Venting When pro-lifers react to “There is No Hope” statement

[TAW122]

It is very frustrating and infuriating that whenever those words are uttered, instead of responding and listening to what the speaker (person saying that statement) is trying to convey, they simply jump into savior mode. The pro-lifers then start to talk down the person, gaslight them, while simply ignoring whatever the person has to say or their predicament. Furthermore, the preachy, moralistic approach that pro-lifers oftenly like to do is not only unhelpful towards a person's predicament, and oftenly rather dismissive and invalidating towards the person suffering.

The last thing a person suffering and venting is to be dismissed, showered with platitudes, invalidated, gaslighted, and/or preached at. They WANT TO be heard at a minimum, and some even want answers and solutions. But instead of taking the statement at face value and ACTUALLY listening to what the person says, pro-lifers automatically tune out whatever the person is saying and immediately just respond to those four words…

Instead, in a more objective, rational, and truth response would be more along the lines of reality, grounded in facts, and actually taking the statement "There is no hope" at face value and evaluating the situation for what it is. Ironically though, when it comes to terminal illnesses, quite a few more people will come to accept such a statement to be true and not be dismissive from the start. However, when talking about other situations, most people just respond emotionally and dismissive, while ignoring the person's complaints and real context in which such a phrase is uttered.

For example, suppose person A is suffering through a personal issue (unique to person A themselves and no one else). Only A can quantify and determine how much A is going through as well as how much A is willing to try to resolve the issue. If A doesn't wish to continue suffering, gambling with life's uncertainties, coping with A's situation in life, etc., then A's wishes should be respected. However, instead of respecting A's decision and wishes, pro-lifers and normies ignore them, start to react with platitudes, dismissal of A's claims, and even goes as far as to tease, shame, and pep talk A, much to A's dismay.

I think that if pro-lifers and normies actually started to respect (which isn't likely to happen sadly) other's honest views, actually "listened" to whatever complaints and grievances they (the complainant) have, then that would be a start. Even if pro-lifers and normies don't have a solution nor answer (which is true in most cases), that would at least be better than dismissing, invalidating, showering the person with unsolicited platitudes and pep-talks. Finally, being honest with the person and telling them that they don't know or that they don't have an answer or solution.

 

[SoftWorries]

People don't respond very well to absolutist statements that they don't agree with.

Statements like "There's no hope", "I hate everything", "The world is cruel" and others create an immediate response in people who might otherwise be willing to listen. If they don't feel it's true they'll argue against it. It's something normal for people to do to keep within their stable worldview.

If things are hopeless why talk about it at all to someone who doesn't believe it to be unless you want help and support?

 

[WorthlessTrash]

They don't react well to absolutist statements just like we don't react to them saying "It will get better". The more accurate term is "Life is worth living for some, but not all", but even then pro lifers won't admit that this is indeed true. It is all or nothing for them.

 

[TAW122]

People don't respond very well to absolutist statements that they don't agree with.

Statements like "There's no hope", "I hate everything", "The world is cruel" and others create an immediate response in people who might otherwise be willing to listen. If they don't feel it's true they'll argue against it. It's something normal for people to do to keep within their stable worldview.

If things are hopeless why talk about it at all to someone who doesn't believe it to be unless you want help and support?

That's a good point, absolutism can really evoke a (strong) emotional response, especially for diametrically opposing worldviews. As for the latter part, I don't and certainly not nowadays, I just find it annoying when people react that way, but since you mentioned that absolutist statement evoke such immediate responses like that, it makes sense now.

They don't react well to absolutist statements just like we don't react to them saying "It will get better". The more accurate term is "Life is worth living for some, but not all", but even then pro lifers won't admit that this is indeed true. It is all or nothing for them.

Sadly, that is true, and perhaps some realists may accept that part, but definitely not the CTB part. Maybe subconsciously they do come to terms, but simply don't admit it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I just think that it's best not to have conversations with people like that at all, to me it's really insensitive to invalidate and dismiss other people's suffering. Those types of people are just so blinded by their privileges and delusions to the point that they are unable to have a realistic view on how awful life really is.