Why are people on social media so mean?

[slamjoetry]

I used to be on Twitter and Reddit, until the hostility of everyone on those sites got to me and I just couldn't take it anymore. So I recently joined Bluesky, which is supposed to be better, but it's just more of the same. Especially when it's about politics (which is all that social media sites put in your feed). Hell, even if I'm on someone's side politically, they'll STILL get pissed at me. Here's an example:

Post: "I wish there were more movies from the 80s where America and corporations were depicted as the villain"

Me: "Actually, there are! [Names list of movies]. You just gotta watch more sci-fi. That's where all the political stuff is at."

Post: "Those are sci-fi, not geo-political action movies bro."

Me: "...you didn't ask for geo-political action movies."

Post: "I didn't ask you for anything."

Me: "I don't understand. You wanted more of a specific type of movie, so I recommended some to you, and you're coming off very rude in response."

I got blocked after this.

That's just the most recent example, and a pretty tame one at that. I've been swore at called a moron, idiot, asshole, everything you can think of. And it happens almost every time I comment online. You gotta believe me, I'm trying to be as polite and inoffensive as possible. I want is to have a conversation with somebody. I have no friends IRL and I'm unemployed till next week, so I have nowhere else to go but online. But it seems like everyone logs in online already pissed off and prepared to throw hands. Thank god this site exists, otherwise with my schizophrenia, I'd probably be terrified to leave the house in fear that somebody's gonna fight me if I say even a single word. Has anyone else had similar experiences on social media? Why do you think people act like this?

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I think people are just extremely angry in general, and it's easy to take that anger out on others when you're anonymous online. It's understandable why people are so mad, but the way they take it out on each other is kind of stupid.

 

[33-vertebrae]

Everyone is mean, because everyone is mean.

It's an endless feedback loop.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Just do what I do and annoy them with Astolfos, always works.

 

[Prism]

There's the anonymity and lack of consequences, but I also think that, in general, people's social skills have just really taken a hit for various reasons. Not that I'm some social butterfly myself, but I'm the type who's overly polite out of anxiety lol. I can't fathom being rude to someone who's just trying to make some relevant recommendations. You didn't do anything wrong, so I hope you're not taking it personally.

 

[d3m1g0d]

when i feel bad from something (bad grades, losing important things) i am quite not happy and take it out on others, and they can't do anything back, perhaps that's why? i'll try to not do it since that must suck

 

[FoxSauce]

I guess people do that cuz their anonymous, plus maybe have struggles of their own and maybe let out some steam?

Of course this isnt a effective way to go on about things.

Theres also people who like making other people suffer so idk tbh

 

[-Link-]

I think people are just extremely angry in general, and it's easy to take that anger out on others when you're anonymous online.

This, in part, definitely. And being that social media already has this reputation, a lot of people will be on guard and primed for confrontation before you've even said a word to them.

Also:

Post: "I wish there were more movies from the 80s where America and corporations were depicted as the villain"

Me: "Actually, there are! [Names list of movies]. You just gotta watch more sci-fi. That's where all the political stuff is at."

This was a presumptuous start to the exchange in that it reads as if you're correcting the person and telling them what they have to do, which a lot of people will get defensive in response to. Their replies were prickish, but your follow-ups read as argumentative as well.

There is nothing inherently wrong with what you said. But as a conversational approach -- especially in an environment where a lot of people are angry, sensitive, and prone to personalization -- this will be less successful than if you were to communicate in a way that avoids presumption.

A few ways to avoid this: Use hypotheticals ("if you like sci-fi, then maybe..."). Ask questions instead of making statements ("do you like sci-fi?"). Make suggestions instead of dictating ("you could check out these sci-fi movies"). Speak from your own perspective ("I'd recommend these ones").

Again, there is no real "right" or "wrong" here. It's just that some approaches are more apt to be well-received than others.

I have no friends IRL and I'm unemployed till next week, so I have nowhere else to go but online. But it seems like everyone logs in online already pissed off and prepared to throw hands.

I know how it is to get discouraged in response to these situations, but you read as someone with good potential, so I would encourage you to keep at it.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I think people are just extremely angry in general, and it's easy to take that anger out on others when you're anonymous online. It's understandable why people are so mad, but the way they take it out on each other is kind of stupid.

It's also important to note that when online we tend to sort of dehumanize others compared to irl. Because we aren't interacting with people face-to-face it probably makes it harder to view others as anything more than pixels on your screen. It also doesn't help that group polarization is common within online spaces, which can lead to more aggressive behaviours. When in a group, it can lead to de-individuation, which can result in impulses that are usually constrained by self-control becoming less constrained. As a result, this can lead to people engaging in bad behaviours that they usually wouldn't typically engage in if they were by themselves. Both anonymity and group presence have been found to increase the occurrence of immoral behaviour and considering the fact that both can be found all over the Internet, along with the lack of face-to-face interactions, essentially makes the internet a perfect breeding ground for awful behaviour.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Because there are no consequences to being mean online. I think that the internet just reveals who people really are whereas people irl have to put up a facade due to social norms and cultures

 

[ineed2die]

Most people are sad, bitter and angry. They want everyone else to suffer like they suffer, even just a little bit.

I support everyone who is mean, a scammer, a liar and a piece of shit. You have my sympathy.

 

[Promised Heaven]

People are hostile on social media because they see others doing it so it's okay to do it themselves. I personally call it soapboxing.

 

[Pluto]

 

[platypus77]

Recommendation algorithms (fucking AI) rewards engagement, and the emotion that generates the most of it is hate.

That's why it seems there's only hate on the internet, but it's just part of it.

But since people are being exposed more and more to it, guess what happened?

 

[_Maya]

There are many research papers about this, and it all comes down to anonymity. People often take more risks and have lower inhibitions due to the lack of consequences and being unable to be personally identified.

 

[MelancholyMagic]

People are on social media, and people are, by and large, spectacularly mean.