D

Daystavro

Experienced
Oct 15, 2018
269
For me it was when I started middle school back in 2004.
I am 26 now.
I had no friends and I was bullied.
It has been a downhill ride ever since.
With life getting worse and worse.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
At birth
 
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TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Visionary
Aug 27, 2018
2,999
Age 13 when my first girlfriend ever fucked another guy I also got depression shortly after which I would have till about age 20.

and at age 17 I realized my social life was officially over.
 
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S

Schopenhauer

Enlightened
Oct 3, 2018
1,133
I think the first inklings came when I was 13 or thereabouts. Took me another 5 years to articulate it coherently, though.
 
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sadsoul

sadsoul

Alive and unwell
Sep 9, 2018
440
Didn't like life that much in elementary school. But the stress in middle school, not having friends and being socially awkward made me realize that life really sucks. In high school I became interested in politics and realized that not only my life but also most of society is shit.
 
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R

Roph

Specialist
Sep 24, 2018
355
Just after birth
 
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Deafsn0w

Deafsn0w

I will buy you a dog if you like my posts
Sep 4, 2018
2,488
in the womb
 
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sadsoul

sadsoul

Alive and unwell
Sep 9, 2018
440
in the womb
Oh god yeah the womb was shitty. I also didn't like competing with all the other guys and gals in my father's magic wand. I can't believe I won the race, what did I think?
 
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V

Virgo

Arcanist
Oct 3, 2018
497
I never had a positive view on life.
 
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A

Armadillo

Experienced
Oct 24, 2018
224
I guess I could say that my life started going downhill at a pretty young age but it wasn't complete shit until I was 16 years old. That's the age at wich I really started thinking critically about reality, my mentality changed, started being interested in new fields of knowledge (for example philosophy) and really began thinking about suicide.
The tought of death crossed my mind since I was a child but it was only hypothetical, like "I'd rather die than becoming a vegetable/going blind/doing some extremely embarassing shit and having to live with it" (might sound stupid, but I repeat it: I was only a child).

At age 10-12 realized I hated my parents (now i know that hate was and is justified) and thought that one day I'd just live my life without them and everything would turn out to be ok.

At an even younger age I realized I hated myself for not being good enough... no matter the situation. It didn't matter if I was the kid with the best grades in class, the most responsible etc., still not good enough... don't know why I felt that way.

Still remember the first year of kindergarten... I didn't say a single word because anxiety was killing me and I constantly thought about what other people would think of me.

Well I guess I was fucked from the beginning but to answer the question I thought my life was worth living 'till 16.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
Oh god yeah the womb was shitty. I also didn't like competing with all the other guys and gals in my father's magic wand. I can't believe I won the race, what did I think?

Yep, you just had to be the fastest car in the Sperm Donor 500 didn't you?
 
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sadsoul

sadsoul

Alive and unwell
Sep 9, 2018
440
Yep, you just had to be the fastest car in the Sperm Donor 500 didn't you?
Lol I bet they manipulated my car because I was annoying them
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
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sadsoul

sadsoul

Alive and unwell
Sep 9, 2018
440
They souped it up and filled it with NOS!
Those silly little sperm friends, nitrous oxide is for ctb, not for impregnating someone smh
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
Those silly little sperm friends, nitrous oxide is for ctb, not for impregnating someone smh

Lmao did they at least give you the checkered flag?
 
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C

Circles

Visionary
Sep 3, 2018
2,297
As far as being consciously aware it was when my dad died and I got infected by a rare disease around 9 years old. Before I 'woke up' from my childhood slumber I'd say when I was bullied for being quiet, having glasses, being made fun of because I was in a speech impairment class, bullied by my brother who didn't like that I was born, etc. I don't know why anyone likes childhood, sure it was care free but you had no control over what happens to you. You're just a vulnerable suicidal little shit.
 
