Another day I don't know how I got through it. I feel hopeless. Like inside I've given up but some how I have kept going. Feel like I'm on borrowed time or that I'm a big failure. I can't keep taking days of sick from work but I have no idea how I can stop feeling like I want to jump of the next bridge I see. My head is exploding. It's scary that I can't see any tomorrow. Don't know how much more I can take.
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FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 42,605
I'm sorry you are suffering. I understand, I have given up on life a long time ago and I constantly feel hopeless, It is like I have already died in a way. I get that it is hard to carry on when you cannot take anymore. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.
A_miStake_of_NATURE
I wish no one had to CTB..........
- Aug 14, 2020
- 703
I absolutely understand how you feel. I feel the same. I don't understand why I should keep going, what's the point in anything, why I should keep struggling and suffering.
And I'm sorry you're feeling so stuck. You deserve much better. Why can't you take any days off? Are there any ways you can distract yourself?
And I'm sorry you're feeling so stuck. You deserve much better. Why can't you take any days off? Are there any ways you can distract yourself?
I hate that I can see tomorrow because I know it'll take me years to get the nerve again and dull the SI in order to finally commit--I see nothing except monotony and pointlessness. I hope we all can get through it somehow.
Thank you for all your responses. My heart feels like it's breaking. Why do I feel like this. It doesn't make sense in my head. I wish I had a switch to turn that hopelessness off.
i work freelance so if I take a day off i don't get paid but I also risk not getting work again. No one at work knows anything about me. Which I thought was good but now I'm struggling the pressure seems too much. So much has happened over the last few months. I had to leave my home, change my name by deed poll and all my contact details and accounts. I didn't want to let my work know because I'm new. But it feels like all the pressure and stress is snowballing and I feel Ctb is the only thing I feel comfort in. Sorry for waffling. Just feels too much.
i work freelance so if I take a day off i don't get paid but I also risk not getting work again. No one at work knows anything about me. Which I thought was good but now I'm struggling the pressure seems too much. So much has happened over the last few months. I had to leave my home, change my name by deed poll and all my contact details and accounts. I didn't want to let my work know because I'm new. But it feels like all the pressure and stress is snowballing and I feel Ctb is the only thing I feel comfort in. Sorry for waffling. Just feels too much.
I don't think I can do this much longer. I'm so tired. I feel worthless I'm nothing. Just hate this feeling. I don't want to be me
