What would make you stay?

[not_a_robot]

Is there any particular event or turn of fortune that would make you want to stay?

Just security against further suffering and being able to isolate from other people would be enough to make me stay, though I would still want to CTB by myself when old age started to get too painful .

Security and Isolation could be purchased relatively cheaply, just own my own small home and end all of my associations that obligate me to interact with others. If I won a million dollars or even just half, I would engineer my life so that I never had to be in the presence of another human as long as I live. That would make me want to live, just to enjoy the peace. Although I would occasionally get the urge to just dial up random random phone numbers in the middle of the night and cackle gleefully about it to to strangers.
"HA! Can you believe it!? I'm finally free, Free, FREEEEEEEE! I never thought I could be this happy, I just had to tell someone! Now you go back to sleep! You've got to be at work early! Nighty-night!"

I would set up my life so I only ever had to speak on the phone or by text, and only ever to strangers. No familiarity.

 

[Severen]

Just security against further suffering and being able to isolate from other people would be enough to make me stay, though I would still want to CTB by myself when old age started to get too painful .

Security and Isolation could be purchased relatively cheaply, just own my own small home and end all of my associations that obligate me to interact with others. If I won a million dollars or even just half, I would engineer my life so that I never had to be in the presence of another human as long as I live. That would make me want to live, just to enjoy the peace. Although I would occasionally get the urge to just dial up random random phone numbers in the middle of the night and cackle gleefully about it to to strangers.
"HA! Can you believe it!? I'm finally free, Free, FREEEEEEEE! I never thought I could be this happy, I just had to tell someone! Now you go back to sleep! You've got to be at work early! Nighty-night!"

I would set up my life so I only ever had to speak on the phone or by text, and only ever to strangers. No familiarity.

Yes, many men have went on such a quest and were successful. But then you are completely on your own and the second you have any bad luck, you are screwed. It's always good to have at least some people who give a shit about you.

 

[not_a_robot]

Yes, many men have went on such a quest and were successful. But then you are completely on your own and the second you have any bad luck, you are screwed. It's always good to have at least some people who give a shit about you.

The people who've claimed to give a shit about me have never been anything but a source of hindrance, hassle, and misery. I'm pretty sure that my opinions on how to live my own life are precisely as I stated them, so your feeble attempt to correct them with Hallmark platitudes about "people needing people" are unnecessary and irrelevant.
Neurotypicals need people, and neurotypicals all assume that the needs of every other person on planet must be the very same as their own. It's unbelievably narrow-minded.
And it's so funny when neurotypicals talk shit about "empathy" while displaying the fact that they are congenitally incapable of considering that anyone's else's needs might be different from their own.
"Empathy" means being able to understand another person's perspective. But neurotypicals all think it just means assuming other peoples' perspective is the same as their own.


I am autistic. My needs are not the same as everybody else's. Trust me on this. I have known me for a very long time. And I have had to live it all with other people being nothing but constant pains in my ass, even more so when I actually needed their help.

Money is what puts someone's life back together when they have bad luck. People are the bad luck.

 

[JoeFailure]

Money. Not even the lottery, just like 30k or something so I could keep working but go back to school and get an education degree and teach special ed. Kills me that I found my passion but that it's too late.

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

Money. Not even the lottery, just like 30k or something so I could keep working but go back to school and get an education degree and teach special ed. Kills me that I found my passion but that it's too late.

Don't give up keep working at it if you can believe in yourself.

 

[Severen]

Money. Not even the lottery, just like 30k or something so I could keep working but go back to school and get an education degree and teach special ed. Kills me that I found my passion but that it's too late.

30K seems like a lot but it isn't... You will just have to live a very minimalistic lifestyle in order to save up for it due to the high cost of living. And with an education degree, you can teach anywhere in the world, pretty much.

 

[not_a_robot]

Don't give up keep working at it if you can believe in yourself.

I believe in him!

 

[JoeFailure]

Don't give up keep working at it if you can believe in yourself.

I appreciate that, and thank you for saying it. But too much damage has been done now. I'm almost 35 and have a couple grand in the bank. I don't have the money to go back to school and keep myself afloat and deal with the constant agony of where I am in life.

I would need a miracle at this point to make it.

30K seems like a lot but it isn't... You will just have to live a very minimalistic lifestyle in order to save up for it due to the high cost of living. And with an education degree, you can teach anywhere in the world, pretty much.

I only make 47k though as it is, saving that much even with a second job is going to take at least a couple years if not more, and I really need to build up an emergency fund as well for savings.

It's just too much. I wish I had my awakening about life a lot sooner than this.

 

[Severen]

I appreciate that, and thank you for saying it. But too much damage has been done now. I'm almost 35 and have a couple grand in the bank. I don't have the money to go back to school and keep myself afloat and deal with the constant agony of where I am in life.

I would need a miracle at this point to make it.


I only make 47k though as it is, saving that much even with a second job is going to take at least a couple years if not more, and I really need to build up an emergency fund as well for savings.

It's just too much. I wish I had my awakening about life a lot sooner than this.

Have you thought about living in a van temporarily?

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

I appreciate that, and thank you for saying it. But too much damage has been done now. I'm almost 35 and have a couple grand in the bank. I don't have the money to go back to school and keep myself afloat and deal with the constant agony of where I am in life.

I would need a miracle at this point to make it.


I only make 47k though as it is, saving that much even with a second job is going to take at least a couple years if not more, and I really need to build up an emergency fund as well for savings.

It's just too much. I wish I had my awakening about life a lot sooner than this.