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sadsoul

sadsoul

Alive and unwell
Sep 9, 2018
440
Lmao did they at least give you the checkered flag?
They gave me almost 18 years on a planet populated by weird monkeys. But no flag. And no trophy. Real life ain't no Mario Kart :(
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
They gave me almost 18 years on a planet populated by weird monkeys. But no flag. And no trophy. Real life ain't no Mario Kart :(

Those bastards... No checkered flag for your win?? If life was mario Kart, I'd be having to much fun to ctb.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,813
I realized that life sucked when I entered adolescence and in middle school. I had the thought that death would be relief as life ahead only seemed to suck and hardly is worth sticking around for. The only reason that most of us are still around is mainly due to the stubborn, stupid thing called the survival instinct.
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
By the time I was around 2 (seriously a lot of traumatic events happened that year and I remember a lot of them). Of course I couldn't articulate concepts at the time but I knew I was in distress. My childhood, teenage years, and adulthood was shitty. I still had hope that things could get better until my early 20s. Then it dawned on me - life inherently sucks! Then I tried to make it less sucky just for it to be more so.
 
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wanttodie

wanttodie

Enlightened
Apr 19, 2018
1,802
about 30 years a go
 
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bugfriendly

bugfriendly

Member
Apr 14, 2019
42
When I was very young and realized parents are not supposed to hate their children.
 
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LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Apr 27, 2019
2,170
For me it was when I started middle school back in 2004.
I am 26 now.
I had no friends and I was bullied.
It has been a downhill ride ever since.
With life getting worse and worse.
I think I always knew life sucked, but I probably realized MY life sucked at about the same time as you.
 
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LifeIsNotFun

LifeIsNotFun

Mage
Jun 1, 2019
530
When I was very young, but it got gradually worse as I aged. As the years pass, I realize this world is a fucking joke.
 
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Conflicted Cat

Conflicted Cat

Experienced
May 23, 2019
256
In my mid teens when I realized, that most people in this world are jerks, and after finishing school we are expected to be slaves working for the rest of our lives in order to "live".
 
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TheFinalCountdown

TheFinalCountdown

Student
Mar 25, 2019
136
I've always known on some level
 
magick'sgone

magick'sgone

And so on it goes....
May 16, 2019
125
I thought it did until a couple of years ago, then I realised it can actually be a fucking amazing experience. But it's too late because I've irreparably fucked up my physical form. It would be easier if i could blame my upbringing, parents, random mental health issue, poverty, etc etc. That's not an option, because it's all been my fault. I squandered a fantastic opportunity. Why did it take me decades to realise it? Because I'm a twat, that's why.
 
ExitTheDay

ExitTheDay

We fight to live or live to die
May 26, 2019
336
Not that my life wasn't flooded with shitiness before that, but as soon as I lost my home and hit the streets, that's when I realized I had lost everything and had nothing left to lose, when you are homeless you realize just how cruel and sickening this world around you is and it makes it just all too worse
 
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SinisterKid

SinisterKid

Visionary
Jun 1, 2019
2,113
The first time I remember having any idea that this life was not what I expected was one Christmas when I woke to find my dad putting my presents at the foot of my bed. I think I was 4 or 5 at the time.

Then my parents divorced and I ended up with the step father from hell so I went to live with my old man only to find out he was in fact worse, so I ended up in the care system. That's when I knew life could get really shitty.

Then I found drink and drugs and spent 3 sweet years in oblivion. Probably the most fun a person can have and not remember a damned thing about it. That's when I knew I was probably on a way way ticket.

Then the shit really hit the fan and I made my 1st attempt at catching that bus. That's when I knew for sure that the ticket was definitely only one way.

So there ya go, a brief history of times when I discovered just what was in store.
 
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Crystal Labeija

Crystal Labeija

Experienced
Jun 3, 2019
216
I've come to that realization multiple times. I just don't think it's worth it. Working hours are getting longer, wages are going down, and opportunities for self-fulfillment are disappearing. I don't see why I have to labor through all this. There is a reason why we have a suicide crisis and no one is doing anything about it.
 
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