Venting why am I even here

[sickgirlzis]

i haven't been on here in a long time because i felt more negative being on here but i have nowhere else to go.
i don't get why im even alive. i always believed the purpose of life was to be happy, and still do believe that, but if im not happy, then what is the point? at this point, i wish I were never born at all. i always had hope that things would get better but it's going to take a while for that to happen and im so broken down and empty that i don't even want to try anymore. i am too scared to die so i wish I was just never born in the first place. and it's even worse knowing no one would really miss me since im socially isolated. every second im alive feels like torture.

 

[ADBoy777]

Same here. Every breath every simple heart beat I feel it all with pain and sadness.
Hopefully it will all end soon

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I agree, what's the point of life when we're not happy with our lives? What would it need to be happy in your case?

 

[sickgirlzis]

I agree, what's the point of life when we're not happy with our lives? What would it need to be happy in your case?

im not even sure really. im just in a really bad situation where im trapped with family who don't accept me as i am. my life would be even a bit better if i could just get out, even if im unstable in terms of housing or financial situation. but to be truly happy, I just want to have a nice life with someone i love, and gaining my love for life again. im just scared that's never gonna happen with the way my life is looking right now. i just think i should give up now since i can't even find a way to get out of this situation, i just feel that it would be easier in some ways for me to end it all now instead of getting better.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

I relate to this a lot. I feel like i'm stuck in a sick game that I cannot seem to exit out of. I never asked to be born and I hate every moment of it. Things just keep getting worse and worse and I'm so lost. I'm sorry you are going through the same thing OP.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

im not even sure really. im just in a really bad situation where im trapped with family who don't accept me as i am. my life would be even a bit better if i could just get out, even if im unstable in terms of housing or financial situation. but to be truly happy, I just want to have a nice life with someone i love, and gaining my love for life again. im just scared that's never gonna happen with the way my life is looking right now. i just think i should give up now since i can't even find a way to get out of this situation, i just feel that it would be easier in some ways for me to end it all now instead of getting better.

That's a problem all of us probably have - we all don't know the future. We could be lucky just a day after we CTBed. To me it seems you're craving basic human needs but sometimes it's even so difficult to achieve those. CTB is always the way out of everything in life but it's never easy - so is life.

 

[fadedroses]

One day I'll find a light out, I can't deal with the darkness of my life