What were you like before?

[odradek]

I was very work focused. I had a lot of responsibility so it took a lot of my attention. I think I was generally likable based on reactions I got. I was a bit reserved but way more sociable than I am now, or I could fake it at least. Now I'm just a miserable waste of a hermit.

 

[sadpinky]

Complete, she made all my worries disappear. Now I can't stop thinking of going to her.

 

[deadverysoon]

ia had very good times - i was funny, full off energy and nice to everyone. i loved to discuss to solve problems to do something with meaning for the afterworld.
i starteted volunteering for migrated people and thought about helping in a olp peoples home.

but i moved too often to get that more serious.

and that my life got worse and worse after divorce - with constant fights and money loss and lies yold about me etc.

and then i burned out - step by step- and was lessa able to be part of the society.

i had a girlfried after a brokeup which helped me very much. but what was done to me from othersides lwas too much then and so i gave up.

i know every singele person who took part in killing me and they will fave prison for driving me to suicide and ruining my life.

 

[Crazy4u]

I have been suicidal since I was 11. Before that I was a very sad child. I liked to hide from everything and everyone

 

[HYMMYH]

What were you like before you were suicidal?

Mais feliz

 

[arie]

Can't really remember what I was like before all this. Maybe I always had this depressive brain and the suicidal thoughts were just a bonus I got in high school? Tbh I can't remember a time without depression

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Robotic, apathetic, relatively cool, pretty smart, not needy. How things can change.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

It sounds like you have a skill set that would be in high demand. Also sounds like you kept those skills up to date. Do you think maybe you could find some contract/freelance work (won't use the m word), and you may be happier

It sounds like you have a skill set that would be in high demand. Also sounds like you kept those skills up to date. Do you think maybe you could find some contract/freelance work (won't use the m word), and you may be happier?

Absolutely! I would be 100% ok with that line of work!

 

[bunnies]

i wasn't anything. it's been like this for almost my entire life and i don't remember the before

 

[hopelessgirl]

happy happy happy unstoppable

 

[Jase_Carter]

No different. I have always been completely worthless since a very early age and so at 49 this life has been one long struggle. Hopefully one day I will find the courage to go ctb.

 

[Freedom Believer]

Before I graduated high school, I was happy. I didn't stress or worry about everything and I was able to do the things I love without having to stress about work, grades, and my future. Now, I barely function, my short term memory is terrible, and I'm constantly stressed and anxious. I don't feel human anymore.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Well I only became extra suicidal last year at around September 29th but I was already a member of this site at that point. I can't remember the last time I felt completely unburdened with the urge to kill myself, maybe it was before I was 12.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I use to like working my crap retail
Jobs lol. I was a lot more sociable and carefree I was still shy due to negative social experiences however I was much more talkative than I am now.

 

[ChobaniFlipSmores]

Man, great question. Someone the other day said "Where did happy, funny, thoughtful [insert my name] go?". That was the first time in a long time that I reflected on how far I've gone from the person I was.

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

Hell, I've been suicidal for over 20 years.

I'd say the main difference was that I really did take no shit from anybody. Then after I left school, everyone was all, "you have to grow up now".. by which they didn't mean "grow up", they meant take shit from 'betters'.

For whatever reason, my battered and abused brain took this really seriously and I just.. took whatever abuse came my way until I barely dare go outside anymore. And for that, I got branded lazy.

I should have gotten my anger back but I just.. didn't. I was made to feel ashamed of everything I was.

Maybe if I find me before age 17, I'll find a way out.

 

[ChobaniFlipSmores]

happy happy happy unstoppable

Me too. Sometimes I wonder why I changed so much and became the sad person I am today.

 

[Ednospatient]

Incredibly artistic.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

Before I became suicidal, I was happy and loved life, and everything it had to offer. I actually cared about my appearance, wanted to improve myself as a person, and had goals and dreams. Now I'm depressed as fuck, and think about suicide from the minute I wake up. I don't care about anything anymore. Complete 180. Life went from amazing to not worth living, real quick

 

[Painless_end]

Naive and close minded about the world

I became suicidal in 2012 when I found out that I had to start being an "adult"

That in itself wasn't the bad part.

The real horrible thing was my bad neurobiology which means I have some kind of mental deficiency that makes coping with life too difficult for me at most times.

 

[Bigredtxs907]

LOL, happy full of life.......... I had a wife and my kids by my side. i had new cars and a big house. i had the world...... she took that when she took my heart and set it on fire..............FML

 

[Dot]

Ups and downs with anxiety but adored life/planning future.

Avoid online hypnoses if have repressed trauma.

 

[JCcog]

I cared about my finances, future, health, how people perceived me. None of that matters to me anymore. Even my family, if I don't hear from them for a while... I don't even care if they're alive and small part of me hopes they're dead.

Personality, more or less the same.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

I cared about my finances, future, health, how people perceived me. None of that matters to me anymore. Even my family, if I don't hear from them for a while... I don't even care if they're alive and small part of me hopes they're dead.

Personality, more or less the same.

I feel you! Except the family part, they care about me too much. If it weren't for them I'd be gone already

 

[Sebuet]

Hopeful

 

[motyxia]

Mute. I got into danger to help others. Tried to parent my parents. I did a lot of things for others, I let them do things to me I didn't want them to do, because I thought it'd make them stop hating me. "Aggressive" they said & so forced me to take Risperidone. I've always been a crybaby coward. Art made me happy.

 

[blueclover_.]

I was the smartest kid in the whole town. Made friends with everyone, teachers loved me, i was the happiest kid.

 

[Pallf]

It's been so long that I don't even remember. Maybe I was always this way? Who knows.

 

[BrokenHopes]

I would have to go back to before the age of 5. That is before school or any trauma happend to me and I was happy and felt secure. I was not scared and enjoyed playing and talk to people. A social and happy kid. So much has happend since, I was not able to develope as I should have.

 

[feggut]

Naive and delusional