• UK users: Due to a formal investigation into this site by Ofcom under the UK Online Safety Act 2023, we strongly recommend using a trusted, no-logs VPN. This will help protect your privacy, bypass censorship, and maintain secure access to the site. Read the full VPN guide here.

  • Hey Guest,

    Today, OFCOM launched an official investigation into Sanctioned Suicide under the UK’s Online Safety Act. This has already made headlines across the UK.

    This is a clear and unprecedented overreach by a foreign regulator against a U.S.-based platform. We reject this interference and will be defending the site’s existence and mission.

    In addition to our public response, we are currently seeking legal representation to ensure the best possible defense in this matter. If you are a lawyer or know of one who may be able to assist, please contact us at [email protected].

    Read our statement here:

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC): 34HyDHTvEhXfPfb716EeEkEHXzqhwtow1L
    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
LimpandNumb

LimpandNumb

Student
Mar 16, 2025
101
I was listening to Numb by Linken Park and tada!
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: GlassMoon
getoutgirl

getoutgirl

<3
Mar 17, 2025
174
I had been listening to this Jason Molina's song on loop for two hours

The whole album really is one of the most sorrowful, and honest pieces of music I've listened to. The pain in this man's voice cuts like a knife. RIP
 
  • Like
Reactions: footballseason
Nobodi

Nobodi

Member
Sep 24, 2024
84
I could have sworn I read a quote somewhere where it came off like" it's better to be a nobody, for how dreadful it must be to be a somebody" not sure if that how it goes word for word but it stay stuck to me and that's why I have. I thought Sylvia Plath quoted it but I don't find anything from her saying it.
 
saturn1402

saturn1402

Take me back to the night we met
Sep 13, 2024
162
From the song Saturn - Sleeping at Last. It is the song I will listen to right before CTB. And 1402 cause it is a very important date for me (I met my ex)
 
  • Love
Reactions: Emerita
Emerita

Emerita

Cherish the Forsaken
Jan 16, 2025
48
Emerita:
'A woman retaining an honorary title held immediately before retirement'

Im retiring from life so I thought it was fitting.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: LimpandNumb
Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
1,475
I don't fully remember anymore.

Maybe it's because there was a finnish donald duck comic album named "Munaaja" and that made me think "Manaaja it is". Manaaja means an exorcist. I guess it's death or other-dimensions related. Mystical, fantasylike. Makes you think of demons and evil. But also purification and getting rid of evil and demons. A badass like Belmonts. Also religion and magic related. Kinda cool, it's related to many things. If you split it, it becomes Mana and aja which would be translated to "Drive, Mana!" as in mana in video games used for magic. Magic is best.

Munaaja was a joke title. It's Manaaja where a is changed to u. Muna means Egg (ducks lay eggs). Munata means to screw up, to botch. Munaaja means like someone who screws up, botches things. But in that title it also makes you think of someone who lays eggs and exorcises.
 
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,348
My username is actually an anagram. Though it is a bit ironic because I hate doctors and this website allows me the space to chronicle the arc I've been on.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Manaaja
Halfhourdays

Halfhourdays

"Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt."
Mar 14, 2025
625
How long the days are here in this...
 
  • Like
Reactions: footballseason
ForeverCaHa

ForeverCaHa

Heartbroken Welshman
Feb 16, 2025
428
Mine is a combination of the first two letter of the city my partner and I lived in (Cardiff) and the first two letter of his surname. Forever there, with him
 
  • Love
Reactions: blueskied_anclear and TheHolySword
CTB_random

CTB_random

Member
Dec 16, 2023
39
I got the rando part of my name from the main part of my username I use on every other site and videogame and the ctb part was because when I first logged onto the site and you see the online members some of them had it in there name so I just kinda merged them
 
TheHolySword

TheHolySword

empty heart
Nov 22, 2024
1,084
I've mentioned it on other threads but it's just an old internet identity from over a decade ago. it just feels close to home.
 
LifeIsASadist

LifeIsASadist

F you pro lifers
Oct 16, 2024
162
Life is just fucking sadistic and evil
 
Lyn

Lyn

Momentary
Mar 1, 2025
67
It's just a random combination of letters with no meaning at all.
Just like life itself.


Oh wait... That's also some sort of a meaning now lol
 
ione

ione

say whaaaaaaaaaaaat?
Mar 24, 2025
6
It's the name of an OC that's close to my heart.
 
Izzythebelle

Izzythebelle

Member
Mar 8, 2025
53
its one of three usernames I use for everything, started when I was like 9 and kept with it.
 
SomewhatLoved

SomewhatLoved

Bringing out the Dead and Searching for the Living
Apr 12, 2023
280
The song "Somewhat Damaged" by Nine Inch Nails
 
MathConspiracy

MathConspiracy

Trapped in a (prison) cell of organic molecules
Mar 25, 2025
242
Math – I absolutely despise mathematics! No, but really, I hate it.
Conspiracy – I think math was invented by the system to keep us in line. You can't make sense of the number shit? You failed your test? Say goodbye to your future.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: citrusrope and Apokryphiel
Apokryphiel

Apokryphiel

I could float here forever
Mar 23, 2025
92
You can't make sense of the number shit? You failed your test? Say goodbye to your future.
Unfortunate reality.

I like making more unique usernames with no real inherent meaning. Apokryphiel is sort of just a combination of words.
 
