Who is suicidal but scared of death as well?

[Bruces]

I know I am I'm scared but still think I want to go

 

[Paralyzed boy]

This is normal because it's our biological instinct to stay alive. Regardless of science humans want meaning to everything. I think as long as you're healthy physically then try to stick it out take it day by day. Some days will be hard some days will be easier than others

 

[Rue89]

I'm not really scared of death, but the process of dying. I'm afraid of pain and discomfort I'll experience while I'm dying. The main reason I want to die is because of my anxiety so it's no surprise that it makes it a little difficult.

 

[MeriDeath]

I've been suicidal since 17.
I'm 25 now.
And I think I've had enough, my life was dull and boring but I really don't care.
What scares me the most, just like all of you, is a painful exit.
So I'm still here thinking and daydreaming about it everyday by it's day.
Hopefully it will become reality soon. And no pain at all.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I'm not afraid of death, I am afraid of life

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I'm afraid of pain and discomfort I'll experience while I'm dying

Me too even though my research shows that I won´t feel a thing but recently I have been forcing myself to think what is a couple minutes of extreme pain compared to maybe 50 years of suffering like I do now.

 

[I’mDone]

I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of failing in my attempt and being left incapacitated. That's why I'm seeking painless methods. Survival instinct is strong enough, adding pain to the equation makes it much more likely that I'll instinctively back out.

 

[Reiraku]

I'm afraid of pain and discomfort I'll experience while I'm dying.

Then choose a method where you won't.

 

[Red]

Not so much of dying but of being found by people who it might mess up. Main obstacle at moment as obviously hotels aren't open for business

 

[Brink]

What scares me is not so much the process of dying or the temporary pain I may experience, although I'd like it to be as painless as possible, but what potentially happens next. The past few years have made me question everything, and I am spiritually and existentially terrified. I hope it's nothingness and 'I' subjectively discontinue.

@Bruces - if you 'think' you want to go then you don't 'know', and your issues may be temporary.

 

[Red]

It's be a real kicker to have to do it all again, right??

 

[Bruces]

My head says I should go but my heart says stay,on the logical side of things my life has been a complete disaster and really not logical to live but I still have reservations!

 

[Nolye]

I'm not really scared of death, but the process of dying. I'm afraid of pain and discomfort I'll experience while I'm dying. The main reason I want to die is because of my anxiety so it's no surprise that it makes it a little difficult.

This. All of this. Also the fear of screwing up and spending months in the psych wing of a hospital.

 

[SpottedPanda]

I'm scared of living, and I'm scared of discomfort, but I'm no longer scared of death. Once I stopped being interested by spirituality and religion, and followed the path of science, which by the way can be fuel for suicide in and of itself, I came to realise there's nothing to fear. As long as I choose a painless method, or the closest to that, there's little to fear.

I do feel a reluctance to leave, at times, but that's seventy thirty what with suicidal inclinations taking the power roll, for the majority of the time. I don't even really fear being in a vegetative state due to some kind of method failure, the same with dementia. Ignorance has a certain quality to it that makes the ignorant somewhat vacant, not there.

I won't live to regret death. I won't feel sad. I won't witness suffering. It'll be just like before I was born. Even the heartache of those closest. I will only feel bad about those things before the act of deliverance. So I ask myself, what is there to fear, apart from the fear of missing out? Very little, I conclude.

 

[SNOB]

I used to be terrified of not existing. Even tho I wouldn't be aware of it I am aware now that it will happen so that's why I feel this way. But I am slowly coming around to the idea. I'm not scared of going to sleep, although I was at one point.

I am thinking of my counciousness as something that isn't really real anyway. Sort of a frame by frame memory bank

 

[Exitforme]

At this rate I just want to discontinue my very existence. Pain or no pain even though I have a very peaceful method.

 

[Desky]

Not so much of dying but of being found by people who it might mess up. Main obstacle at moment as obviously hotels aren't open for business

A Russian spy was poisoned w one of the most deadly substances and survived wayyyy longer than predicted in the hospital. Eventually days later their organs started to liquefy like was supposed to happen days prior. This is a tale of how even very fatal peaceful methods are not always successful in the same dose for different people. Things can go wrong with any method. Am yet to find a method that has no flaws/risks.

 

[Deleted member 10475]

I'm just terrified of what's after. I know a lot of people are okay with there being nothing, but I don't want that. I wanna believe there's something better after this life, but that "what if there's not" scares me.

 

[WoodyOak]

Not afraid of Life or Death. Would have done it already but it would break my fathers` heart. For me, something I read (I think t was on this forum somehwere) pretty much sums it up for me...

 

[Squiddy]

I'm afraid of what comes after death and a possible hell

 

[mathieu]

It's scary for sure. But the idea of staying alive terrifies me.

 

[Squiddy]

It's scary for sure. But the idea of staying alive terrifies me.

Same for me too. I can see me potentially homeless in the future if my parents die which scares the hell outta me

 

[Saddaisy]

I'm not scared of death. I'm afraid of messing up and being even more miserable than I already am.

 

[RayoSinSol]

The process is scary, but my idea to hopefully get over that fear is to go to a nice, scenic location, get as high as I possibly motherfucking can (since you can't drink alcohol with SN), and swallow the poison once I feel I'm at the absolute lowest "fucks given" threshold possible.

 

[Evermore]

I'm scared of most things so I'm not surprised I'm scared of death. I think I'm just waiting for the fear of living to become more than the fear of dying .

 

[Bruces]

how can I find the gutts to do it? I feel ready

 

[Sotired_]

Yes. I mean I'd rather be living happily, but that seems to be impossible.

I really just want it all to stop. All of it, everything and dying is the only way that will happen.

I told myself even though I now have the means I'm not doing it on impulse, I have to be sure. But everyday the impulsive side calls me. I imagine that one day it'll get me even if I'm not totally sure.