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sickgirlzis

sickgirlzis

the most optimistic pessimist
Apr 17, 2024
66
i don't even know the point of why im alive anyway.

i don't have any friends, i despise my family (for good reason), the rest of my family doesn't really like me, I'm extremely isolated from society, I'm not good at anything, I don't want a career, and I don't even enjoy a lot of the things I like. I'm so fucked up, and I know I'll never stop being depressed since I started being so depressed so early into my life. I don't get it. I have nothing to live for.

it's hard for me to listen to people telling me to just wait until it gets better. I feel like depression has taken over my mind and it'll never undo it's hold of me. all I ever wanted in life was to have a kid, and have a safe and stable home , but I know I'm probably too fucked up to have kids, and with my shitty motivations I'll never get to have a safe or stable home. all I want to do is mooch off of other people for money, shelter, etc and it's such an awful way to live. I wish I had the courage to ctb. im not really a good person either. I just don't know why I was ever born.
 
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