What’s the story behind your username?

[Remember-Me-Not]

It was the opposite of the "Forget-me-not" flower. (There is no Remember Me Not flower btw)

 

[Futile]

 

[Bedrock48]

Bedrock, not to dissimilar to "rock bottom" or any other phrases people use to describe feeling at their lowest. Been at my lowest a lot recently including when I originally made the account.

 

[Sans]

I stayed away from Undertale at first due to its fan base being less than reputable, but relented and played it in 2019 and it turned out to be one of my favorite games of all time. Sans is perhaps my most relatable character, being a skeleton (fitting since I'm dead inside) who's constantly cracking jokes and being a wise ass. He also speaks in the Comic Sans font, hence the name and why I do the same.

 

[LastFlowers]

Now that you mention it, yellow is kind of a nice word as well. How funny that we had a similar experience with the same word in two different languages.

I found the setting, thanks! All should be yellow now :)

Glad you figured it out, I got excited when I saw your name was yellow in the notification Lol

 

[Superdeterminist]

I stayed away from Undertale at first due to its fan base being less than reputable, but relented and played it in 2019 and it turned out to be one of my favorite games of all time. Sans is perhaps my most relatable character, being a skeleton (fitting since I'm dead inside) who's constantly cracking jokes and being a wise ass. He also speaks in the Comic Sans font, hence the name and why I do the same.

I've never played it but the soundtrack is absolutely fantastic, I especially like His Theme and Bonetrousle.

 

[Deadlyroses]

I love Soundgarden and Chris Cornell (RIP) is one of my favorite singers of all time.

 

[hahabye]

Before my teens, I was the happiest person many people said they knew - I used to smile all the time, was full of energy, and just LOVED laughing and making others laugh. Then laughter and jokes turned into coping/defense mechanisms. Nobody really noticed the transition though.

That's why, when creating this account, I knew that my suicide will be completely unexpected to most people. In their eyes, I'll be going from being a happy person to being dead without any intermediate stages. Thus: haha -> bye.

 

[Pookie]

When I first started learning Spanish, I simply liked the sound of the word "amarillo". I was already depressed back then. Learning Spanish eventually led to me moving to a Spanish speaking country, which I thought would either mean a new start for me or the deciding factor in my contemplation to ctb. Somehow, "amarillo" became the word that represented this situation. Spoiler alert: moving abroad didn't fix me (surprise surprise), so, albeit four years later, suicide has become the only remaining option.

Also, my username fits with my profile picture ("amarillo" means "yellow"), which is a painting by Van Gogh, who was from my country and also struggled with mental illness and ended up committing suicide.

Interesting... I learned something new today.

And the story of Van Gogh is just heartbreaking :( Sold one painting in his entire life and now that he's dead his paintings are worth millions. Typical.

 

[All Things Must Pass]

It's not always gonna be this grey.

 

[Pookie]

That's funny! Pookie is quite a funny name. Hidden Base is the name of one of the stages in the game Sonic Adventure 2 which was a game I spent countless hours time playing in my childhood, and relish the memories to this day (it also has a wicked soundtrack). My old username Manoban was referring to the kpop idol Lisa Manoban who I crushed on intensely (and still do!).

I just wish Pookie had some meaning.

I Googled Manoban - very pretty.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Quite simple for me. It means to avoid living a long and drawn out life suffering more and more each year as my mind and body deteriorate due to age. On a more metaphorical level, it means to avoid the slow and ugly descent into madness I suffer everyday due to living a harsh and trauma filled life.

 

[Pookie]

The name came from my fav song by purity ring. the video for it is disturbing (showing ppl in traumatic situations where they react in a stoic manner) and the meaning behind the lyrics are even more disturbing (song about two kids who murder their abusive father). but the lyrics in general are pretty and so is the name. Which I'm guessing is a word which means laughing and crying combined in one word. Purity ring likes to make up song titles by combining words.

Header title is obedear which means 'oh but dear'.

I listened to it. I like.

I love Soundgarden and Chris Cornell (RIP) is one of my favorite singers of all time.

Talented, loaded, good looking... Chris Cornell seemingly had it all. Goes to show that depression doesn't discriminate.

A user on here actually got angry with me for saying that depression doesn't discriminate. Good riddance Amumu.

 

[Owl of Minerva]

A lesser known Boards of Canada reference.

Tomorrow's Harvest

A collaborate repository of information about Boards of Canada, including full discography, interviews, rare photos, artwork, trivia and more.

bocpages.org

The CD release of the album says "I OVERFLOW MAN" around its rim. One anagram of this is "Owl of Minerva"

My ctb soundtrack..

 

[Aloha]

Aloha is Hawaiian and means hello and goodbye.

 

[Pookie]

A lesser known Boards of Canada reference.

Tomorrow's Harvest

A collaborate repository of information about Boards of Canada, including full discography, interviews, rare photos, artwork, trivia and more.

bocpages.org

My ctb soundtrack..

