"where have you been"

[Life_and_Death]

Anxiety. Anyone that knows anxiety probably already knows where this is going.

How come people feel the need to always ask "where have you been" or variants? Is it really necassery? You're just about ready to take a deep breath and get over your anxiety then it occurs to you you're gonna have to play the question game. Yep that's a quick way to change your mind and say fuck it.

Since I've started this new med I've been doing better. Since upping the dose to night and day I've been doing better again. But THAT question, I still can't get by. I just don't want to deal with it.

 

[Nymph]

Yeah I get asked the same thing, I usually say I've been depressed if it's a close friend or that I've been busy with school or something. It's annoying but also makes sense to ask if I haven't contacted a friend for a long time.

 

[Phill]

I see your point, I also hate this question, but I understand why people ask it. Even I make that question to some friend who I run into after a long time. I think it's a kind of social norm, something people say automatically, I don't know...

 

[timf]

If it is a repetitive situation, one can develop stock responses like "I've just returned from a trip to anxietyville", "I would like to tell you, but it is classified", (often combined with a brief dance gesture) "I spent some time with my girlfriend in Funkytown", or "I just escaped from Cloud City".

This provides your questioner with the opportunity to be satisfied with a joke answer or up the ante by insisting on an answer. There are people who may have a legitimate claim of this information such as parents, spouses, or a parole officer. However, even they can learn to ask in more polite ways.

If someone who is not entitled to know ups the ante and insists, it can be turned around by asking your own question, "why do you want to know", "Are you working for the Stasi (East German Secret Police), "Are you writing my biography", or "How would your life be better by tracking the details of mine".

 

[CoalmineCanary]

"I've been busy with my mental health issues. Thanks for understanding."

Maybe this will open positive dialogue between friends. This is my generic answer to that question.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

If President Trump has taught me anything, it's how to deny and deflect.

"I've been around. Where have you been?"