Discussion When did you first start considering suicide?

[Circles]

9-10 years old when I got deathly ill with a rare disease and my dad died.

 

[maccybobo]

I guess i always been suicidal When things went Down for me, but my thiughts got more serious about 2 years ago? After huge fight with my mom which lead to my first cutting

 

[Cold]

Some time around 15 or 16 years old, about ten years ago.

 

[Thisisme373]

I had suicidle thoughts from the age of about 13-14, I thought about trying to overdose of paracetamols lol what an idiot.
I was depressed anxious from 15-24 but not suicidle.
I then got stronger and was fine from like 24-27 (not very long I know)
I then got very heavy severe depression from 27-29, tried to ctb, failed, recovered for a year or so now at 32 I'm back in the dumps big time looking at methods but not 100% committed to trying yet.
My life has been really shit.

 

[Volomori83]

I can't remember the exact age but I distinctly remember being in the toilet, in primary school, after getting my ass kicked (again) by a relentless bully, and imagining how easy it would be to hang myself with my belt in the toilet stall. I must have been around 9-10 years old. I sat in the cubicle through the entire lunch break practicing hanging myself.

Those feelings abated until my late teens, at University, when my flat mate died from an epileptic fit. I blamed myself for his death because I was supposed to be watching him until morning. But I fell asleep. He died through the night. I would spend days and nights for ages after that researching ways to kill myself. It was then that I settled on hanging once and for all when i finally decided it was time.

I'm in my mid-thirties now and the feeling has grown stronger and stronger. I've now made peace with my decision. I know I'm going to die sooner rather than later. The only thing preventing me now is an illogical fear of the process of dying by hanging. Once I've gathered some research and satisfy my OCD around having to know how I'm going to die (medically) step-by-step, I'm gone.

 

[Sixfeetunder]

9. It became more frequent at 12 or 13.

 

[Jon86]

Never seriously thought about it until about 10 years ago, so when I was about 22. I was depressed for a decade before it ever became an option in my mind, been suicidal ever since. I've found a new level of comfort in the suffering, whatever happens from here on out is what it is.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

I think the same age as you, First Lost and Cookiedough, 12-13. Felt so old, like id lived forever. I was my closest being starved by my aunt where my parent had sent me away at 14-15. How unlucky to recover.

Ayyyyy
On the starving part
Same though. except it was my dad
To answer your question though
I was 8. Had an "attempt" then
Another at 11-12
I'm 21 now

 

[wanttodie]

about 25 years a go

 

[Kingkelly]

When i got sick and then destroyed by a pos doctor. My GPA committed suicide so it is probably in my genes somewhere. I just want to be at peace not wake up.

 

[justabouttobedone]

I've been living with depression since I was 12, but I didn't even think about suicide until I was 18. The will to die skyrocketed at 20 after I passed English prep class and started to struggle with my nonexistent social life and financial problems.

 

[Edrudd]

First time 16 years old when I attempted with benzos and alcohol. I am not depressed now but the psych meds damaged me and I can't live like this. It's a Pitty. I wish I wasn't damaged I actually want to live but not like this

 

[StGerman]

About two years ago when I suffered a severe depression that's when I ordered N though

 

[lost.ghost]

12 years old. 18 now

 

[Rex2019]

As for me, it was when I was 13. I'm 16 now.

What about you?

When I was 17.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

Lots of us started very young to consider to kill themselves!

 

[Rex2019]

When i got sick and then destroyed by a pos doctor. My GPA committed suicide so it is probably in my genes somewhere. I just want to be at peace not wake up.

What's gpa? I'm assuming it's not grade point average here

 

[Redt2go]

What's gpa? I'm assuming it's not grade point average here

Grandpa likely

 

[Rex2019]

Grandpa likely

Oh that makes more sense

 

[elsilbon]

I was 28 when I considered jumping off an abandoned building, since that building became a common place for people to end their lives it's been guarded at the entrance for several years now, I didn't have the guts to find a way in let alone actually jump. I made the mistake of talking about it with my family, I ended up in a mental institution (third world country, it was horrible), never again.

I'm 33 now and considering partial hanging.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

I'm 33 now and considering partial hanging.

I'm too interested in partial hanging.

 

[Meretlein]

17 years old.

 

[Eren]

When I was 17-18, 24 now

 

[TheGoodGuy]

The beginning of being 14 years old.

 

[DrownedOctopus]

I don't remember what age it was exactly I started thinking about ending my own life, but I do remember being obsessed with death and wanting to be dead as young as 5.
It wasn't until years later, though, that I thought of killing myself. Might have been 8 or 9.

 

[iiii5555]

I can't remember ever being non-suicidal.

 

[SMarie1204]

13. Tried and failed at 14. 15 years later and nothing has changed.

 

[Maximoo]

I was 11 when I first started feeling depressed and having suicidal thoughts. I actually went to a therapist once but I didn't go back there just because I was too lazy. I keep wondering how different my life could've turned out if I had just kept going to therapy back when it all started. Now it feels like it's too late for me, like I'm too deep in the depression to ever be able to get back up again

 

[Edge]

I was 13/14, I felt already like I was a failure and the thought popped into my head 'I could just kill myself'. It was almost comforting in a strange way that whatever happened I could have some kind of out should I choose to. I'm 23 now and feel close to being ready

 

[namelessX8]

when i was 14. I'm 26 now.