Discussion Who here self harms?

[snailboy]

I've been self harming consistently for over a year and off and on earlier in my childhood, does anyone else? It's one if the only things that makes me feel sane and a lot of self harm communities have been disappearing :(

 

[theboy]

I only did it when I was a teenager
However, I think the marks on my body look nice and I would like to have more stripes. But I don't intend to hurt myself physically.

 

[dimstar]

I self harm. I know not everyone who wants to ctb wants to hurt themselves but I'm suprised how little it comes up. It's a big part of me and hard to find a community that doesnt spiral. Your not alone.

 

[saltero]

I've been self harming consistently for over a year and off and on earlier in my childhood, does anyone else? It's one if the only things that makes me feel sane and a lot of self harm communities have been disappearing :(

I self harm regularly. It gives me some peace and it's one of the only things keeping me sane. It does seem that sh isn't brought up all that often, which is weird considering the type of forum.

 

[ivzxkou]

i have been for over 10 years. it might not be a problem but my arms stomach and legs are permanently disfigured/scarred. it's impossible to hide. i've gotten tattoos to cover the scars and then cut over the tattoos. i do it for every reason you can imagine... release, punishment, fun.... idk what i'm gaining from it. doctors have considered putting me on experimental medication for drug addicts because i can't stop. it's ok though.

 

[thisiswhoiam-]

I wonder if self harm would do anything if i'm in pain or have physical symptoms all the time anyway? I'm also curious if someone who enjoys self harm would enjoy opioids. Instead of feeling pain you could delete it.
I was surprised when i saw someone with scars at their legs in the mental hospital, since i was thinking people only do it on their arms.

 

[bonez22]

I wish I could self harm but I get checked by my boyfriend..

 

[ptolemaea]

how ironic, i just finished cleaning my cuts. i had been clean for a few days, but you know how it is. there are still self harm communities online, although they seem to skew a bit younger. personally, for me, self harm is what takes my mind off of wanting to CTB. it's not about the pain, but the pleasure that comes with it.

 

[iwantdeath6969]

i feel like i'm completely obsessed with self harm at this point

 

[corazon]

I wonder if self harm would do anything if i'm in pain or have physical symptoms all the time anyway? I'm also curious if someone who enjoys self harm would enjoy opioids. Instead of feeling pain you could delete it.
I was surprised when i saw someone with scars at their legs in the mental hospital, since i was thinking people only do it on their arms.

I originally started out self harming on my arms, but since it's harder for me personally to find excuses to always cover my arms, I almost strictly do it on my leg (I always wore pants even from before I got into self-harm so it wasn't suspicious). The idea of self harm being on the arms is very common: the phrase "slash your wrists" and idea of emo culture that society seems to have makes it seem like it's the only place for it. But, people can and do harm themselves anywhere really.

 

[Roseate]

I wonder if self harm would do anything if i'm in pain or have physical symptoms all the time anyway? I'm also curious if someone who enjoys self harm would enjoy opioids. Instead of feeling pain you could delete it.
I was surprised when i saw someone with scars at their legs in the mental hospital, since i was thinking people only do it on their arms.

Nope, people do it in their arms, their legs and their stomach as well. It's easier to hide them if you do it in the legs or stomach cuz you can cover those most of the time and no one will be suspicious.

 

[borderline-feline]

I guess I have behaviors that would be considered physical self-harm. I don't really cut myself anymore, but I do bite myself and hit myself when my emotions get too intense.

I'm usually more of a psychological self-harm kind of person. I search out things that trigger intense, negative emotions in me and pick fights with strangers, knowing that I can't handle conflict, because it makes me feel less empty inside.

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

I guess I have behaviors that would be considered physical self-harm. I don't really cut myself anymore, but I do bite myself and hit myself when my emotions get too intense.

I'm usually more of a psychological self-harm kind of person. I search out things that trigger intense, negative emotions in me and pick fights with strangers, knowing that I can't handle conflict, because it makes me feel less empty inside.

I'm pretty similar, sometimes I've tried ripping off my fingers out of some weird compulsion under stress, I also tend to hit my liver a lot to try and make myself feel sick when I feel like I deserve it.

I've also said a ton of things that'd only just end up in my own hurt and distancing myself from others.

 

[borderline-feline]

I'm pretty similar, sometimes I've tried ripping off my fingers out of some weird compulsion under stress, I also tend to hit my liver a lot to try and make myself feel sick when I feel like I deserve it.

