What's bothering you right now?

[RazzleDazzle]

I'm a total non-functional fuck-up and I'm tired of trying to get better. I've fucked up so many things in my life and my attempts to fix it just makes things worse. I'm crazy as hell. My brain doesn't work right. I'm unloveable as a person.

 

[Beeper]

I am grieving the loss of my 'old life'.

I miss the good times I had before my mental health deteriorated.

There were times when I enjoyed life, and now all I can think of is ending my life.

 

[cloudnone]

Love. I don't know if I know how to love properly anymore, but it's all I want to do. I just want to hold that someone and love them. But I don't know how anymore.

 

[TheHatedOne]

the fact that whenever i like or fall in love with someone it's always unreciprocated.

 

[Life sucks]

I don't know if it's exactly bothering me, but I had a long dream (in dream time) and now I'm in real world again.

 

[Emu]

My life..!!!

 

[LONE WOLF.]

This new change to the appearance of SS is bothering me, l preferred the previous one! in fact l dislike it so much l think it's time for me to leave!

 

[cambrai33]

I'm bothered that my ctb will fail, I can see from the post that the majority do at least the first time. SN would seem the most likely in chance of success but I don't know where to source it in the UK so I have to try less reliable methods and this makes me doubt things will work out as planned

it consumes my thoughts at the moment

 

[motyxia]

this fucking idiot slept, that's been pissing me off since I woke up

 

[MeltedJello]

Waiting for a perfect chance to ctb. The wait is going to be a while, and I'm scared of my survival instinct stopping me.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

The fact that I didn't think of this in my youth when I was more impulsive. Also the fact I was neglected by parents with uncomfortable topics that could have prevented me pain.

 

[stygal]

Not having anything to look forward to (except ctbing I guess)

 

[Life sucks]

The more I observe and the more I find this life is fake. I'm suffering because of the laws of physics and chemistry, whatever I do is just the result of external forces. Why should I suffer because the laws of thermodynamics are messing with my brain?

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Migraine and I'm out of meds and can't afford to buy more until my disability check in a week.

 

[motyxia]

My eyes. I got rain in my eyes hours ago. I hope I didn't get an infection.

 

[ghost_]

I just feel so alone. That's what's bothering me I guess? I just feel like everyone has left me behind and im struggling to catch up.

 

[Shadowplay]

Trying to figure out crypto currency. Seriously.

 

[Beeper]

Trying to piece my life back together after a manic episode.

During the episode I destroyed my finances, walked away from my job and got into legal troubles.

Picking up the pieces is difficult as it is, but doing so in a depressed state makes it much more difficult. CTB speaks to me during times like this.

 

[Manaaja]

I remembered what my name given by my parents means and I feel like punching a wall. Like imagine if you hated and feared tarantellas but your name was "Tarantella lover". It's so humiliating and shitty.

Imagine if you were a child of an abusive and extreme fanatical religious family, and then when you turned 18 and escaped your parents you became an atheist, but your name was still Jesus or Christian or Christina or Muhammed. Feels the same. Then (in my shitty country) you'd have to pay thousands and go through a million legal processes to get your name changed to something non-religious like Asta or Robin or Alex.

I also failed a suicide attempt recently and feel really bad about it.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

The fact that I have to be drunk to be remotely happy doesn't bother me right now because I'm drunk.

 

[Life sucks]

There is very little time, I'm doing basic stuff like eating and sleeping, etc and that alone takes much time. Then let's say I'm checking the forum and time flies, then I want to play or do something, and the day ends and the cycle continues. I don't even think the day is 24 hours, it feels way less than that. But this makes me question why I'm living anyway, it's exactly like a fast train is going to run over me.

 

[SuicideBoys93]

It seems petty but I matched with a girl on tinder, got her number, and we've been texting the past few days. She's been distant today. she did say she suffers from depression so I automatically related and we joked about our shortcomings. She's super pretty, but I don't want to seem overbearing or pressing in asking her if everything's okay. Idk if it's the fact that I told her I'd to wait and see her between my school semester and work. She doesn't live too far but I'm super busy and it'd be a 45min drive from where I live. Shame if I get ghosted.

 

[deathismymeaning]

having the f ing flu and not being able to work towards my plans for ctb bc i feel like crappy both emotionally and physically

 

[Yiyo123]

I have major depression disorder, high anxiety, psychosis and was diagnosed with autisim as an adult. I take 7 medications for my mental health comditions. I'm so tired of it.

So i'm always depress, anxious and psychotic. Every therapy session feels
like the first because I forget what I said in the previous session. Been in therapy for so many years. I'm constantly monitored by my tutor (which happens to be my wife), the feeling of loneliness is horrible (even though she is always with me).

I don't care about life whatsoever (in fact I gave up a long time ago), don't believe in happiness, can't sleep, don't eat well (been losing weight for months), don't have any friends, have a non suportive family… so what's not to hate.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Once again, like a fool, I let myself get close to someone. It was cool at first and I actually started to be a bit more optimistic about the future. I even debated the idea of canceling my CTB date. But, just like that, someone better came along and now I am simply not good enough. Story of my fucking life. I was a God damn IDIOT to put my faith in another human being yet again. This is a huge part of the reason I don't want to live anymore. People are fucking selfish and will dispose of you like trash when something better comes along. Fuck humans and fuck this world. I'm out.

 

[EliphasBlackwood]

Not being able to tie a slip knot properly. How am I this bad? Oh and the usual stuff about anxiety, depression and not being able to find work.

 

[TheHatedOne]

there are many things that bother me... firstly, the chances of failure when I'll ctb, secondly how to make it less painful for the ones i have, thirdly, how to manage coping the last few days i have because even now im hated everywhere and drinking doesnt even help anymore, i need to retreat myself before doing it.

 

[littlelungs]

I'm suffering particularly badly as I had to go out recently for a medical appointment, and I'm really suffering the consequences of doing so. As a result, I haven't been able to actually post on SS as often as I'd like to because I'm fucking suffering and my condition is even worse than it already was before, which I didn't even think was possible, due to the extreme strain of simply having to go into the world. There's no low with this illness and this body and I'm struggling like crazy to piece my thoughts to together.

And yet here I am, making a post because I'm already forced to be so isolated from the rest of the world as it is (due of all of my issues), and I'm afraid of being forgotten about on SS as well, as stupid as it might sound.

Fuck it; I'm going back to sleep.

 

[sleepisanescape]

I'm a huge fuck up which only proves my father right. I don't learn from my mistakes no matter how many times I fail.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

The unbearable prospect of my family future coping and suffering.