Who do you think „suffers“ more in general after a break up? men or women?

[ctoan]

this is an important question

 

[Ashpac]

No one will be able to ever tell. Both men and women feel pain. Both suffer after a break up.

Where is this thread going? because i think its on the verge of being closed.

 

[ctoan]

No one will be able to ever tell. Both men and women feel pain. Both suffer after a break up.

Where is this thread going? because i think its on the verge of being closed.

why do you hate me?
bc i love you

 

[Ashpac]

im touched, i feel honoured by your fake love.

 

[ctoan]

im touched, i feel honoured by your fake love.

why fake?

is it so unthinkable that someone loves you?

you need to work on your confidence my friend...

sending virtual bro-hugs...full of love yet perfectly heterosexual

 

[Ashpac]

Many people love me but someone on the internet whose never met me, does not love me ... who you kidding?

 

[Neon]

Reeeeeaaalllly dependant on who cared more in the relationship as a whole, and who ended it, hence the saying "hearts never break even". Not really dependant on a gender at all honestly.

If you took a survey of everyone who's been through a breakup ever, I'm sure the male would suffer more, but the gap might not be as wide as you think.

 

[Mr2005]

The platitudes do start to reach Suicide watch levels at times. Anyway I have no problem with the thread and in my case it would be her. I want her to leave me so I can go through with it

 

[okyeah]

Just depends on who has more power or is higher in the hierarchy of life. The uglier or weaker person with less friends etc. will feel more pain

 

[wiIIow]

there is no way to answer this question, it will vary on a case-by-case basis. It's too broad, neither gender is a singular monolith. We're all individuals who experience pain differently.

 

[Morning Angel]

Gender is a construct so this question is unanswerable/pointless.

 

[Aaron Josef]

I personally think women are stronger then men, they can be more emotional/caring with there mother instincts but are really Heartless and manipulative.
I've been cheated on every relationship i have ever been in, honestly.

 

[ParamitePie]

Depends on the individuals in question and the reason the relationship fell apart to begin with. For example, if a man cheats on his girlfriend and leaves her for a different woman, she'd suffer a lot more than him. Likewise, if a man is depressed and his girlfriend leaves him because she's tired of him, he'd suffer more. Ultimately, it's a bit more complex than the sexes of the people in question.

 

[406blue]

I personally think women are stronger then men, they can be more emotional/caring with there mother instincts but are really Heartless and manipulative.
I've been cheated on every relationship i have ever been in, honestly.

Perhaps the survival instinct might be stronger in women than in men, even just because they are after all the creators of life physiologically. Some women might disagree i expect. The suicide rate is 75 percent male. This can be put down to women choosing less certain violent methods to an extent but it's a huge disparity. I remember a quote from someone that women are stronger than men and men spend much of their lives trying to convince them otherwise. In my experience with the people i know, not even myself, the women seem to have found it somehow easier to 'move on'. This could be interpreted as heartless by men. In the end, we all suffer but just in different ways and for different reasons. Also society is still stone age and men are not encouraged to express themselves emotionally. Even for this reason to answer the question of the poster, you could say that men suffer more. At least male or female, we don't suffer in silence.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Men because we can´t just find another partner to rebound with like women can. Average looking men has to work really hard to find a girlfriend but girls can just go on Tinder or ask any of their male "friends" out men can´t do that.

 

[ctoan]

https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/why-men-may-make-take-longer-get-over-their-exes-ncna799791

this confirms my thoughts

men are more likely to suffer more from a break up

people just think otherwise because socially we are determined not to show any emotions

i mean look at movies etc...you have tge cool guys who just move on and you have the emotional hurt guys who get potrayed as crybabies and losers

 

[Gainax]

its harder for men because women can get another man easily, men have a lot more difficulty finding another women

you can see this in practice, if go to a chat room and use a man name, no women will say hello to you, but if you use a women name you will be bombarded with men attention

on Tinder 20% of the men, the most attractive ones get 80% of the women attention, regular guys dont get a chance

 

[Gainax]

*brotherly hugs for all, but sisterly hugs too* But all valid points, maybe it all balances, females have historically been the more vulnerable physically, held down by the patriarchy historically, perhaps because men know these truths, and also, how men can kill over and for women they love...

