What's your past unsuccessful CTB's?

[tvo]

I'm sorry you're in pain from that. Is that a reason for you wanting to ctb?

As for my fall, the impact was on gravel I believe (not sure though) next to the carpark I jumped from. I have no memory of the fall or any pain. Only remember going over the ledge.
I have little memory of the intensive care, too. I broke many bones, left clavicle, left shoulder, left arm, ribs, my pelvis I believe, the left foot. My arm is still being operated on. I also tore my aorta and a prosthesis was installed that my aorta is supposed to regrow around which I only learnt about recently. Luckily barely had any pain (thanks to plenty of painkillers that I hallucinated on aswell) and have no pain at all now despite it all.
By the way, technically I fell 8 stories down because I landed on a lower level below the entrance.

Yes, It is a contributing factor, but I would say for only 35%, the rest is from my early childhood experiences. Unhealed painful traumatic experiences that haunts me and keeps recreating similar violent events in my life (e.g. fatal car crash). So it's like someone who was sexually molested early in their childhood and later in their adult life find themselves having similar experiences that appear to be random: sexual harassment in their workplace, sexual abuse from their spouse, and other horrific sexual encounters I'll refrain from mentioning here, dew to their triggering nature.

The non stop mind chatter and the ongoing emotional pain vibrations that keep attracting violent events that are similar in vibrations. A feeling of being trapped in a violent loop is the main reason for my intentions to self terminate.


Your injuries are less than mine by comparison. It's interesting how it appears to be like I'm experiencing more pain than you, but then again, pain is a subjective experience.

Did this ordeal change your intentions to CTB, are you gonna focus on recovery or are you now more determined to CTB?

Deeply sorry for all the experiences you have been subjected to that led to you making that hard decision.

 

[tvo]

slit throat attempt with kitchen knife. fail.

Did you take any meds before attempting this?

What was the physical sensations after slitting your throat?

At at scale of 1 to 100, how painful was that experience?

Did you pass out at any point?


I do have the guts to attempt this (even with the aid of meds).

My next options are VSED or fet

What's FET?

I was in second grade

How old were you? if I may kindly ask

 

[hao☆]

What are your past unsuccessful CTB attempts?

I attempted to self terminate using chloroform, a surgical mask and a plastic bag. The suffocation, choking on that chemical was horrific, I was fully conscious the entire time. I was quite sick the next day from inhaling the chloroform.

My next one was with an exit bag and an over dose on benzos. I lost consciousness within seconds and remember waking up the next day with the plastic bag next to me. I believe my failure with this method was dew to not taking a strong alcohol to increase the potency of the drugs, fortunately I was out the entire process (no psychological aftermath).

1 - tried suffocation by putting a bag over my head but failed bcs dooe was unlocked and someone walked in

2 - counts as hanging?? but kind of hanged myself to the point i was fading out but was pussy and cut the rope to my neck

 

[koalahymm]

I tried to drive my car off a cliff into a deep ravine. It was an old car with no airbags and I figured not wearing seatbelts would increase the odds of dying. Unfortunately as I was pressing down on the accelerator to approach the cliff the visor/vanity mirror broke off and hit me head. It startled me and I instinctively slammed on the brakes. Someone heard the squealing of the brakes and tires and rushed over, and I didn't want someone to live with actually watching me drive off a cliff.

 

[poilala1]

Yes, It is a contributing factor, but I would say for only 35%, the rest is from my early childhood experiences. Unhealed painful traumatic experiences that haunts me and keeps recreating similar violent events in my life (e.g. fatal car crash). So it's like someone who was sexually molested early in their childhood and later in their adult life find themselves having similar experiences that appear to be random: sexual harassment in their workplace, sexual abuse from their spouse, and other horrific sexual encounters I'll refrain from mentioning here, dew to their triggering nature.

The non stop mind chatter and the ongoing emotional pain vibrations that keep attracting violent events that are similar in vibrations. A feeling of being trapped in a violent loop is the main reason for my intentions to self terminate.


Your injuries are less than mine by comparison. It's interesting how it appears to be like I'm experiencing more pain than you, but then again, pain is a subjective experience.

Did this ordeal change your intentions to CTB, are you gonna focus on recovery or are you now more determined to CTB?

Deeply sorry for all the experiences you have been subjected to that led to you making that hard decision.

I understand you've lived a painful life.

The psychiatric ward I'm at is a great help and makes me want to recover but I still relapse into suicidality that's almost chronic. I'm too anxious to live, everything seems to be a pain or a danger to me. But for the moment, I'm living. I also don't want to hurt relatives.