  • Like
Reactions: MathConspiracy
BloomingAzaleas

BloomingAzaleas

Full Bloom
Apr 13, 2023
98
A long time ago I was in psychosis and believed that eating Azaleas was the only way to wake up from this world and into the world I fell into a coma in from eating Azaleas.

Since then, Azaleas has been a symbol of suicide for me, and since I'm on this forum, one could say my Azaleas are in full bloom.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ForeverCaHa
yeahyeahyeahfan

yeahyeahyeahfan

Member
Jan 1, 2025
17
The advise was to use a username not used elsewhere, so I referenced a band I've never listened to.
 
  • Yay!
Reactions: blueskied_anclear
Anne Alias

Anne Alias

tired.
Feb 11, 2025
33
I couldn't use any of my normal usernames, so I needed an alias. An... Alias.... Anne.... A-you get it, You get the thought process, I don't need to explain it. 'Anne Alias' is an alias.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Emerita
yxmux

yxmux

👁️‍🗨️
Apr 16, 2024
139
the username store
 
  • Like
  • Yay!
Reactions: music, Anne Alias and Apokryphiel
PurpleMorality

PurpleMorality

Questioning
Mar 31, 2024
12
There's black, white, and grey morality. Often, cultures alien to humans (e.g. the fey, literal aliens, etc.) are described as having blue and orange morality.

My favorite color is purple and I'm struggling to line up my sense of morality with the real world.
There's black, white, and grey morality. Often, cultures alien to humans (e.g. the fey, literal aliens, etc.) are described as having blue and orange morality.

My favorite color is purple and I'm struggling to line up my sense of morality with the real world.
 
U

untraveler

with no precious memories
Aug 27, 2023
23
I dreamed of traveling, camping and having a good time with close friends who'd enjoy it, too. Building precious memories from adventures and intimate conversations. I haven't done that too much. I'm scared of traveling abroad, rarely have friends to go with, and I'm depressed, making it all pointless if I can't even share the joy. Therefore, a traveler, but not. Untraveler. I don't care if that's not a word. I travel mostly in my dreams.
 
bubblecat

bubblecat

Member
Nov 11, 2024
12
Don't even remember. Probably based on something I had randomly generated since I have a hard time thinking of usernames. But I do love cats.
 
Rainbow Dash

Rainbow Dash

Member
Aug 11, 2024
63
New Username: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.
Okd Username: I forgot cause I forgot my old username.
 
leloyon

leloyon

I'll see you in the Wired.
Feb 4, 2023
1,272
I've said it many times before, but Le Loyon. They were a person who enjoyed dressing in a gas mask, camouflage cloak and boiler suit and walking around the woods of Maules, Switzerland. Despite keeping to themselves and never harming anyone (one of the dreaded encounters one resident had with Le Loyon was accidentally stumbling upon Le Loyon picking flowers) they were demonised by the local community and in September of 2013, a newspaper reported on Le Loyon, repeating the town's fearmongering. Le Loyon proceeded to leave their cloak and gas mask in the forest, along with a note that they titled "Death Certificate and Testament of the Ghost of Maules" ("Ghost of Maules" being a nickname that Le Loyon was given) where they criticised the papers and the locals for demonising them, and said that they were disappearing. Some people have interpreted this as a suicide note.
I relate a lot to Le Loyon, I like their fashion sense and I myself enjoy walks in local nature, feel demonised and attacked by my local community, and while I do not dress quite the same as Le Loyon, I would if I was not aware that it would cause the same fate to fall upon me. Their note spoke to me like no other.
Dear alias Patrick du Matin, not only are you a crétin but you are mostly an assassin.

You murdered an innocuous being, which was, in his walks, a real therapy for happiness, a cerebral healing allowing him to face the responsibilities and vicissitudes of normal life, and it had!

Le Fantôme is not able to explain this happiness, but you do not seem to know Sacher-Masoch ; you would discover that it takes all kinds to make a world.

Then you are a murderer of liberties.

Listening to you, we are left in the Middle Ages, to the time of sorcerers. Why do you not raise yourself against the little toads in helmets and hoods, dressed in leather, which backfire on their dirt bikes in these same forests, offending them!

Do they take the time to pray before the little Oratory, to ask for a better world? I terrorize children, make me laugh! Why are they not terrorized by the real horrors and crimes they see on television, in the media?

Who is in charge of tuning the Tolerance button and Freedom in this society? These beautiful concepts to benefit more dealers, pimps, thieves, rapists and hooligans!

Switzerland is small, anything that does not conform to the garden gnome must be eradicated.

I thought, during those years, you would always let me be at peace, until these feelings had evolved. You give me inverse evidence, unfortunately.

Le Fantôme disappears, the risk of hunting the beast is too great. He will come back to haunt the narrow spirits of your species, because ultimately, a ghost never dies.
 

Similar threads

technicallyAlive
Replies
41
Views
973
Suicide Discussion
Phhi49
Phhi49
opheliaoveragain
Discussion CTB Song Thread
Replies
20
Views
621
Suicide Discussion
ODIFA
O
mysticatedwine
Replies
28
Views
1K
Suicide Discussion
BeijaFlor
BeijaFlor
gothbird
Replies
32
Views
1K
Suicide Discussion
belowaveragefish
belowaveragefish
Dante_
Replies
35
Views
4K
Suicide Discussion
cme-dme
cme-dme