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What's keeping you alive?
Thread starterGonnerr
Start date
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It isn't like we can just choose to cease existing on our own terms, in fact it's so unnecessarily difficult to end our own existence. I hate how we exist in this anti-suicide society where suicide is cruelly made so inaccessible and where we cannot just have the option to easily die in peace.
Maybe silly but the thought that I'll never be able to listen to my favorite music again might be the only thing keeping me alive. I'm sure survival instinct will also be difficult to overcome when I get closer to dying.
Maybe silly but the thought that I'll never be able to listen to my favorite music again might be the only thing keeping me alive. I'm sure survival instinct will also be difficult to overcome when I get closer to dying.
I voted drugs but the answer is really vodka. I've spent the past year or so drinking almost everyday. This past week I've maybe been awake an hour or two before starting to binge drink myself to sleep and then wake up and do it it all again. I guess though the real answer is religious propaganda, and the delusional hope that maybe one day I will have something to live for. Even though it is completely unrealistic and I've passed the point in my life where I can actually achieve anything that I want to do. I'm alive solely because I'm too much of a coward to end it and I don't want to live with the consequences if I fail. Let alone permanently damage myself and have to live like that. I'm a walking embarrassment
The worry of being found too soon and becoming a vegetable or failing and surviving. But now I don't think that will be an issue since I can go deep in the woods and lessen my chances of being found. When someone finds me, I'll be a skeleton.
I voted drugs but the answer is really vodka. I've spent the past year or so drinking almost everyday. This past week I've maybe been awake an hour or two before starting to binge drink myself to sleep and then wake up and do it it all again. I guess though the real answer is religious propaganda, and the delusional hope that maybe one day I will have something to live for. Even though it is completely unrealistic and I've passed the point in my life where I can actually achieve anything that I want to do. I'm alive solely because I'm too much of a coward to end it and I don't want to live with the consequences if I fail. Let alone permanently damage myself and have to live like that. I'm a walking embarrassment
I'm just trying to prepare everything which is unfortunately very time consuming. As of right now SI doesn't seem very strong but that could change when I have access to CTB.
Lack of resolve stemming from fear of the process/failure, the stress of figuring some tricky aspects of the logistics, reluctance to give up the things I do enjoy, and general emotional inertia.
Helping people, no matter how small of a chance. Maybe something I say someday will help someone. And even trying to help others, even just something as small as a smile or laugh, also helps me. I want to at least be a distraction for someone. To be someone that people can come to for advice, or to spill their heart out to. I want to try to spread love and understanding in this cruel existence.
In a world of darkness, be a light.
Reactions:
enough of this, ropearoundatree and Gonnerr
Just my cat. I really, really want to die but I worry about my cat. My parents would take him in, but he wouldn't be looked after as well. He's so affectionate and has given me a lot of comfort over the years. I think I would CTB straight away if he died.
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