When mental health professionals ask you if you have suicidal ideation

[Mentalmick]

I lied when asked by my CPN yesterday when she phoned me. Suicide is more or less always on my mind. I worry that if I am honest they will try to section me.

Can't really comment on your cpn but mine never bothers when I talk about suicide and so on.

 

[Soulless Angel]

My mental health team makes a distinction between active and passive suicidal ideation.

Ive mentioned to my workers about passive suicidal ideation, but they totally looked at me as though I was dumb and changed the subject!

Speak to a health professional about feeling suicidal and risk getting locked up
Deny all knowledge and risk getting struck off the books as you are deemed as OK and can cope....

there is simply no middle ground

 

[TerminallyAlive]

"Yes, but I promise I won't do it this week."

 

[PeacefulStars]

Ah; it's so hard. I want to tell the one I currently have but feel I can't, I just deflect. The first time and only time I tried to come clean of my plans and feelings was to my old psychiatrist many years ago. I was given medication that messed me up more than helped and was immediately sent to a hospital nearby for suicide watch. The resentment in my mothers eyes, the frustration and sadness in my fathers eyes and being berated by the medical nurse and clinical psychologist for the what a terrible person I was for putting my family through this was too much. I felt alienated, abandoned and at that moment I knew that I should keep my mouth shut until I ctb. My father just died I can't have my mother get a heart attack with cops coming to the door if I tell this current psychiatrist everything. So difficult.

 

[IHaveNoName]

I've always lied because of the risk of being sectioned.

 

[FatalSystemError591]

My therapist knows as much as that I have passive ideation as a means of coping and escapism. My last session I told her I'm somewhere between ideation and intent. "I don't have a method (lie) but even if I did, every method I know is painful (lie) so I won't do it as I've had so much suffering in this world I don't want to go out a painful way (truth)." And she's been working with me about a year now. Never once has she threatened to section me because she sees the naivety in me that some part of me wants things to be different and wants to keep trying and be happy, but also taking into account that there's a part that is also dissociative and desensitized to nearly everything.

I try to think back to when I wasn't as suicidal because that way it is still in a way a truth. An old truth, but a truth nonetheless.