Yeah, living within your means might be difficult but keep yourself self educated and remain curious about the things about the world if you live near a library don't be afraid to go there as a hobby and or to study whatever subjects they have available

 

[Imgonnadie]

Enough money where I could make enough in a reasonable amount of time to retire early and live off passive income. That would make me 99% less suicidal. Assuming a 10% return about 150k in a modest cost of living area would be enough to live off for one person especially if you keep saving

 

[Severen]

Enough money where I could make enough in a reasonable amount of time to retire early and live off passive income. That would make me 99% less suicidal. Assuming a 10% return about 150k in a modest cost of living area would be enough to live off for one person especially if you keep saving

Some guys buy property, rent it out to people and then move to a country where it is dirt cheap to live. The hard part is saving up for that property though...

 

[Imgonnadie]

Some guys buy property, rent it out to people and then move to a country where it is dirt cheap to live.

I'd seriously consider it. Portugal sounds good for the drug laws

 

[everrgreenn]

i think i'd be willing to stay if someone close to me directly told me that they needed me to live. it would just be nice to know if someone actually cared that much about me.

 

[JoeFailure]

i think i'd be willing to stay if someone close to me directly told me that they needed me to live. it would just be nice to know if someone actually cared that much about me.

I don't know you or your circumstances...but you don't seem that far off from getting what you want. Can I ask how old you are and what kinds of things you like to do and your situation?

Have you thought about living in a van temporarily?

It's still too slow of a burn to save all that. And then I'd be up against it all over again and ultimately start on an entry level teachers salary at like age 37 and still probably be broke, possibly in debt. I'm just way too far behind.

Enough money where I could make enough in a reasonable amount of time to retire early and live off passive income. That would make me 99% less suicidal. Assuming a 10% return about 150k in a modest cost of living area would be enough to live off for one person especially if you keep saving

Yeah, I really hate how many older people the world terrifies with the whole "you need $1 mil per person" for retirement. That affords you lots of travel and stuff but there are ways to live a solid retirement for considerably less.

 

[everrgreenn]

I don't know you or your circumstances...but you don't seem that far off from getting what you want. Can I ask how old you are and what kinds of things you like to do and your situation?

well i've been suicidal for most of my life, and before i thought when i did it, there would be nothing that would stop me. recently, i had a friend hang himself, and its been really hard on all my friends. even though it effected me, i still plan on killing myself. my friends are all i care about and have left at this point, and if one of them really really needed me to stay alive, i think i'd do it for them for awhile.

 

[TAW122]

Ridding my Aspergers, social anxiety, and what not is a start. Then also being able to pursue my dreams successfully and just being able to live a fulfilling and happy life on my own terms.

 

[andy69]

If my partner came back to me.

 

[riverstyx]

Being cured or having my cancer kept at bay would make me survive.

 

[that_guy2611]

if I got over social anxiety and got into a relationship with a nice girl.

 

[CelestialSky]

A magic pill to guarantee I'd never vomit for the rest of my life, or get a virus/bug/infection/disease/poisoning etc. (severe emetophobic, germabphobic & health phobic) - if only!

 

[Oblivion Lover]

Give me a billion dollars and I might stay in this cursed planet to carry out my "totally benevolent" plans. I would invest the money to gain even more money and fund a top secret project to end suffering on Earth by morally questionable means. I might even build a mansion on Antarctica for myself!

 

[jake3d]

If the goddamn pain would go away, i'd be really happy to stay. I'm not suicidal per se, just that there's no workable solution for this nerve pain.

 

[Vidar33]

A place to come home to.

 

[Ssrejisser]

If I was the way I was just over 2 years ago, before what happened to me...

 

[AtomicNewt]

Time machine.

That or the ability to always be asleep and in control of my dreams.

 

[SinisterKid]

If I thought that anything I did in the future would have a positive impact on the lives of anyone with a disability or mental health issues, then I might be persuaded to keep going. Something needs to change because the systems we live by right now simply do not work.

 

[anna-morphosis]

i kinda feel like i'm gonna sound super weird/broken saying this (guess i am lol), but the one kind of life i fantasize about at all anymore is a life where i could just be as openly miserable as i want as much as i want, and have that be more or less expected and normal rather than seen as some kind of defect that immediately needs to be cured. i think i'd be more willing to put effort into things if i just wasn't expected to somehow find a way to take it all with a smile and actually enjoy any of it. there are some things i might still have half a heart to work on, not because i'd expect them to be at all bearable for me, but rather because i imagine that something about them might lessen a certain burden for others. the only kind of life i've ever really tried to live has been the long-suffering martyr kind, i think, but that lifestyle just seems more and more absurd to me when i look at the people i'm supposedly doing it for and their endless demands for me to magically crack my anhedonia and somehow also make them a part of it, more or less regardless of my own general preferences towards contemplative solitude. i really resonate with some of what @not_a_robot said above, although what i have is less autism in the prevailing contemporary clinical sense and more the kind of structural paranoid psychosis described by lacanian psychoanalysis. i've only ever really wanted to find some way to sacrifice my life in a way that feels meaningful, because somehow appreciating it as an end in itself feels like a cruel joke designed by a metaphysical evil to make me go insane

i think also to a big extent it's less that i really would desire isolation in and of itself, and more that my temperament has it that if i don't get a certain (high, almost categorically unreasonable given the seeming emotional limits of most people) level of respect for my autonomy from the people around me, then i start to fear/hate them as persecutors in often overreactive and melodramatic ways. i think this is largely because i've been pretty seriously traumatized from a handful of experiences with people having a really serious lack of boundaries with me. it got me diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, too, though i find the usual psychiatric narratives about what that is to be pretty lacking and too muddled about causality. either way i don't really feel fit for human society when it comes down to it

 

[Midnight]

I'm going to sound like a douche but just like the similar threads before i would go with boatloads of money ... Euro-millions jackpot type of money. I would do everything i wanted AND do everything i can for everyone i care about and still have money to spare.

 

[throwaway123]

I think I'm beyond that by now.