Venting Whenever I feel like it’s getting better it gets worse

[kinderbueno]

I was gonna CTB last week but then I felt unsure. I started to actually feel hopeful about the future, like I could actually do something for once but then the suicidal thoughts came back and here I am, feeling regretful that I didn't CTB earlier. It feels like a neverending cycle of suddenly feeling false hope then feeling suicidal again

 

[item]

Sorry to hear that. I going through that too often

 

[Defenestration]

same as you. Every time things get a little better, life reminds me that I'm going to have to suffer. I am reaching a point where I prefer to be in bad shape for the time to have the strength to commit suicide and not hesitate as I have done for so many years

 

[ninfanatic]

Yeah, it's a cruel trick. Eventually one catches on though.