I'm sorry if I sound sexist, but I still consider trans female to males female in their ability to rebound, at least the ones I were with was, it's like they're both genders then, and therefore there's this supernatural thing going on, like how the mythologies had hermaphrodites as deities (well, that is clinically different I think, but indeed interesting)

But then I remember, this last trans person, the one I am struggling to get over, seemed to genuine until I showed red flags I guess, but then again she was going behind her sort of ex's back when she came onto me, and I gave in of course... she spoke French to me and I was hooked lol

its not easy for trans women, 40% of trans people commit suicide, many trans women are murdered when the men find out they were actually kissing a trans, even on Tinder trans females have a hard time beying matched up if they reveal in their profile that they are trans

 

[ctoan]

its harder for men because women can get another man easily, men have a lot more difficulty finding another women

you can see this in practice, if go to a chat room and use a man name, no women will say hello but if you use a women name you are bombarded with men attention

on Tinder 20% of the men, the most attractive ones get 80% of the women attention, regular guys dont get a chance

well i partly agree


if you have trouble with mateing a break up will hit you more compared to a person who has a lot of options


however i cant see how a quick tinder fuck can make up for the emotional damage that comes with a break up of a grown (emotional) relationship

eg thats my tinder

does it help me in any way?

no it doesnt

its been almost 1 year and im still not over it. im still in a state of pure shock

 

[BlackDragonof1989]

its not easy for trans women, 40% of trans people commit suicide, many trans women are murdered when the men find out they were actually kissing a trans, even on Tinder trans females have a hard time beying matched up if they reveal in their profile that they are trans

I see, I am sorry for assuming they had some sort of power, above the rest of us, it's my schizophrenic disordered thinking I suppose tonight, bipolar more, as I don't hallucinate I guess *nods* I'm such a caveman sometimes *sighs*

 

[Sayo]

I really think knowing some people outside your generation or class might bring you perspective, or reading their stories. I probably shouldn't read these threads, I'm just continually mystified at the things asserted as universal reality that apply only to the most recent generation in some countries and circumstances.

The relationship mobility of women is very new. Actually, the relationship structure discussed in this thread is in many ways modern. Assigning essential gender-based characteristics to it seems misguided.

I agree with those who said those who cared the most and wanted the breakup less suffer most in almost all cases, with an addition that different parties have different things to lose aside from the romance (many fractured ongoing relationships I've seen were the product of misguided coparenting and the convenience of the domestic arrangement for both parties, and no longer requitedly romantic, but their dissolution would have resulted in other suffering).

 

[CJM]

Don't think you can say one or the other, entirely depends on who you are regardless of sex.

I let someone go not long ago to work on myself and get through shit and she was very sad, she is slowly beginning to understand but it's obvious it still hurts her quite a bit.
And today I did the good friend thing, saw a buddy of mine who just got dumped by his lady of 4 years, bought over some beers, had a chat, he is pretty gutted.

 

[ctoan]

I really think knowing some people outside your generation or class might bring you perspective, or reading their stories. I probably shouldn't read these threads, I'm just continually mystified at the things asserted as universal reality that apply only to the most recent generation in some countries and circumstances.

The relationship mobility of women is very new. Actually, the relationship structure discussed in this thread is in many ways modern. Assigning essential gender-based characteristics to it seems misguided.

I agree with those who said those who cared the most and wanted the breakup less suffer most in almost all cases, with an addition that different parties have different things to lose aside from the romance (many fractured ongoing relationships I've seen were the product of misguided coparenting and the convenience of the domestic arrangement for both parties, and no longer requitedly romantic, but their dissolution would have resulted in other suffering).

you mention some good stuff but how would it help me to know about the dating life of my grandparents? how would that put things "into perspective"?

 

[BlackDragonof1989]

Ooof I came down a bit from that last manic ragey thing and wow, I sound like a real asshole, ick >.<

 

[Trashcan]

It depends on the individual and is impossible to compare.

 

[throwaway777]

...it depends on how much u loved the other )); … i really loved him ...infinitely ... and this is one of the reason i want to ctb … but its not that it's his fault ...its my fault i thought love could save me from my suffering, but it couldnt ));

 

[BjartNO]

this is an important question

It's not.
As to who suffers more after a break up, whether or not an individual is a male or a women is the only variable I can think of that does not matter

 

[ctoan]

It's not.
As to who suffers more after a break up, whether or not an individual is a male or a women is the only variable I can think of that does not matter

this is why i wrote "in general"

and in the linked articel posted they found indeed differences that are caused by different socialisation and gender roles

 

[lostinthedream]

Aye it's a case by case basis..

 

[BjartNO]

and in the linked articel posted they found indeed differences that are caused by different socialisation and gender roles

I guess you're not very well versed in how research works.
But let me tell you it's mostly bullshit. Especially the research that ends up in shit news articles.