Haunting and heartbreaking to know that this is what you'll be listening to when you close your eyes upon this world one final time.

Aloha is Hawaiian and means hello and goodbye.

Hello-bye!

 

[logan]

I like the Marvel X-Men films ...

 

[avoid_slow_death]

A lesser known Boards of Canada reference.

Tomorrow's Harvest

A collaborate repository of information about Boards of Canada, including full discography, interviews, rare photos, artwork, trivia and more.

bocpages.org

My ctb soundtrack..

LOVE BOC. Nice choice...

 

[happyhappyfunny]

I wanted something satirical

 

[Pookie]

I wanted something satirical

Yeah, happyhappyfunny seems quite out of place in a morbid place such as this, so you've succeeded in that.

 

[Hurt]

Scarred because the scars in my body and also in my mind.

 

[unperson]

..... I don't like names. Or trying to think of one

 

[watchingthewheels]

"Watching the Wheels" is a song by John Lennon. The lyrics have hit home for me for a good while, now, but especially moreso lately, this line particularly:

"I tell them there's no hurry, I'm just sitting here doing time."

The past four years have just felt like "doing time" before my time is up; "killing time", basically.

 

[allwasnotwell]

'All was well' is the last line of harry potter, i love harry potter and all is most definitely not well with me hence my username, its very uncool haha

 

[Weary Soul]

When I joined, it was shortly after my ex assaulted me for the last time. I was recovering from yet another severe concussion when he did this.

It broke me - my life has not been easy starting with being slapped by my father on the way home from the hospital about a week after I was born because I was crying (or so he once told me) to the final straw of the assualts that almost killed me by my ex.

I had worked so very hard to pull myself up out of other people's mud so many times in my life and was finally able to do it, only to have it all yanked out from underneath me again by my ex.

So I am weary, beyond weary of this life. I used the word "soul," not in a religious sense or in the sense that I believe that there is a soul - it is just common terminology.

In addition to my user ID I chose this particular picture because the ocean and water in general have always given me peace. And in recognition that there is beauty in life - but, for me, it is usually found in the beauty of nature and some very rare and thoughtful people I have met along the way (not physical beauty btw, but beautiful souls).

<3

 

[Anonymous_A]

My username is pretty self explanatory..but ay!..have a wild guess?.. lol

 

[Pookie]

"Watching the Wheels" is a song by John Lennon. The lyrics have hit home for me for a good while, now, but especially moreso lately, this line particularly:

"I tell them there's no hurry, I'm just sitting here doing time."

The past four years have just felt like "doing time" before my time is up, "killing time", basically.

Great lyrics and relatable.

I've posted the full lyrics just in case others would be interested in seeing them.

"People say I'm crazy
Doin' what I'm doin'
Well, they give me all kinds of warnings
To save me from ruin

When I say that I'm okay
Well, they look at me kinda strange
Surely you're not happy now
You no longer play the game

People say I'm lazy
Dreamin' my life away
Well, they give me all kinds of advice
Designed to enlighten me

When I tell them that I'm doin' fine
Watchin' shadows on the wall
Don't you miss the big time, boy?
You're no longer on the ball

I'm just sittin' here watchin' the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer ridin' on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go

People askin' questions
Lost in confusion
Well, I tell them there's no problem
Only solutions

Well, they shake their heads
And they look at me as if I've lost my mind
I tell them there's no hurry
I'm just sittin' here doin' time

I'm just sittin' here watchin' the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer ridin' on the merry-go-rounds
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go."

~ John Lennon

 

[2Min2Midnight]

2 minutes 2 midnight is in reference to the Doomsday clock and also the name of a iron maiden song I quite like.

 

[FinalDestination]

I was thinking of the final destination movies at the time lol. The franchise is kinda nostalgic for me since the first time I watched it - the third one- I was far too young and it did a number on my anxiety but I was so mesmerised. The whole film is burned into my memory

 

[Elysium Searcher]

The story behind my nick is quite short, I had no idea what nick to pick, I prefered something I've never used yet.

I really liked the word "Elysium". Partially because it's the place of eternal hapiness, where people can peacefully rest, without any suffering or desires (if allowed to enter here of course)- the place where you also don't remember anything from your past.
Also because how it sounds to me. I really like this world. Might be a bit weird I think, but yeah. In my opinion it sounds kinda relaxing.

I'm searching for such a place, it seems that there's nothing what can finally release me from my suffering, as long as I'm alive. I really wanted to believe that there may be some other means to make my problems more bearable, to feel able to do something more productive than laying on my bed for the half the day, to be released/healed from my traumas which completely shattered my life (not sure if they are exact traumas for sure).
But I think as long as I'm alive, I'll never find what I'm looking for. That's why I picked nick "Searcher of Elysium" (might not be correct in english though, I'm not sure).