I've also said a ton of things that'd only just end up in my own hurt and distancing myself from others.

I was just today slamming my fist down on my leg where I'd accidentally hit it with a car door because I was getting really overstimulated. Part of me is curious what it would be like to break a bone since I've never done it before.

To a certain extent, I kinda enjoy pain, but I'll avoid getting too into that.

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

I was just today slamming my fist down on my leg where I'd accidentally hit it with a car door because I was getting really overstimulated. Part of me is curious what it would be like to break a bone since I've never done it before.

To a certain extent, I kinda enjoy pain, but I'll avoid getting too into that.

Same here, never broke a bone and I'm sort of morbidly curious but I'm going to need to pass unless I desperately need out of a situation lol.

I think it's normal to enjoy pain since the rush of endorphins can be quite pleasant, same reason people get addicted to cutting I believe.

 

[borderline-feline]

Same here, never broke a bone and I'm sort of morbidly curious but I'm going to need to pass unless I desperately need out of a situation lol.

I think it's normal to enjoy pain since the rush of endorphins can be quite pleasant, same reason people get addicted to cutting I believe.

I just don't really talk to people much about the pain I enjoy since it's a different sort of thing to enjoy being whipped, choked, beaten, and shocked than to self-harm.

I think my enjoyment of pain also contributed to my obsession with body modification. I kinda wish I was a Cenobite since pain and pleasure are the same sensation for them.

 

[aubrey!]

Nothing like the burn after running a fresh blade across your arm. I'm not too extreme with my self harm, but god the warm burn of a thin cut is just so soothing.

I mean, at that rate is it really self harm?

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

I just don't really talk to people much about the pain I enjoy since it's a different sort of thing to enjoy being whipped, choked, beaten, and shocked than to self-harm.

I think my enjoyment of pain also contributed to my obsession with body modification. I kinda wish I was a Cenobite since pain and pleasure are the same sensation for them.

Ohh never heard the Cenobite comparison, I don't get how you feel pain compared to pleasure and it's fine if you don't want to elaborate.

Although if you do feel comfortable to share, is it similar to feeling satisfied since you think you deserve the pain?

 

[borderline-feline]

Ohh never heard the Cenobite comparison, I don't get how you feel pain compared to pleasure and it's fine if you don't want to elaborate.

Although if you do feel comfortable to share, is it similar to feeling satisfied since you think you deserve the pain?

On some level, I think that that might be a factor, but I guess it's kind of a trauma response. I sexualize my trauma, so when things are rougher, that's always been really exciting to me, which led me to other types of pain. I've also tried burning myself with a cigar (that I didn't smoke) and using hot wax.

There's an amount of eroticism to physical pain to me. I think my brain is just kinda fucked up in general.

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

Nothing like the burn after running a fresh blade across your arm. I'm not too extreme with my self harm, but god the warm burn of a thin cut is just so soothing.

I mean, at that rate is it really self harm?

I like to think even if it soothes you it's sort of artificial, sort of like taking opiods for pain and not curing the underlying condition.

I view it as making another problem for yourself as it is very addicting, I like to view anything as self harm for me. I don't personally enjoy it, I've tried it - definitely not for me.

I don't look down upon anyone who does SH, I just don't fully get the appeal maybe its just me who really doesn't like pain. I do personally like the release and I sort of get the appeal to do it under great stress although not often.

I see it more as a slippery slope, I prefer drugs as an unhealthy coping mechanism as it's internal not external. I've just seen it become an insecurity for lots of people. Again, I'm not trying to bash on SH - just trying to state my views.

On some level, I think that that might be a factor, but I guess it's kind of a trauma response. I sexualize my trauma, so when things are rougher, that's always been really exciting to me, which led me to other types of pain. I've also tried burning myself with a cigar (that I didn't smoke) and using hot wax.

There's an amount of eroticism to physical pain to me. I think my brain is just kinda fucked up in general.

Ohhh like Masochism? I don't think that's the correct term but it's similar enough so you should get what I'm saying.

I've honestly been kind of normalized to it, I've had a lot of conversation revolving around kinks.

 

[aubrey!]

I like to think even if it soothes you it's sort of artificial, sort of like taking opiods for pain and not curing the underlying condition.

I view it as making another problem for yourself as it is very addicting, I like to view anything as self harm for me. I don't personally enjoy it, I've tried it - definitely not for me.

I don't look down upon anyone who does SH, I just don't fully get the appeal maybe its just me who really doesn't like pain. I do personally like the release and I sort of get the appeal to do it under great stress although not often.

