What’s keeping you here?

[Gorge_5155]

These are several reasons I haven't committed suicide, but the main reason is although I'm miserable, I recognize that in a way I'm privileged, because at least I'm not disabled.

I know there are multiple reasons attempted suicides can fail and with my luck I worry I would attempt, but instead of dying quickly, I would either die slowly or become disabled and those are my biggest fears.

I had a grandparent who died slowly and gradually became more and more disabled for two years before dying, that's an awful way to go and I don't want that to happen to me.

 

[itsgone2]

I had a grandparent who died slowly and gradually became more and more disabled for two years before dying, that's an awful way to go and I don't want that to happen to me.

Even if you live life correctly, the end is still usually miserable. This experience, expensive care, dementia, what are we sticking around for? A potential nightmare at the end?

But to answer your question I'm afraid. I think many of us are. I just spent hours in a park near a gun store. Trying to work up the guts to finally make a purchase. Failed. Again. I'm heading toward a cliff anyway I wish I would take control but fear or SI or whatever is crippling.

 

[Kanoh]

Si and not wanting to bring suffering to my mother. Once she passes though I'll be leaving soon after if not before.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Fear. If I had an overdose of barbiturates I'd be gone. Today was another "buy a gun" day like @itsgone2 and I don't have the guts. I know it hurts too much but I might try to hang again.

 

[SarRy]

Family shouldn't have to bury family. Not like that anyway. But, it didn't stop me from trying before so, I guess I'm just a coward of some sort. Life isn't always bad even if disability isn't recognized. Maybe, I have some hope. Maybe, I'm afraid of ending up even worse by a failed attempt. Maybe, I know my stomach wouldn't handle it. Maybe, I pray too much.

 

[Aether_Mourner]

the fear of making mistakes

 

[sanctionedusage]

i want to join and be of use to the ALF. i have a life i'm ready to give up on; i should be able to use it to make a difference.

 

[Nemo1004]

Cowardliness and being apathetic, funny how the worse things are what keeps you alive

 

[JustBe]

Survival instinct.
Family.
Cowardise too, ngl.
And a bit of hope that it could go better. Like, you know, same mechanism as "I'll win the lottery". Yeah chances of things going better aren't 0.00%. But in my case it's probably sub-1%.

 

[TrulyNeverCertain]

Not fully prepared, Still have some more things to do before I can CTB, for both myself and anyone potentially impacted.
Slightly selfish. I want to stay, but I know it's not good for those I care about.
Maybe holding out for a better solution.
Finally, I'm just lazy.

 

[terrifiedofhumans]

The idea that one day I might find happiness living in a desert place, without having to deal with people on a daily basis.

 

[777cave]

Fear my attempt won't be successful