Discussion What would your life be like if you didn’t hate yourself?

[chloramine]

My therapist recently asked me to consider what I would do and what things might be like if I didn't hate myself and I'm curious to see what other people think within their own experiences.

Personally I don't know how much would change. I don't do or avoid doing things strictly because I hate myself, but it does add an extra layer of motivation or lack of it. Like, it can be hard for me to eat because depression and it just takes so much effort, but there is a certain satisfaction in the pain that causes because I hate myself. Part of me also wonders if I would be more likely to die if I could do it as an act of self compassion instead of it just being a collapse of "I can't do this anymore and it will ultimately benefit the people around me". It's just really hard for me to conceptualize not hating myself and it's been so long that I don't know.

 

[summers]

My therapist recently asked me to consider what I would do and what things might be like if I didn't hate myself and I'm curious to see what other people think within their own experiences.

Personally I don't know how much would change. I don't do or avoid doing things strictly because I hate myself, but it does add an extra layer of motivation or lack of it. Like, it can be hard for me to eat because depression and it just takes so much effort, but there is a certain satisfaction in the pain that causes because I hate myself. Part of me also wonders if I would be more likely to die if I could do it as an act of self compassion instead of it just being a collapse of "I can't do this anymore and it will ultimately benefit the people around me". It's just really hard for me to conceptualize not hating myself and it's been so long that I don't know.

I don't think much would change either. I still would be motivated to do pretty much what I do now.

 

[abyss]

I honestly can't imagine it, I've always been this way. Feels like the game was rigged from the start.
I suppose I would be much better able to self-actualise and actually do things I want to do instead of restricting myself and cutting myself off from everyone. But who knows.

 

[chloramine]

I don't think much would change either. I still would be motivated to do pretty much what I do now.

I can see small changes, but not a lot of large scale stuff yeah.

I honestly can't imagine it, I've always been this way. Feels like the game was rigged from the start.
I suppose I would be much better able to self-actualise and actually do things I want to do instead of restricting myself and cutting myself off from everyone. But who knows.

We can't really say for sure without experiencing it. I can see how it would be beneficial, but not how it would actually work.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I would probably feel a lot better about life. I wouldn't even be on this forum.

 

[chloramine]

I would probably feel a lot better about life. I wouldn't even be on this forum.

If I come across any strategies to help with it I'll share them here. I know it's hard and there aren't really any set ways to help it.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

If I come across any strategies to help with it I'll share them here. I know it's hard and there aren't really any set ways to help it.

Hey, that's all we can ask for on the recovery board. I am praying and wishing for everybody's success here. But yeah, it is hard. :/

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I have no idea what my life would be like if I didn't hate myself since I'm so used to it but I imagine it would feel something like this:

 

[PaperGodzilla]

Idk i feel like i would just be healthier. I'd have more sleep and be less annoyed about adult obligations like having to work. I would also have more energy to cook meals and not just eat pastas or unhealthy takeout. Not having the necesary energy to take care of myself just maintain the spiral and I don't know yet how to get out of this again

 

[ElectronicPoet]

So, so different, I really believe it. The root of so many of my problems stems from self-loathing. If I didn't hate looking in the mirror and reflect on all my words and actions daily, I think I would be way more at peace.

 

[Tired_of_myself]

I've hated myself for so long that I don't even know what it's like to live without this self-contempt.

I think if I didn't hate myself and wasn't autistic I would be successful, because I would have cared about more practical achievements and not spent my energy on just existing.

 

[Kit1]

I have always hated myself and blame myself - guilt for everything that I am not responsible for doing which is apparently normal. Despite knowing that this needs to change and knowing that life will be positively different if I do change this, I struggle to change.

 

[sserafim]

I don't hate myself, I just wish I didn't exist. Existence is a burden I never wanted in the first place. I just want to be freed from it. It brings many issues that could have been solved by just never existing in the first place. I wish I could go back in time and prevent myself from being born. Honestly I just don't like living or being alive. I don't like experiencing or living life.

 

[Neptunezz]

I think a lot of my self hatred is tied into a lot of my determination. It has gone to a point where I would hate the version of myself who doesn't hate themselves. If I were to be content with everything in life I'd probably give up a lot of things that I strive for out of pure spite and anger.

Deep down I have a deep fear of being mediocre. I want to thrive in what I like doing, I know if I didn't hate myself I'd probably let my dreams die out. To me if I let my dreams die out I'd might as well be dead