Discussion What was the worst moment/period of your life?

[chlorine]

My worst and saddest moment was being born. What's yours?

 

[lost_soul83]

My worst and saddest moment was being born. What's yours?

I'm sorry for saying this, but how can you possibly remember being born?

 

[chlorine]

I'm sorry for saying this, but how can you possibly remember being born?

I've never said you have to remember it :P
I say that being born is my worst moment only because I wish I never existed, and the source of existence as a human being is, as far as I know, birth :[

 

[lost_soul83]

I've never said you have to remember it :P

The worst moment of my life so far, and I've been through some horrific shit, was the death of my brother 6 months ago. RIP bro, I miss you terribly.

 

[chlorine]

The worst moment of my life so far, and I've been through some horrific shit, was the death of my brother 6 months ago. RIP bro, I miss you terribly.

Sorry to hear that, hope you'll find your peace someday :(

 

[lost_soul83]

Sorry to hear that, hope you'll find your peace someday :(

I hope my peace will come when I ctb and see him again :-)

 

[brighter]

Being a 6 year old and hearing my grandmother wish me dead and my mother agree. Then later, after trying to convince myself it wasn't true, realising it was.

 

[Soul]

Being a 6 year old and hearing my grandmother wish me dead and my mother agree. Then later, after trying to convince myself it wasn't true, realising it was.

Ow ow ow - that's so hard, and I know the feeling. I was an infant when my mother c'd the b and I grew up on a diet of "what a shame you weren't enough for your mother to want to go on living". That kind of thing leaves scars so deep and painful they twist your whole life up.

 

[chlorine]

Being a 6 year old and hearing my grandmother wish me dead and my mother agree. Then later, after trying to convince myself it wasn't true, realising it was.

Why would they say such a thing? no one inherently deserves to die, but we all can choose to do so, only us, no one besides ourselves :(

Ow ow ow - that's so hard, and I know the feeling. I was an infant when my mother c'd the b and I grew up on a diet of "what a shame you weren't enough for your mother to want to go on living". That kind of thing leaves scars so deep and painful they twist your whole life up.

Yeah me too, when I have (recently) discovered my birth was actually an accident. So many things make sense now.

 

[brighter]

Ow ow ow - that's so hard, and I know the feeling. I was an infant when my mother c'd the b and I grew up on a diet of "what a shame you weren't enough for your mother to want to go on living". That kind of thing leaves scars so deep and painful they twist your whole life up.

I know this won't change shit but I'm sorry you had to be hurt like this and that you lost your mother. I wish you happiness.

Why would they say such a thing?

I don't know. I resigned myself to it a long time ago. I realised that these things just happen and that not everyone is meant to be happy. Sometimes your life will be shit no matter what you do, who you are as a person or where you are.

 

[Escaper Boy]

One particular moment stands out in my memory. I think it was 3-4 years ago. I don't want to describe the exact detail, but a certain event pushed me over the edge emotionally.

At night, I simply decided to end my miserable life. I walked 1 and a half hour to the tallest bridge in my city. My mind was blank, emotionless, numb during the journey. I just moved my legs step by step. I didn't care about anything anymore.

After I reached the bridge, I looked down at the dark water below. It was the moment I felt most broken, defeated, despair. I think there were like 2 or 3 people nearby. I couldn't jump. I chickened out. In the end, I had to walk again to return, feeling even worse (not to mention exhausted). I didn't want to go back. I didn't want to see my family again. I despised them. But, I had no choice but to return.

Let's just say what was waiting at home was anything but "pleasant".

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

I'm epileptic since roughly 2006-07 Ever since it activated, my life became hell. Incidentally, that's why I found this place in the first... place...
I won't bother trying to describe it or I'll end up with a goddamn thesis here. Tldr: it's bad. Very bad.

 

[chlorine]

I'm epileptic since roughly 2006-07 Ever since it activated, my life became hell. Incidentally, that's why I found this place in the first... place...
I won't bother trying to describe it or I'll end up with a goddamn thesis here. Tldr: it's bad. Very bad.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. My family has a history of epilepsy, and my young uncle and grandad are epileptic. I know it's really horrible, but at least for my family the meds have helped a bit with the attacks. Hope you'll get better too.