I see it more as a slippery slope, I prefer drugs as an unhealthy coping mechanism as it's internal not external. I've just seen it become an insecurity for lots of people. Again, I'm not trying to bash on SH - just trying to state my views.

I didn't get the appeal either. I was always scared of pain and death and the pain that came with death. I mean, if i'm gonna experience pain intentionally why not just go all out and ctb? maybe i was trying to build up my tolerance. Someday one day I really got the urge to hurt myself, and a lot of the work i do involves using blades so I had some on hand. It was so satisfying. I can't describe it. I love watching the blood slowly come out the thin cuts. I don't see a lot of negatives to it, my arm may be marked but at this point it's not unmarking itself. I'm not scared to keep going. I don't get it but it's fun.

Nocom on drugs. Not accessible to me. I like alcohol though.

 

[trist]

i've been self harming for four years. for me it's not a coping mechanism anymore, it just became an addiction/need at this point .

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

I didn't get the appeal either. I was always scared of pain and death and the pain that came with death. I mean, if i'm gonna experience pain intentionally why not just go all out and ctb? maybe i was trying to build up my tolerance. Someday one day I really got the urge to hurt myself, and a lot of the work i do involves using blades so I had some on hand. It was so satisfying. I can't describe it. I love watching the blood slowly come out the thin cuts. I don't see a lot of negatives to it, my arm may be marked but at this point it's not unmarking itself. I'm not scared to keep going. I don't get it but it's fun.

Nocom on drugs. Not accessible to me. I like alcohol though.

I get what you mean now, I remember once I was so upset at myself I went to the bathroom and picked out a razer and cut my arm. It was pretty dull so it wasn't too intense but I ended up being exhausted and nauseous from the amount of blood I lost.

I remember seeing my arm completely covered in my blood and it felt satisfying, like I wanted to sleep. I've been properly educated on the dangers though and managed to stay clear of it.

I hope one day you won't need to cut yourself anymore, I'm not sure if you're attempting to quit or not. I just wish your pain would ease up to the point you don't need to resort to it.

 

[WaitingToGo]

I don't self harm by cutting myself but I do things to harm myself with drugs. Unfortunately I can only do this at the weekends as I'm still working so the effects of the drugs have to have worn off Before Monday
I like to mix opioids with sleeping pills in varying doses and just recently discovered drinking grapefruit juice at the same makes the effect stronger and longer lasting. I'm ready to do this this evening (grapefruits have been bought). I even went out and bought some cannabis yesterday. I know all this is wrong but i enjoy punishing this body, this person who shouldn't even be alive.

 

[aubrey!]

I get what you mean now, I remember once I was so upset at myself I went to the bathroom and picked out a razer and cut my arm. It was pretty dull so it wasn't too intense but I ended up being exhausted and nauseous from the amount of blood I lost.

I remember seeing my arm completely covered in my blood and it felt satisfying, like I wanted to sleep. I've been properly educated on the dangers though and managed to stay clear of it.

I hope one day you won't need to cut yourself anymore, I'm not sure if you're attempting to quit or not. I just wish your pain would ease up to the point you don't need to resort to it.

No thoughts about quitting. Sometimes I do go several days without needing it, and my cuts aren't particularly deep. I'll be just fine.

 

[never mind me]

Yes, I've been doing it for more than half of my life now and I don't think that I will ever stop. And you know what I'm fine with it, it's my body and I can and will continue to do whatever I like to my body.

 

[marshmallowfluff]

i have been for over 10 years. it might not be a problem but my arms stomach and legs are permanently disfigured/scarred. it's impossible to hide. i've gotten tattoos to cover the scars and then cut over the tattoos. i do it for every reason you can imagine... release, punishment, fun.... idk what i'm gaining from it. doctors have considered putting me on experimental medication for drug addicts because i can't stop. it's ok though.

I hear you on this one. I am scarred everywhere too and have a lot of nerve damage. I Leo don't know what I gain from it but it isn't for emotional regulation. I think it is trauma/ocd related. Are you on naltrexone?

 

[stillmirenai]

I self harm regularly. It feels like the only thing that gives me satisfaction. It's quite pleasant, actually.

 

[Reijii]

i used to then i relapsed like two days ago

 

[sana703]

I used to self-harm as a kid when my dad started being abusive towards me and my mother, stopped self harming for few years cause I didn't feel the need to, but recently got back into self harming because of my bad mental health and having nothing else to cope with