Why are you still here?

[dhk96]

I know and I don't know at the same time. Or maybe I just don't want to admit some hard to swallow truths like still being afraid of being 'gone' or of wanting to live despite wanting to die and stop feeling/thinking. There are still things I enjoy doing, even if there are a lot more I can't enjoy anymore and even though I don't enjoy the activities as much as I used to. I still laugh sometimes, even though I feel sad and mad and cry more often than not. There are emotions and thoughts I'd like to share with others, even though I have no one to talk to other than my family.

The simplest answer might be that I have no energy to do anything. It has been so long that I've felt this way that I'm stuck in this endless cycle of waiting and suffering (for a lack of better words, I hope I'm still not 'hoping'). Of doing nothing. I'm just here, waiting for the right timing and for myself to muster up courage to CTB.

I am not unsure of anything, but I am not killing myself as long as my dog is alive.

Off-topic but you found the original picture! Congrats! The one you used as a replacement was pretty too.

 

[wanttodie]

am still searching for the right method. I am 100% sure I want out

 

[millefeui]

Off-topic but you found the original picture! Congrats! The one you used as a replacement was pretty too.

Yep. I saved it in a completely random folder, no wonder I couldn't find it!

 

[6477244ts5]

Fear. Fear of oblivion as illogical as that sounds. Fear of waking up even worse off from a failure. Fear of doing it the day before some miracle fixes all my problems. Fear.

 

[Why.]

It would break my roommate. Not only can I not bring myself to do it to her, I feel awful about the impact it'd have on the rest of my loved ones. That and a nice big helping of cowardice.

 

[Sternum]

It's take alot of effort to overpower the strongest instinct; survival. Reguardlessof what people claim, most of the people here are still alive becuase of that instinct, not becuase of logical reasons. It's easy to live stay where you are than actually kill yourself in almost evrey case.

Exactly

 

[M]

It would hurt my brother. I have helped my brother almost his whole life (he has some disabilities) and my mother is unable to take care of him as she is old now. Plus, I'm here to make sure this website stays up.

 

[DragonRock13]

My dog barked and i almost got caught

 

[CantGoOn]

I haven't ordered N yet or SN, due to laziness and I was feeling better but that never lasts. I booked a flight to visit a long time online friend, but now I don't even know if I want to go. He said he will pay 1/2 back since he knows I'm going to kms after visit..and doesn't want to get attached.

If I had it right now I'd have to book a hotel to a different city. I can barely get out of bed most days.

 

[MortDeVivre]

My partners aren't ready, and there's some stuff I need to organize.

 

[thesongbird]

Going to start college and get a degree in Computer Science. If I don't find college worth continuing or life after college worth continuing ill end it. Best possible outcome for me is living alone in a small place where I can make art, philosophy, and not worry about money. Most likely outcome I'll see that life after college was not worth it and end it.

 

[war-is-lost]

Going to start college and get a degree in Computer Science. If I don't find college worth continuing or life after college worth continuing ill end it. Best possible outcome for me is living alone in a small place where I can make art, philosophy, and not worry about money. Most likely outcome I'll see that life after college was not worth it and end it.

It seems you are not at an advanced stage of suicide if you were giving this college thing a go. You still have hope of a better life and I am genuinely happy for you. May this college thing work out for you and hope that you would never get to this advanced stage where I am at.

 

[Cloudstar]

I haven't found the right way yet but I really have had enough I've tried 3 times and failed this time I will make sure

 

[Hanger]

Wish you good luck for the next turn.
I don´t know why I´m still here, one try failed and then I hoped for better times...

 

[Cloudstar]

Good luck to you too

 

[Hanger]

Thanks, hope it will work soon

 

[Cloudstar]

Me to

 

[Lost]

Fear of being found in time again. Still looking at a plan B

 

[Cloudstar]

What's your plan b

 

[Cloudstar]

I don't have the problem of being found

 

[FallenfromGrace]

I have many reasons

• My stupid friends won't let me- it'll break two or three of them
• My stupid family won't let me- it'll break my uncle, sisters, and cousins
• Don't want everyone to be sad ^
• For some reason people like me? ^
• My cat I could never leave her. She follows me around like my shadow and I'm one of two people she actually likes. (I'm her favorite!)
• I don't yet have a fully planned method or time, but I'm planning for maybe September but I'm not sure yet
• Hope?

 

[daemonblight]

Because I don't want to hurt my mom and I'm afraid of what might come after death (nothingness, an afterlife, reincarnation, etc.) as well as what would happen if I failed.