PatternAgainstUser
Member
- Sep 21, 2018
- 6
Easier said than done. "Just do it" mentality can lead to impulsive failed attempts.
Paulsmith
Student
- Aug 8, 2018
- 188
wezel
Experienced
- Aug 14, 2018
- 221
That is very decent and compassionate of you, I hope that your situation is bearable through all this.
wezel
Experienced
- Aug 14, 2018
- 221
Very noble and caring of you ! Wish you the best in all of this.
Maravillosa
Господи помилуй — мир в Україні!
- Sep 7, 2018
- 689
Thank you, @wezel
Contemplating and planning my ctb (among other things) help make my situation bearable.
wezel
Experienced
- Aug 14, 2018
- 221
Very true, I can absolutely relate to that. Looking after a parent like that is tough and unforgiving,
but in a certain way the reciprocal thing for what they did for us when we were infants.
( The possibility of CBT also puts my mind to rest, so one good thing has already come out of it ..lol...the rest
will follow eventually, in whatever way. There is a 2% chance my situation can get better-- no wait-- its only
0.5%, but I'll hang on for that...sigh...)
Feelings are stronger than intellect. Knowing that eating too much is bad to one's health never stopped most obese people to keep eating and get diabetes. We are animals programmed by our dna to survive and spread our genes. Our body doesn't want us to die. One day the machine will fail anyway, whether we catch the bus by ourselves or not.
For now, I'm okay with being in the "planning" stage. I want to get it right. There have been a few failed attempts already.
I'm hate being in limbo. Every waking minute is just pure torture right now. I've done all the research, planning and preparation. Now it feels like I'm just waiting for the next trigger to make me act on 'impulse' and do it.
I don't know why I'm not doing it now!
I don't know why I'm not doing it now!
RainAndSadness
Administrator
- Jun 12, 2018
- 2,135
As I mentioned before, I'm in a relationship with a similiarly depressed person. Me leaving might lead to her suicide. I want to avoid that. It's the only thing keeping me back. I have my N, it's already packed in gift wrap. I've selected some possible hotels that are optimal for my plan. I have my dress ready. My suicide note is written, so I would basically be ready to go. I'm just really existing right now. I know I'm not staying alive because of hopes. My situation is pretty much a closed case. I've made peace and accepted the situation. It's okay for me to die young. I'm simply staying alive for that person that counts on me. My schedule was September initially but I had to delay that date anyway because some issues with my dress came up. Maybe it's gonna be october now. I need to see how I can approach this situation. It's easier for me to leave, knowing that I won't cause someone else to leave too. So yeah. I might visit the forum from time to time until I'm finally leaving.
Everyone has there own separate situation and circumstances.
This might be my first post but I've browsed the forum anonymously for a while and I am suprised how many likes the original post has in all honesty.
Awful post.
This might be my first post but I've browsed the forum anonymously for a while and I am suprised how many likes the original post has in all honesty.
Awful post.
lostinthedream
Warlock
- Sep 2, 2018
- 754
I have elderly family that I am the primary caretaker for, also I live from a place of trust, the idea has been concieved within me, i simply trust that if/when it is time for me to do it, i will.. and if not.. ultimately it'll happen via natural causes sooner as opposed to later
Alexa
Lost cause
- Aug 16, 2018
- 22
Ehhhh that's not nesserarily true for everyone. Some of us have a deadline, pun intended, to when we have to KTB. Because the date is already decided, why not spend the time you have left trying to enjoy yourself?
I understand what you're saying, the longer you put it off, the longer it builds up, and becomes harder to do.. but I wouldn't assume that peoples participation here is an indication of their lack of seriousness.
If you want to wait to KTB because McDonald's is bringing back the McRib, and you wanna eat one before you die, then wait.
The beauty about pro-choice, is the choice part. If you can keep dealing with your day to day pain, and put off your KTB, maybe you'll soon realize that you could put up with the pain, or even fix it.
To plant the idea that wanting to die means you should drop everything and get it done as fast as you can, hinders the chances of somebody potentially realizing life is worth living
I have my new date, its been delayed because ive been sectioned but they are coming roumd to the fact they cant help me. So till that date im making sure my affairs are in order and if i can get 1 person to hear me out then thats all i need. I dont want anyone wondering but why did she do that, my reasons are known and i hope that brings comfort to those who do have my back.
