ManWithNoName

ManWithNoName

Enlightened
Feb 2, 2019
1,224
I've come to that realization multiple times. I just don't think it's worth it. Working hours are getting longer, wages are going down, and opportunities for self-fulfillment are disappearing. I don't see why I have to labor through all this. There is a reason why we have a suicide crisis and no one is doing anything about it.
Good point.

To sum it up in one word: globalization.

Globalization is cancer that destroys countries, cultures and families - as well enslaves us all.

I'm quite certain that back in simpler times the suicide crisis was not nearly as bad as today .
...
It has been said that one's perception is one's reality. That is to say that we filter true objective reality to a certain degree - because true objective reality is quite ugly.

Many folks tend to put a filter on to real life in a way that makes said real life prettier, better, and more tolerable. I started doing this in my teens. And a little of this IMHO is normal. To best describe this, at some point the filter slowly stopped working in increments over the years to the point where my reality became more objective. And that's when I saw my existence for what it is.
 
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KnightOfEnceladus

KnightOfEnceladus

Lost child in time
May 20, 2019
231
Age 8, when I read about the Inquisition for the first time. That combined with a bunch of Catholic hellfire and brimstone which scarred me for life, first made me depressed enough to even consider suicide, and gave me two decades of nightmares, is why, in the long run, I'm here now. I was never able to function properly after that, and things kept getting worse for me in everyday life as well.
 
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postmortem

postmortem

i'm trying.
May 30, 2019
24
It started when I was about 13. It began with sleeplessness and irritability and then escalated into hating being alive. By the time I was 17, I felt like I couldn't stand it any longer. So last year I tried to seriously attempt to CTB. Now I feel like nothing I say or do will change the way the world works and it's such a collosal mess, it's enough to make me want to end it.
 
Weems

Weems

Experienced
May 5, 2019
204
Never did, which is the really painful part.

When I was more optimistic about my life, I was more pessimistic about life in general.

Now that I've gotten serious about suicide I've come to realize that normal people don't think or act the way I do.

I think life can be very enjoyable for people who turned out better.
 
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J

justanotherday

Specialist
Jul 22, 2019
397
Not that my life wasn't flooded with shitiness before that, but as soon as I lost my home and hit the streets, that's when I realized I had lost everything and had nothing left to lose, when you are homeless you realize just how cruel and sickening this world around you is and it makes it just all too worse
Lost my nice place a year ago. I am still trying to get back on my feet in this crappy world.
 
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Baskol1

Baskol1

No life, no problems
Aug 11, 2019
1,030
Since i was little, and my parents have beaten me several times. Especially my mom, and then my dad as i got older. I will never forget how my mom kicked me as a toddler several times.
 
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J

justanotherday

Specialist
Jul 22, 2019
397
I work long hours and get paid low wages....
Since i was little, and my parents have beaten me several times. Especially my mom, and then my dad as i got older. I will never forget how my mom kicked me as a toddler several times.
I am so sorry they did that to you!
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
I realized the people who say life sucks suck when I signed up to here. What they mean is their life sucks and they make their problems everyone else's
 
Baskol1

Baskol1

No life, no problems
Aug 11, 2019
1,030
I work long hours and get paid low wages....

I am so sorry they did that to you!

They say i should forgive them, because parents make mistakes. But they never really prepared me for life. And they abused me, not as much as some parents, but still, they have beaten me several times.
 
J

justanotherday

Specialist
Jul 22, 2019
397
They say i should forgive them, because parents make mistakes. But they never really prepared me for life. And they abused me, not as much as some parents, but still, they have beaten me several times.
 
J

justanotherday

Specialist
Jul 22, 2019
397
Wow, that's a tough one.... I guess it is up to you whether to forgive them or not. They cannot tell you to do that.
 
GinaIsReady

GinaIsReady

Exit Strategist
Mar 29, 2019
995
To be fair im not exactly forgiving.
I do not blame you. Maybe you should wait until they are older and weak and vulnerable and have no say in how you treat them, then abuse them right back.
 
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Baskol1

Baskol1

No life, no problems
Aug 11, 2019
1,030
I do not blame you. Maybe you should wait until they are older and weak and vulnerable and have no say in how you treat them, then abuse them right back.

No i wont do that. Two wrongs dont make a right.
 
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GinaIsReady

GinaIsReady

Exit Strategist
Mar 29, 2019
995
No i wont do that. Two wrongs dont make a right.
Anyone who abuses (in any way) a child, animal or any type of vulnerable person (like old or sick people) is a complete piece of shit, lower than the lowest that walks on the earth. They at least deserve a good beating, in my opinion (whether you do so doesn't make a difference to me whether you do it or not).

Forgiveness is for you. I have learned that for me forgiveness was not possible until doing a lot of work with a therapist and had EMDR treatments (trauma treatments). Without the treatments, I am sure I would never have gotten to the point of forgiveness, self love, recognizing how my parents taught me to abuse and mistreat myself and begin to overcome that.

That aside, chances are very high that unless you divorce yourself from them, they'll just keep right on abusing you, and you will feel exponentially worse. Their abuse might be more subtle as you get older and their fucked-up behavior has been honed but very rarely do people like that change their stripes.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
Since i was little, and my parents have beaten me several times. Especially my mom, and then my dad as i got older. I will never forget how my mom kicked me as a toddler several times.
That was just all kinds of fucked up for them to do that to you.
 