 

[shimmerdeath]

jumping (only 2 stories tall because i was a wimp), slitting wrists and throat

 

[tvo]

i was a wimp

Not from my perspective. Those experiences are so extremely violent that only few people would be brave enough to attempt them.

What injuries did you sustain from the fall?

I can only imagine the deep trauma you are going through.

 

[Onelegman]

I jumped from the 7th floor too.
Partial hanging
I tried to cut my neck with a razor blade
Nitrogen poisoning

As I think many will be looking for information, I will proceed:

I jumped in a hurry and did it standing up, and landed on my feet. I broke all the bones in my legs, my hip, my tailbone and crushed 2 lumbar vertebrae. Miraculously, I didn't become paralyzed. And a kidney fell out of place. Nothing stopped me from falling and I ended up on the sidewalk. I screamed when I fell because I felt as if my body was stretching, I didn't feel any pain nor did I lose consciousness, the ambulance induced a coma and I stayed that way for 15 days. During that time they cut off my right leg, now I walk with crutches because I don't have enough stump to put on a prosthesis.

There was little to say about the hanging, after 20 minutes with my head throbbing I regretted it, I called my partner and they admitted me to the psychiatric ward for 13 days.

After a false report from that couple, in prison I tried to cut my neck but I had no way of using enough force and I only managed to make superficial cuts on my neck.

With the nitrogen I did not put a bag on my head but an airtight mask, the problem was that after losing consciousness the gas cylinder moved or whatever and the pressure regulator came loose, after 2 hours I woke up. I had taken 2 mg of lorazepam and 20 mg of zolpidem to take the edge off. I cried when I realized there was no gas left. That was on April 27, on May 9 I went to the doctor because I got facial palsy (Bell's). I still don't know if it was because of the gas or the trauma of not having succeeded once again, I couldn't confess my attempt.

On Thursday I want (and I hope to be able to) lie down again, this time on my back.

jumping (only 2 stories tall because i was a wimp), slitting wrists and throat

No one who has attempted suicide can be called a coward. Dozens of people, known and unknown, have told me that you have to have a good pair for something like this.

 

[shimmerdeath]

What injuries did you sustain from the fall?

None. Sprained my arms a tiny bit only but recovered quickly.

 

[tsumihoroboshi]

Did you take any meds before attempting this?

What was the physical sensations after slitting your throat?

At at scale of 1 to 100, how painful was that experience?

Did you pass out at any point?


I do have the guts to attempt this (even with the aid of meds).

no meds since this was after my OD cocktail attempt so i was out of xanax. it wasn't deep at all so the only pain was it burning a bit because of how blunt the jagged edges on the knife were and they left very surface level scars because of the bluntness. i didn't pass out. it was embarrassingly poorly thought out.

 

[Nettles]

What are your past unsuccessful CTB attempts?

I attempted to self terminate using chloroform, a surgical mask and a plastic bag. The suffocation, choking on that chemical was horrific, I was fully conscious the entire time. I was quite sick the next day from inhaling the chloroform.

My next one was with an exit bag and an over dose on benzos. I lost consciousness within seconds and remember waking up the next day with the plastic bag next to me. I believe my failure with this method was dew to not taking a strong alcohol to increase the potency of the drugs, fortunately I was out the entire process (no psychological aftermath).

When I didn't know better I took all the benzo I had, thought I was gonna die in my sleep..long time ago, I was in my 30's, landed me in hospital at a psychiatric clinic, then new meds and so on and here I am..

 

[kneegrow_voids]

tylenol od

car crash

i only ended up breaking a few vertebrae in my spine and shoulder

 

[TheLastBoyOnEarth]

I tried to overdose on antidepressants 10 years ago. Very dumb as it's very unlikely for people to die that way. It only made my life harder as my family found out.

 

[SassyGirl52]

I tried to OD on some OTC meds but panicked after taking them and ran and told my mom. Spent two weeks in the hospital and then was sent to the mental hospital.

Several times tried to hang myself but it's not as easy as I thought it would be. Your head starts pounding horribly. I've heard of very young people doing it successfully but I just could never get through the pain. Maybe I was doing it wrong? Now I have SN. I'm just hoping I don't panic after using it.

 

[kyhoti]

Soooo many times with a handgun against my head, just couldn't make my finger move, or I chickened out. Same with opiate/alcohol cocktails (usually puked it up). Thought about a jump off a 300 foot cliff, but I found out I have a concrete fear of open heights, lol. I tried free-climbing up a rock chimney on the same cliff, but made it to the top without falling. Tried hanging when I was 12, but all I ended up doing was standing on the ladder only to be discovered and whisked away by teachers.