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What would you do while waiting for CTB?
Thread starterWunderkind
Start date
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What would you do in the last days of your existence or life (whoever calls it) if you already had your CTB method ready and you understood that you would soon go on a trip by bus?
Same old. Just sleep, eat and waste the day away on here. My ex from 2015 isnt talking to me atm and talking to her one last time would be the only thing on my bucket list. However, since we aren't on speaking terms, nor do we have any reason to talk, there's nothing to really do.
If I had my method ready and I was very confident that I would succeed then I would just be so incredibly relieved that it's all coming to an end and I would leave as soon as possible knowing that I will soon be free from what this existence has burdened me with. There would be no reason to wait, especially if I had N. I so wish I had some, to me there's nothing more ideal than passing away peacefully.
I would not do anything that would deviate nor compromise my plan to CTB and will keep focused. I will be sure to have everything sorted before I go through as I know it is a one way path and irreversible. This is even more important if/when I have a method in which I have only one chance to get right and not mess up (as the consequence of failure is catastrophic, not limited to being a vegetable, permanent disabilities, horrific injuries, to name a few.).
Spend a lot of time here, and think about my decision about whether I'm going to CTB.
Post about myself so that I can feel heard.
At the same time, be paranoid that if I choose not to CTB, these posts may be linked to my real identity somehow. Even if I tell my story vaguely, they can be recognized by someone who knows me well.
I want to tell my best friend and spend the time with her having aimless fun, play video games, watch shit on TV etc.
…and get fucked up.
I think I plan on getting a hotel for a few days somewhere different in the UK when it's actually time and maybe explore a bit as an anonymous person before I flick the Do Not Disturb sign and do the deed.
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