Why am I hated by those I know for lacking empathy?

[Close_to_freedom]

I often lack sympathy as well. I hate having to fake it so I often don't.

They know I was abused as a child. It's like they can't see the connection.

 

[KiraComplex]

well consider how you react to others and how you make them feel.
i suffer from over empathy and hyper sensitivity. many people i meet are like you and completely lack both; not that its wrong.
if you make others feel bad and completely don't give a shit then maybe that's your answer.

 

[GoBack]

People can't always see the connection to abuse. They think it's something you should just get over. No point trying to live by other people's standards when they can't fathom something that people have to live with everyday, that takes up all your energy with little left over

 

[Close_to_freedom]

well consider how you react to others and how you make them feel.
i suffer from over empathy and hyper sensitivity. many people i meet are like you and completely lack both; not that its wrong.
if you make others feel bad and completely don't give a shit then maybe that's your answer.

But feeling bad is partly on them. If I don't fall in line, then they feel bad. Falling in line with their often irrational thoughts and opinions just doesn't work for me.

People can't always see the connection to abuse. They think it's something you should just get over. No point trying to live by other people's standards when they can't fathom something that people have to live with everyday, that takes up all your energy with little left over

Yes, they're very dismissive. They all but tell me to suck it up. My parents don't do that. They're the only people in my family I like. I really want to avoid all upcoming family gatherings, but my parents would be sad.

 

[SpottedPanda]

You said your parents would be sad. That's you showing empathy and sympathy.

You said you don't feel empathy, but how does that manifest? If you're being unnecessarily callous very few people will accept that. It's just a question of social courtesy

 

[Close_to_freedom]

You said your parents would be sad. That's you showing empathy and sympathy.

You said you don't feel empathy, but how does that manifest? If you're being unnecessarily callous very few people will accept that. It's just a question of social courtesy

I only care about my parents. It manifests in me not saying the right words (or even attempting to) or showing anything beyond a stoic expression when caring is expected.

The truth is my problems overwhelm me and always have. I have no room for other people's problems or concerns.

 

[SpottedPanda]

I only care about my parents. It manifests in me not saying the right words or showing anything beyond a stoic expression when caring is expected.

Well maybe you just lack emotional expressiveness. I'm quite stoic. Other people's reactions just seem like overreactions to me, like theatre. And maybe you just find it difficult to express yourself in words. Might not necessarily mean you lack empathy. People react differently to different things

 

[Close_to_freedom]

Well maybe you just lack emotional expressiveness. I'm quite stoic. Other people's reactions just seem like overreactions to me, like theatre. And maybe you just find it difficult to express yourself in words. Might not necessarily mean you lack empathy. People react differently to different things

I added more info to the post you just responded to.

 

[SpottedPanda]

I added more info to the post you just responded to.

I feel the same, really, to comment on what you added. The petty concerns of others need not concern you, unless it's a loved one

 

[Close_to_freedom]

I feel the same, really, to comment on what you added. The petty concerns of others need not concern you, unless it's a loved one

They're in my family and are "loved ones." I don't consider them that, but they don't know. It's interesting that their idea of me is mostly based on assumption. They think I love them but don't like them. If I don't like a person, then I don't love them.

 

[SpottedPanda]

They're in my family and are "loved ones." I don't consider them that, but they don't know. It's interesting that their idea of me is mostly based on assumption. They think I love them but don't like them. If I don't like a person, then I don't love them.

That's your all to make, really. It's up to you who you love, and essentially sometimes it's out of your hands whether you love someone or hate them. Your feelings just take over