toxicjester
The world’s worst jester
- Dec 11, 2023
- 65
I thought I was having a good day today. I've been having a hard time getting to places on time recently but I woke up earlier than I usually do, was able to dry my work clothes, took out the dogs, and took a shower before I had to go to work.
But then I wanted to get cheap gas cause I needed gas and I ended up being late anyways. And then work was way overwhelming but I was keeping it together. And then I had a customer complain about something so stupid and if it wasn't for the fact that I was overwhelmed I would've joked about it. But it was a breaking point for me so I ran to the back room and started viscerally crying. My brother ended up coming in along with another manager and I just spilled about feeling so shitty and suicidal(not that this raises major flags to my brother at this point I talk about this shit all the time it's almost a joke). While I was already down the manager told me that she knows I got "personal issues" but that I need to start coming to work on time since the higher ups are on her back about it. It just made me feel much worse.
She ended up telling me to go on break and to see if I wanted to go home(which I'm gonna do even though home life isn't much better), and I called my gf and spilled even more to her which sucks cause she was already feeling like dog shit but I don't have any friends or anyone to talk about with this.
I wish I wasn't such a baby about all this. I wish I didn't get overwhelmed so easy. I wish I wasn't alive.
But then I wanted to get cheap gas cause I needed gas and I ended up being late anyways. And then work was way overwhelming but I was keeping it together. And then I had a customer complain about something so stupid and if it wasn't for the fact that I was overwhelmed I would've joked about it. But it was a breaking point for me so I ran to the back room and started viscerally crying. My brother ended up coming in along with another manager and I just spilled about feeling so shitty and suicidal(not that this raises major flags to my brother at this point I talk about this shit all the time it's almost a joke). While I was already down the manager told me that she knows I got "personal issues" but that I need to start coming to work on time since the higher ups are on her back about it. It just made me feel much worse.
She ended up telling me to go on break and to see if I wanted to go home(which I'm gonna do even though home life isn't much better), and I called my gf and spilled even more to her which sucks cause she was already feeling like dog shit but I don't have any friends or anyone to talk about with this.
I wish I wasn't such a baby about all this. I wish I didn't get overwhelmed so easy. I wish I wasn't alive.