LayZ
BrainF4ck
- Dec 30, 2018
- 51
Bit of an odd post from the original poster. Trying to be inflammatory or trying to get a feel for how people are genuinely feeling?
Feeling suicidal *can* be for some people like any other feeling - like feeling sad, happy, hot, cold. It can wax and wane. For other people something can tip them over the edge into a sudden impulsive move and other people can feel deeply suicidal for decades then decide age 60 to do it.
No two people feel the same and no one can judge or condemn that. When you get to that place when you know you're going to do it it's a deeply personal thing.
Feeling suicidal *can* be for some people like any other feeling - like feeling sad, happy, hot, cold. It can wax and wane. For other people something can tip them over the edge into a sudden impulsive move and other people can feel deeply suicidal for decades then decide age 60 to do it.
No two people feel the same and no one can judge or condemn that. When you get to that place when you know you're going to do it it's a deeply personal thing.
LayZ
BrainF4ck
- Dec 30, 2018
- 51
Being suicidal is not an emotion.
You want to die?
Just do it.
You want to die?
Just do it.
A lot of people here have people they care about and that does make it a really emotive issue. There are dozens of posts from people who don't want their families to find their body and be traumatised or leave elderly parents with no one to care for them even though they inside are feeling absolutely desperate. Some people are utterly torn and it's not as simple as just "doing it"
Your avatar is cracking me up for some reason!
Pulpit2018
Experienced
- Oct 8, 2018
- 287
Even in a suicide forum,there is going to be some Gatekeeping,lol.
LayZ
BrainF4ck
- Dec 30, 2018
- 51
pro-choice or pro-life pulpit?
Totally pro-choice; to the point that we should all be given a bottle of N alongside our birth certificate so we can all go as easy as painlessly as possible when we like
LayZ
BrainF4ck
- Dec 30, 2018
- 51
I don´t think that it should be easy and painless.
But I think I will succeed. This can't stop me.
Where there is a will there is a way; be it eternal peace or living well xx
killing me softly
don't wake me, i plan on sleeping in
- Dec 28, 2018
- 171
this is extremely thought provoking to me. part of me agrees. for me it's more of a state of being. i wake up every day with a desire to be dead and this has been the case for years.
but i also think there is an emotional aspect to it. i think for some "feeling suicidal" is just that - a feeling, an emotion. maybe it hasn't fully become a state of being, or maybe something so tragic happens in their lives that they become emotionally overwhelmed with a desire to die (like the recent news story about the woman who's boyfriend was run over and died and then she committed suicide hours after).
even if being suicidal isn't an emotion carrying it out certainly is governed by them. it definitely isn't as simple as throwing on a pair of Nike's. everything from fear, doubt, anxiety, guilt, and more are going to affect a person's ability to go through with it. not to mention if one is going to ctb they should carefully plan, gather resources, etc. it's definitely not something that should be done spur of the moment.
anyway, those are my rambling thoughts on this.
You are incredibly articulate and express this so well. I relate completely to this about it being a 'state of being' that you live with. I've felt like that since I was about eight and it's exhausting.
LayZ
BrainF4ck
- Dec 30, 2018
- 51
If your goal is dying, then all emotions are contra productive.
Even thinking about it too much is contra productive.
If Life is your problem solution minded thinking would lead you to the logic consequence : suicide.
If you just need attention then speaking about your problems with whoever cares could help you, yes.
I´ve made my decision.
Even thinking about it too much is contra productive.
If Life is your problem solution minded thinking would lead you to the logic consequence : suicide.
If you just need attention then speaking about your problems with whoever cares could help you, yes.
I´ve made my decision.
AlePizarnik
Member
- Nov 8, 2018
- 95
Because I don't have access to a painless method
I don't have full trust in any method available to me.
But I suffered lots of pain before so stuff like hanging should be fine and accessible.
I am afraid of death.
But most importantly I am afraid of giving up opportunity. I don't want this to have been all for nothing. All my life I have been "nice" and worked hard and tried to please people.. for nothing.
If I had known how this goes I would have been an asshole much sooner.
If I had a shotgun I would probably be dead already. A trigger is just too convenient.
But I suffered lots of pain before so stuff like hanging should be fine and accessible.
I am afraid of death.
But most importantly I am afraid of giving up opportunity. I don't want this to have been all for nothing. All my life I have been "nice" and worked hard and tried to please people.. for nothing.
If I had known how this goes I would have been an asshole much sooner.
If I had a shotgun I would probably be dead already. A trigger is just too convenient.
