Who else is only alive bc of SI?

[antilife]

I am only still here because of SI. I lost all hope in all kinds of therapy or whatever. You can't fix something unfixable.
What about you?

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I suffer from persistent, untreatable depression. Nothing works.
I'm planning on jumping. That way I can't possibly back out once I go over the edge.

 

[antilife]

I suffer from persistent, untreatable depression. Nothing works.
I'm planning on jumping. That way I can't possibly back out once I go over the edge.

My depression is also permanent. My suicidality now too.
I tried jumping, it was my very first attempt. but it didn't work out because of SI. I tried to climb over the edge of a balcony, also tried running towards it to jump. I tried many times to do it but SI won't let me. It's horrible. I wonder how people manage it. Have you tried a method already or are you contemplating? How long have you been feeling suicidal?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I haven't really tried yet. The closest I came to CTB was when I created my account here, gathering all my materials (CO) but I didn't go any further. I don't consider this a real attempt. I stopped before SI really could make trouble. I'm still here because of other reasons.

 

[antilife]

I haven't really tried yet. The closest I came to CTB was when I created my account here, gathering all my materials (CO) but I didn't go any further. I don't consider this a real attempt. I stopped before SI really could make trouble. I'm still here because of other reasons.

Got you. I'm in the process of gathering all materials for scba nitrogen method. Hope that SI won't kick in with this method or at least not as hard. Other people are still a reason to live for me too but unfortunately not enough reason. Have you tried some kind of recovery?

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

My depression is also permanent. My suicidality now too.
I tried jumping, it was my very first attempt. but it didn't work out because of SI. I tried to climb over the edge of a balcony, also tried running towards it to jump. I tried many times to do it but SI won't let me. It's horrible. I wonder how people manage it. Have you tried a method already or are you contemplating? How long have you been feeling suicidal?

Began suffering from clinical depression aged 7, so been suicidal for a long time now, yet thesedays I'm 100% sure that I want to die, and I don't even want to get better.
I am thinking of beachy head, drink plenty vodka, then blindfold myself before running towards the edge.
This way I won't see it coming and chicken out.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Got you. I'm in the process of gathering all materials for scba nitrogen method. Hope that SI won't kick in with this method or at least not as hard. Other people are still a reason to live for me too but unfortunately not enough reason. Have you tried some kind of recovery?

Actually I'm not really suffering from health (MH) issues it's a big failure in life which causes financial issues and they could become even more severe in the future. So I want to prevent further suffering while rejecting becoming a min wage slave to the system.

There's only a real recovery possible for me if I have a new business idea but I don't have it since many years. All rescue attempts failed.

Did u try recovery?

 

[R_N]

This is a tough one. At times SI and being physically uncomfortable during the act did make me not go through with it.

But there are also other things. Fear, attachment to things I enjoy, thinking of close people suffering etc.

I dislike emotions and find them very flawed but at the end of the day, as long as I am alive I am still human more or less. My body still enjoys what it does.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

Attempted like 12 years ago. I can't do it again for uh I guess metaphysical reasons. Hard to explain. Weird things happened. I feel like I really cant attempt again even though I still plan and think about logistics. I feel like I'm not allowed to or something. So I pretty much just think about dying a lot and hope it happens as an accident. But I've been desperate enough lately that I'm probably just going to give in and attempt again at some point in the new few months, a year max

 

[claraisnotcarol]

My depression is also permanent. My suicidality now too.
I tried jumping, it was my very first attempt. but it didn't work out because of SI. I tried to climb over the edge of a balcony, also tried running towards it to jump. I tried many times to do it but SI won't let me. It's horrible. I wonder how people manage it. Have you tried a method already or are you contemplating? How long have you been feeling suicidal?

I can't even think about jumping because I know I would have extremely survival instincts since I have a lot of vertigo and I think I'd enter in such a state of panic, so I guess that's why it never crossed my mind.
I also have and obsession with dying "beautiful". I mean, any dead body is, but I don't want to be teared apart.

 

[Kundalini Guy]

I did not actually drink the poison but I came close to. SI made me believe I messed up the ingredients and that I would fail in some way, so I had to abort or risk permanent brain damage.

 

[borderlinee]

I'm taking my time, but I've noticed my SI has been kicking in lately, probably due to large amounts of chronic stress. I used to make up excuses, but now thinking about death just makes me panic. It's scary that no matter how much I truly want to die, I'm not actually in control of my actions.