Discussion What was the unfairest thing to happen in your life?

[Lara Francis]

As the title says

My husband passing away , leaving me and our boy.

 

[Psilo]

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in my life. My life is nothingness, but at least that prepared me for the nothingness coming after I die.

 

[muretax]

I've been in a rocky relationship for quite a few years. It turned out to be very toxic and I didn't realize until it was too late. I felt stuck where I was and I felt like I couldn't get out. So I began reaching out to some friends and being open about my struggle with depression on social media. An old friend messaged me to make sure I was doing okay. One thing led to another and next thing I know we are flirting back and forth. Im officially cheating on my boyfriend so the right thing to do was to come clean and leave. I was going to leave my boyfriend for this guy. I cannot explain how comfortable and happy I was with this new guy. We were so set on each other we were already planning to get our own place and to get married. That Wednesday, May 15, 2018 i was supposed to take the rest of my things out of my ex's house and I was going to start the first day of the rest of my life but instead I woke up to my phone being blown up because he ended up committing suicide the night before. I have never felt so lost and so defeated my entire life. He shot himself at 10:13pm on May 14 and didn't pass away until around 3am on May 15. 45 minutes after I last spoke to him and 20 minutes before I tried contacting him again. I thought he went to sleep, so I didn't think much of it and went to sleep myself. My birthday is May 17, I turned 22 last year and he was supposed to take me and my twin sister out to celebrate but instead I spent my birthday crying uncontrollably and wishing I was dead. My boyfriend of a few years was furious over my cheating but surprisingly he helped me mourn the death of him for as much as he could handle. I suffer from ptsd due to this incident and survivor's guilt. My life wasn't fair but it was going. After that, I sincerely believe that I do not deserve to be happy or to be in love.

I'm with the boyfriend still. We managed to heal from it and it forced us to change how we went about our relationship. We spoke about it the other day and he knows it's still hard to think and talk about. We've been a lot healthier but I can't get him out of my head and all of the what if's. Due to the trauma, I couldn't handle my management position at my job anymore. I couldn't handle being reminded of him since he used to always drop me off coffee. I started a new job so I didn't end up broke but bcus I'm so mentally fucked up, they noticed it and fired me a week later bcus I wasn't competent enough for the job. 2018, I lost everything. I have nothing left to lose now.

Judge me all you want, but this is my reality. I haven't spoken about this on here at all, it's just too much for me.

 

[Kirkscoobz]

I fell into the sea in Margate whilst eating a pasty.

 

[Memento Mori]

I've been in a rocky relationship for quite a few years. It turned out to be very toxic and I didn't realize until it was too late. I felt stuck where I was and I felt like I couldn't get out. So I began reaching out to some friends and being open about my struggle with depression on social media. An old friend messaged me to make sure I was doing okay. One thing led to another and next thing I know we are flirting back and forth. Im officially cheating on my boyfriend so the right thing to do was to come clean and leave. I was going to leave my boyfriend for this guy. I cannot explain how comfortable and happy I was with this new guy. We were so set on each other we were already planning to get our own place and to get married. That Wednesday, May 15, 2018 i was supposed to take the rest of my things out of my ex's house and I was going to start the first day of the rest of my life but instead I woke up to my phone being blown up because he ended up committing suicide the night before. I have never felt so lost and so defeated my entire life. He shot himself at 10:13pm on May 14 and didn't pass away until around 3am on May 15. 45 minutes after I last spoke to him and 20 minutes before I tried contacting him again. I thought he went to sleep, so I didn't think much of it and went to sleep myself. My birthday is May 17, I turned 22 last year and he was supposed to take me and my twin sister out to celebrate but instead I spent my birthday crying uncontrollably and wishing I was dead. My boyfriend of a few years was furious over my cheating but surprisingly he helped me mourn the death of him for as much as he could handle. I suffer from ptsd due to this incident and survivor's guilt. My life wasn't fair but it was going. After that, I sincerely believe that I do not deserve to be happy or to be in love.

I'm with the boyfriend still. We managed to heal from it and it forced us to change how we went about our relationship. We spoke about it the other day and he knows it's still hard to think and talk about. We've been a lot healthier but I can't get him out of my head and all of the what if's. Due to the trauma, I couldn't handle my management position at my job anymore. I couldn't handle being reminded of him since he used to always drop me off coffee. I started a new job so I didn't end up broke but bcus I'm so mentally fucked up, they noticed it and fired me a week later bcus I wasn't competent enough for the job. 2018, I lost everything. I have nothing left to lose now.

Judge me all you want, but this is my reality. I haven't spoken about this on here at all, it's just too much for me.

this is a hard story to swallow, i can see similarities, even though i'm the one who would have killed himself. dont know how this will go out but before i leave i want to make sure that she can somehow live with it...im sorry for you ♥


"After that, I sincerely believe that I do not deserve to be happy or to be in love." because of cheating too or only because of his death? did u tell him that u cheated on him or did you give him an edited truth? people do that, thinking that its the best way for everyone, but i would say this is even more destroying than anything else...theres a lot more about every individual case so it doesnt make sense to speak that much about it, but i'm interested in that one sentence and how you mean that.

