Discussion Which do you remember more? Compliments or Criticisms? Poll

[Forever Sleep]

I was just curious really. I imagine most people here would hold on to criticisms more. I do remember the odd, especially meaningful compliment but, it's the criticisms that haunt me over and over.

What are your experiences? Do you try to remember the kinder things and repress the unpleasant stuff? Are you ok with criticism? Even constructive criticism? I find most criticism pretty crushing although, I realise it's necessary. I definitely prefer sugar coating though.

 

[darksouls]

I was just curious really. I imagine most people here would hold on to criticisms more. I do remember the odd, especially meaningful compliment but, it's the criticisms that haunt me over and over.

What are your experiences? Do you try to remember the kinder things and repress the unpleasant stuff? Are you ok with criticism? Even constructive criticism? I find most criticism pretty crushing although, I realise it's necessary. I definitely prefer sugar coating though.

spiteful criticism haunts me

 

[NonEssential]

I'm usually very sceptical of any compliment I get.

 

[Pluto]

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I don't trust compliments, and thankfully they are extremely rare.

 

[SmilingNoMore]

Criticism stays with me like forever. I've recently been told that we should also accept compliments, or our strengths as pointed out, and then we can build on them. This makes sense because nobody is perfect, and I believe everybody has their own unique strengths and weaknesses. However, I tend to forget that and focus on the negative too much.

 

[Grog]

When it comes to compliments, I usually don't believe them because so many people around me are so superficial and insincere.

 

[whatishope]

Wow, I am the only one so far that voted compliments. To be honest, I remember all the compliments I get since I get like 5 a year. A month ago I met an old friend and he said I'm more in shape then the last time we met, and I still think about it.

 

[JesiBel]

Compliments. I'm very self-critical. I'm surprised when others find something 'good' in me.

 

[Namelesa]

For my personality and my behavior I mostly remember the criticisms except with my physical looks I mostly remember the compliments as I don't have much insecurities with that. With my actions I feel like I need to constantly beat myself up for what I do wrong or is less favorable to others so that I may provide more value to them and so they don't leave me. Often times when people give me compliments I will also probably think they aren't fully true as I think of things I have done that contradict the compliment. Also when someone who has complimented me has left I think of any positive thing they said to me as not true as they wouldn't have left me if I was such a good person. Its hard believing in what people say for these reasons as I feel like later they not going to think that as I will do something.

 

[livershapedbox]

Criticisms are honest while compliments are usually given to be nice and might be exaggerated or total lies

 

[Apathy79]

Criticism for sure. Probably by 10-1. I think I could list 50 criticisms I received more than 20 years ago virtually word for word and recall the event like I was there again and how I felt. There are a handful of compliments like that, but not many. And I'm certain I received way more compliments than criticisms.

It's like in gambling, the losses feel so much worse than the good feeling of the equivalent wins. And that emotion links them to long term memory.

 

[bleeding_heart_show]

I despise both equally.

 

[ashendreams]

i dont really get compliments on anything but my cooking. ive only ever gotten a compliment from a stranger like twice in my life. i remember compliments because theyre so rare but criticisms have a far greater impact on me emotionally. a compliment makes me feel good for an hour but criticisms still sting years later.