 

[headinghome]

injury to ankle leaving me physically compromised and resulting in horrible depression.....never get back to my true self physically....all of you who are young and physically intact be
grateful for your bodies!!!! you all sound strong enough to heal....and also it sounds like most really don't want to die....what I mean is...you all seem to want love and acceptance and are seeking a connection...I'm
not denying your pain or desire to escape just opening a door so that you can see yourself with the ability
to walk....physically, emotionally, spiritually...there seems to at least be some hope.....wish I had my whole body....

 

[Soul]

Thank you for your kind words, brighter. I'm sorry you had to grow up with/around/inside those awful feelings. And I admire how you shine with compassion. Thank you.

 

[Olach]

My worst moment in life was when I developed anorexia and then bulimia at 20. After that I decided to end it all with ctb. I was so stupid then that I tried to kill myself with paracetamol. Than, after psych ward, I lost my job, my body and university.

 

[RRH]

I've had a lot of bad times over the years thanks to my mental illness.

One that stands out the most was the suicide of my close friend and former ctb partner last year.

I was already in a bad place at the time, but her death sent me over the edge. I ended up in hospital for about a month.

I never really grieved properly or recovered from it. I miss her a lot and think about her most days.

Her first anniversary is next month.

I hope I can see her again when I finally ctb myself.

 

[Weeping Garbage Can]

I wish i could give you all a humongous hug, I'm beyond sorry all of you had to go through such shit. sends you all my love

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. My family has a history of epilepsy, and my young uncle and grandad are epileptic. I know it's really horrible, but at least for my family the meds have helped a bit with the attacks. Hope you'll get better too.

Thank you for your support. I joined this site for research. I'm fighting for a lobecotomy (cut that shit out of my brain). If that doesn't work, it's time to climb a building and jump, or try SN. Antiemetics are scary to order @_@

 

[Broken]

realising how messed up I am and how I'm not where I should be in life. Pretty much having a breakdown!

 

[Walilamdzi]

Being hospitalised.

 

[wanttodie]

being born

 

[Roberto]

Separation of my ex wife. My heart had a pain above what I could stand. Now I think I died those days. Now I'm like a zombie. I seem to be alive, but I'm dead inside. Rotten. Without any real deep emotions.

 

[hunter_lewis]

I think some of my worst moments were loving someone from age 16-20 and him being my best friend and then finding out he didn't love me back. Then I studied at university for 5 years all in the illusion of completing my major, but did an internship and found out I wasn't suitable for the job. I had no job until age 25, where I started a new training program, that I really wanted to complete to have a good job. But THEN I got sick with severe foot pain and chronic headache, have now been housebound for a year and can barely get up so I wasn't able to complete the other program. Now I am end twenties, completely dependent on my family and friends and have no future. Some other painful moments were losing my best friends whom I had lived with for 5 years and my uncle dying, who was like a father figure to me and whom I never got to say goodbye to. Now I am depressed and racked with guilt over my ctb.

 

[weargon]

Yesterday, but who knows maybe today will top it.

 

[Robbyna]

Right now. I am in enormous debt and extreme depression. All I want is to die and each new morning is a great sadness to me.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

The past 5 years to right now. I never dreamed my life would be this way.

 

[Allpainnogain]

Right now. The past 9 months have been hell on earth with each day worse than the last

 

[JadedGray]

Once upon a time, I would have said my teens, when I had to be bullied daily at highschool, along with being suicidal and dealing with an abusive home life, but the 9 years subsequent as an adult have topped it. Having to deal with losing my health and knowing that I have suffered for nothing and that my life has gone nowhere, makes me wished I had ended it in my teens instead of thinking that things would get better after highschool.

 

[JadedGray]

The last nine months. It is unbearable.

Saturday was the worst day of my life. It was the day of lasts

The last time I had my morning routine with my parrots.
The last time I taught a class.
The last time I saw some friends.

It was by far the most emotional day of my life

Why does life have to filled with such much pain? A big hug to you. Actually a big hug to all of you

I'm sorry you're suffering too. Thank you for your kindness. A big hug to you as well. :)