Why Am I so chickenshit?

[mondo9k]

I've had the SN for months already. And the antiemetic. It makes logical sense in every way. My insurance will pay a lot to my kids (I've checked the 2 year clause in the policy), I have heart failure and am only diagnosed 2 to 5 years to live anyway. I feel unhappy living with a damaged heart. But I'm just too chickenshit?

 

[fields.of.lace]

Well, I don't know if you would like a response or are just screaming into the void.
But I can understand fear. Sometimes it's less scary to let the universe decide your fate, sometimes it's more scary. I wish you peace for as long as you're here.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm scared too. I'm likely further off from doing it than you- I'm waiting for my Dad to go first but when I really start thinking about physically doing it- it really frightens me. Same method as you- SN. My meto is out of date but I doubt I'll be able to get any more now since the police checks here. I think they put it on your record.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we're all in this position. Feels like being trapped between a rock and a hard place.

 

[Nebel_meer]

You're not a chickenshit for being afraid of the unknown. Because everyone is afraid of it. It's normal.
Moreover, the survival instinct is usually pretty strong. It's only nature.
Don't call yourself that word.
We're all feeling basically the same fear. We're in this shit together.
When the time comes, you will be in peace

 

[Fktw0rld]

You aren't chickenshit. Hell, I've had mine for 3 years! If you're chickenshit than that makes me chickensquirts.

 

[Valky]

There is absolutely no shame in it. There is no use trying to pressure or force yourself to take it. We just have to wait until the time is right :)

 

[CentreMid]

I've had the SN for months already. And the antiemetic. It makes logical sense in every way. My insurance will pay a lot to my kids (I've checked the 2 year clause in the policy), I have heart failure and am only diagnosed 2 to 5 years to live anyway. I feel unhappy living with a damaged heart. But I'm just too chickenshit?

I'm sorry you're feeling like this. Feeling like you're unable to carry it out just yet even though you know you can it's upsetting for sure! If I may ask, would it be helpful to set a date? No worries if not, I'm just throwing suggestions out there

That being said, there is no set time or date that one has to carry out their suicide, even with plan or set date. I know it's not ideal, and you may want that day to come faster, but sometimes you won't have to put pressure on yourself to do it, you'll just know when the time is right.

Anywho, wishing you the best of luck, and I hope you find peace. Take care.

 

[FuneralCry]

After all only you know when the time is right for you to leave, and anyway even if someone is fully aware that suicide is the most logical option that makes sense to prevent future suffering, they are still programmed to survive, it's like the survival instinct exists just to keep people trapped here and prolong the existence that they wish to be free from. But I do envy those with the SN method all planned, I believe that those with the option of such reliable method truly are fortunate in a world where suicide is becoming more and more difficult as time goes on, they aren't trapped here.