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HGL91

HGL91

Warlock
Jul 2, 2019
720
Didn't like life that much in elementary school. But the stress in middle school, not having friends and being socially awkward made me realize that life really sucks. In high school I became interested in politics and realized that not only my life but also most of society is shit.

Right? I felt so much pain from elementary school to high school, and the only thing keeping me going was thinking how life after school would be different. It is. It's worse.

Now instead of people being mean to my face, people are kind to my face and cruel behind my back. I'd take bullying in high school any day over being reported to collections by a college that screwed me over, or getting a mark on my credit report because I was a day late paying rent by accident because I was traveling and had it on autopay which didn't work! The front desk staff at the apartment act all nice, and then you ask for help to find out who made this credit report mark and they say they'll take care of it but never do.

Adults are way worse than school bullies because they have more power over making your life hell.
 
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AlePizarnik

AlePizarnik

Member
Nov 8, 2018
95
When I was 5 I was sexually abused by a much older cousin (in fact this aunt who died was his mom)+ I saw my aunt dying of stomach cancer. I saw her just before she died, she was a living bald skeleton. I started to wonder what use this life is.
 
k3v3r

k3v3r

Member
Apr 25, 2019
97
when i "lost" the person i loved the most, (she got a new job) and i realized my whole life surrounds her and another person i really love. They're the only people i love/care about.
 
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TraumaBunny

TraumaBunny

Member
Aug 17, 2019
28
Somewhere out there in this world is a family of wild people fishing together by a lake, they live in huts and their community is governed by human love. They've lived this way for thousands of years. They don't know about us, they don't know about our wars, they don't know about our politics or our technology. They're too busy living the way nature intended to notice or even care enough to want to notice. When our civilisation inevitably collapses these people will be the last men standing, they'll continue fishing by that lake, they'll continue living in their huts and the love in their community will never die. So I don't think life sucks. I just think OUR way of life sucks.
 
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ExitTheDay

ExitTheDay

We fight to live or live to die
May 26, 2019
336
Lost my nice place a year ago. I am still trying to get back on my feet in this crappy world.
I'm very sorry about that, I emphasize that being homeless isn't something I would wish on my worst enemy, not even someone who tried to kill me... fuck I wouldn't even wish it on the devil himself, fuck homelessness and fuck living on the streets, it's nothing but pure misery. It defies the whole definition of utter shittiness, I cant gather the words as I'm sitting here typing this trying to explain just how awful it is, I've been lost for words these past 3 months but i'm slowly but surely (you will too I guarentee that) getting out of this, this pit of shit that couldn't be compared to hell, hell is a better place than living on the street, i would rather burn in hell till the end of time and the universe itself than ever try to get at least 5 minutes of sleep on a park bench ever again. I'm done, done ranting about that dumb bullshit, fuck it... homelessness If there are last words I could say to you it would be...FUCK YOU ROYALLY! :)
 
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Baskol1

Baskol1

No life, no problems
Aug 11, 2019
1,030
I'm very sorry about that, I emphasize that being homeless isn't something I would wish on my worst enemy, not even someone who tried to kill me... fuck I wouldn't even wish it on the devil himself, fuck homelessness and fuck living on the streets, it's nothing but pure misery. It defies the whole definition of utter shittiness, I cant gather the words as I'm sitting here typing this trying to explain just how awful it is, I've been lost for words these past 3 months but i'm slowly but surely (you will too I guarentee that) getting out of this, this pit of shit that couldn't be compared to hell, hell is a better place than living on the street, i would rather burn in hell till the end of time and the universe itself than ever try to get at least 5 minutes of sleep on a park bench ever again. I'm done, done ranting about that dumb bullshit, fuck it... homelessness If there are last words I could say to you it would be...FUCK YOU ROYALLY! :)

Im sure there are eben worse things than homelessness, but yes its bad.
 
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Ness

Ness

They/Them pronouns, please
Aug 28, 2019
248
Most of my family, relatives and their friends and associates get drunk at least every weekend, I used to think that was normal and that alcohol is a big part of life for everyone. Even if it meant physical arguments, threats, loud shouting and attempted beatings and strangling and no one watching batted an eye at it happening. No one getting up to stop it, just sitting there and letting it happen. Because it's normal. I thought it was before I moved out the first time to go to school elsewhere and figured out that not all drunks are violent or rude.

It was at around the same time I learned that the grandma who actually did give a shit about me (the other one didn't like me and treated me as such when I was a kid and then she went and died before I could figure out what a shit person she was) and wanted me in her life had cancer. I liked visiting her during weekends because if she did drink, she didn't drink much while I was there and she liked spending time with me answering radio quizes and so on. I really miss her.
 
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woxihuanni

woxihuanni

Illuminated
Aug 19, 2019
3,299
4 years old. Remember the moment.
 
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I

iStatus

New Member
Sep 3, 2019
2
When I got diagnosed with bipolar and realized I'd never be able to hold a job or stop embarrassing myself during hypomania for as long as I live.
 
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catharticEscapism

catharticEscapism

Member
Aug 31, 2019
46
You know, I'm not exactly sure when it first came about. It was subtle in the beginning. It was there, like a looming threat, but I was still capable of motivation and happiness. I still had friends at 16 even though depression was eyeballing me for a new challenge. As the years passed, it became worse. It's funny because I used to see the world in vivid technicolor, but now it's all shades of gray and one day it'll be black and white. I keep telling myself that it can't get any worse than this, but you know it lives to surprise me.
 

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