Lol
nothing much.
- Jun 13, 2019
- 31
I just don't want to feel the painful pangs in my chest due to anxiety anymore, and a few other things, but this is the main reason
That is a lot of shit to have riding along on you, damn. But you are actually in college, you are doing it!! It's just a given that college is hard (for everybody) but you are doing it even with the other shit going on! You may or may not end up making whatever a lot of money is, but at least you're trying and maybe doing better than it feels you are. ? Best to you.Cerebral palsy; being gay; difficulty finishing college; realizing I can only get menial jobs and that I suck at them because I don't know how to work in the real world; the reality that I'll have to prostitute the rest of my life's time working to barely make a decent living; the real possibility that I may never attain true independence and may have to continue living a parasitic lifestyle; crippling depression; bipolar disorder with severe manic episodes with one already leading to bankruptcy at age 23; no trust in myself that I will go manic again fuck shit up even more. That's some of what I've got.
that's alot.Cerebral palsy; being gay; difficulty finishing college; realizing I can only get menial jobs and that I suck at them because I don't know how to work in the real world; the reality that I'll have to prostitute the rest of my life's time working to barely make a decent living; the real possibility that I may never attain true independence and may have to continue living a parasitic lifestyle; crippling depression; bipolar disorder with severe manic episodes with one already leading to bankruptcy at age 23; no trust in myself that I will go manic again fuck shit up even more. That's some of what I've got.
felt that. hopefully we'll find a way to cbt soon.Feelings of loneliness, self hatred and hopelessness eat away at me every second of the day. Every day something bad happens or I mess something up. Past trauma. There's just no point in going on because these are all things I can't fix and won't change.
God I hate to be "that guy", I guess you know what you want if you're here but, shit, have you tried yoga and exercise for the back? I only ask because I'm generally pretty lazy, but I have a few simple exercises and stretches I have to do for my back and if I didn't, I would be in constant agony from a shitty spine and bad posture. I don't even do it often but every time I do I just feel like, more people who suffer back problems need to know how important this is to easing back pain.Lower back issues (unoperatable) cluster headache (21h a days 2 double sided) fibromyalgie (untreatable), lonely because of my disablements it's hard to be social.
My body is mess up beyond any useful any more got arthritis in most of my joints. And the painkillers i am taking are slowly killing my kidneys and liver. I all so have heart problems due to a lack of sleep. My mind is slowly slipping away cant tell whats real and whats a wakeing dream. All my eyesight is falling sum times i can only see
In black and white odd i know . And top of that despite all that i am being forced to find work a white 45 year old Male if was in good health it bit tricky but the way i am no way hosay :|
The one were it eats away the cartilage in your joints o and i have a vertebra in the bottom of my back thats collapsing . In couple of years if i still a live going end up in a wheelchair pissing and shitting my self as i be paralysed from the waist down.what type of arthritis? shit man sounds rough
I feel for you, I'm in a similar situation. Hugs.The one were it eats away the cartilage in your joints o and i have a vertebra in the bottom of my back thats collapsing . In couple of years if i still a live going end up in a wheelchair pissing and shitting my self as i be paralysed from the waist down.
Feelings of loneliness, self hatred and hopelessness eat away at me every second of the day. Every day something bad happens or I mess something up. Past trauma. There's just no point in going on because these are all things I can't fix and won't change.
I lost the person that meant most to me, and realised the damage I'd done to them.
Life as a bottom feeder is just surviving, not living