise reasonable. That's why I pointed it out. Not even gonna sit here and point out the ones in this post.

I think ur right. I literally just saw a thread by that user and it was filled with similar comments.

 

[Macedonian1987]

Disclaimer:
First of all nothing against any men here or those who don't harass women. I'm aware most of them are just chill an mind their own business. Most men I talked to on sasu especially were so so kind.

Anyway. So I have social anxiety. I can talk to people and be like "normal-ish", but today I was just at the park and a random man approached me and asked me 3 times for my number...The thing is he didn't ask polite or normal. He made weird comments on how I would eat the random item in my hand and stuff. I don't know. He kept harassing me 3 times. Until he took the hint. I have been the second week on my own moving and I already have 3 different instances with men where I felt unsave. I know generalizing is bad, but 2 weeks...come on. I was tripped. I was talked to weird twice. Why?? I just want to be in peace. Normally people in real life always ignored me always. So WHY now. All I want is to feel save and sound. Not to get harassed by men and have a normal life.

I had the bad luck to have the roles reversed when i was younger. I was the one who was harassed by a woman.
Approx 20 years ago i met a girl who was never a good person, not even in the begining, but i started a relationship with her because of... and im ashamed of admiting it... because she had a good body and i wanted to have sex with her. I made a huge mistake, she was a cruel person who enjoyed seeing me suffer. She found joy in watching me be depressed and did everything she could to make my depression much worse. After we broke up she harassed me by phone and coming to my apratament uninvited and worrying my parents for 3 whole years after we broke up. This was a big lesson to me, a painful lesson. After that i was much more careful in choosong my women, which there werent many because of my asperger's.

 

[EmptyBottle]

Disclaimer:
First of all nothing against any men here or those who don't harass women. I'm aware most of them are just chill an mind their own business. Most men I talked to on sasu especially were so so kind.

Anyway. So I have social anxiety. I can talk to people and be like "normal-ish", but today I was just at the park and a random man approached me and asked me 3 times for my number...The thing is he didn't ask polite or normal. He made weird comments on how I would eat the random item in my hand and stuff. I don't know. He kept harassing me 3 times. Until he took the hint. I have been the second week on my own moving and I already have 3 different instances with men where I felt unsave. I know generalizing is bad, but 2 weeks...come on. I was tripped. I was talked to weird twice. Why?? I just want to be in peace. Normally people in real life always ignored me always. So WHY now. All I want is to feel save and sound. Not to get harassed by men and have a normal life.

Could be chance.... or something (a dealer's house, club, etc) opened up that attracts disrespectful and risky men to the area. Not sure if travelling with 1 other person can deter those bad actors (it sometimes deters them).

 

[Liseli]

I had the bad luck to have the roles reversed when i was younger. I was the one who was harassed by a woman.
Approx 20 years ago i met a girl who was never a good person, not even in the begining, but i started a relationship with her because of... and im ashamed of admiting it... because she had a good body and i wanted to have sex with her. I made a huge mistake, she was a cruel person who enjoyed seeing me suffer. She found joy in watching me be depressed and did everything she could to make my depression much worse. After we broke up she harassed me by phone and coming to my apratament uninvited and worrying my parents for 3 whole years after we broke up. This was a big lesson to me, a painful lesson. After that i was much more careful in choosong my women, which there werent many because of my asperger's.

Sorry this happened to you. I hope she burns in hell

Could be chance.... or something (a dealer's house, club, etc) opened up that attracts disrespectful and risky men to the area. Not sure if travelling with 1 other person can deter those bad actors (it sometimes deters them).

Sadly not. The described event happened when i was with a classmate

 

[Macedonian1987]

Sorry this happened to you. I hope she burns in hell

Sadly not. The described event happened when i was with a classmate

In recent years she got some sort of autoimmune disease ( I think it's lupus) and she is probably in pain. She enjoyed making other people suffer, now she is the one who's suffering.

 

[Liseli]

Thats lowkey funny ngl

In recent years she got some sort of autoimmune disease ( I think it's lupus) and she is probably in pain. She enjoyed making other people suffer, now she is the one who's suffering.