 

[muretax]

this is a hard story to swallow, i can see similarities, even though i'm the one who would have killed himself. dont know how this will go out but before i leave i want to make sure that she can somehow live with it...im sorry for you ♥


"After that, I sincerely believe that I do not deserve to be happy or to be in love." because of cheating too or only because of his death? did u tell him that u cheated on him or did you give him an edited truth? people do that, thinking that its the best way for everyone, but i would say this is even more destroying than anything else...theres a lot more about every individual case so it doesnt make sense to speak that much about it, but i'm interested in that one sentence and how you mean that.

That's from the cheating and his death. To me, at 18 years old I fell in love with this guy who made me so happy. After a few years it turned brutally toxic and I was scared to leave and scared to do anything about it. The moment I finally gather the strength to leave this toxic relationship, I end up reconciling with an old friend that turned romantic. I believed that happened for a reason and that I was finally being blessed especially then since I finally gathered the strength to leave. I thought everything was coming together for me but it ended up being me trying to leave an abusive relationship to better myself with this new guy but then he killed himself. So I took it as, I don't deserve to be happy in love or happy or in love.

I told him the whole, unfiltered truth. He deserved to know everything. Even the fact that the day before I was actually supposed to leave but because the way the situation was going we figured it would be better to wait until the next day. He knows that I regret not putting my foot down the day before and that if I did, I would've been with him and he wouldn't have killed himself. It took him quite a few months to look at me and not see me as this fucked up person.

 

[Final Escape]

Being born into an unstable situation. Parents split early in my life and when u control for everything else it's the worst thing u can do to a kid. I guess the disadvantages are quite marked and impactful over your life course if u grow up in broken home and chaotic situation where u see repeated partner changes of your parent. Add in the poverty, lack of attention at home, you tend to get bullied more in school, 32 times more likely to suffer some form of abuse. I definitely did not have a great outcome and it's hard to want to keep living at times. Just knowing u got the shaft in life and u ruined opportunities or they were missed because u were damaged by your childhood.

 

[lululoo]

At 2 years old my twin and I had bronchial pneumonia .me being the runt was in a worse state but he died and i didnt , obviously my life would have been completely different had he lived or if i had died instead i`m sure he would have made a better job of this game we call life .... footnote i have very close to my 2 year older brother all our life and on the anniversary of my twins death a month ago i found my brother dead , apart from lose my brother and friend CTB is even harder now too as the funeral everyone was hugging me , mum ,dad sister , brothers and ones i haven't seen for years even my brothers 1st ex wife who i haven't seen for 20 years , all knowing how close i was to my brother and me finding him dead all telling me they loved me and are always there from me ..

Wow, I'm so sorry you lost your twin and your older brother. I can't even imagine.

I understand. But I think we make our lives worse when we measure things by "fair" ... unless one has a right which has been violated, there's no fair.

I don't know, I think it's complicated. For most of my life I didn't let myself think about fairness at all. I wanted to stay above being bitter. I actually think it would have been better for me if I let myself indulge in the natural emotions of being angry and sad at some of the "unfair" things in my life. Instead of bottling up, and ending up super mega bitter.

 

[Nihil]

~Never getting to really live my life as a woman and seeing my life pass on by being stuck in the closet in order to stay alive. Really hate discrimination and bigotry.
~Getting fucked over in student debt by being peer and family-pressured into going after a business degree when I've always wanted to be a scientist/engineer.
~Bullied relentlessly by some of the most cruelist, messed up people who deliberately enjoy making others suffer.
~Losing a major job opportunity with my previous partner's family business, as well as the majority of my belongings to them, due to coming out as trans. Worst breakup of my life.
~Surviving several games of Russian roulette. Seriously, how the fuck am I still alive?
~Several other things I can't think of, but yeah, I've lost count of how many times I've been dealt an unfair hand in this life.

 

[Ruffian]

To date, I would have to say my brother being taken from me 6 months ago (he was 33 years old) and my addiction to painkillers that simply stemmed from a desperate attempt to end my terribly debilitating pain. I did see a "pain management physician" for this treatment but I became addicted before I even knew what was happening. Now I'll be an addict for life and have to wrestle with it every minute of every day for the rest of my life, however long that may end up being.

Google Dr. Carl Hart. He talks a lot about meth and cocaine, but I've heard him talk about opiates occasionally. You can apply what he says about any drug. He has a refreshing take on drugs that challenges the notion that you're an addict for life and other popularly held beliefs about drugs. He has a couple of videos on You Tube as well.

 

[lost_soul83]

Google Dr. Carl Hart. He talks a lot about meth and cocaine, but I've heard him talk about opiates occasionally. You can apply what he says about any drug. He has a refreshing take on drugs that challenges the notion that you're an addict for life and other popularly held beliefs about drugs. He has a couple of videos on You Tube as well.

Thank you, I'll definitely do that.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

What was the unfairest thing to happen in your life?

I was brought into this shitty world having no say in it.

 

[noonetoo]

All the unfortunate circumstances and trauma I have been through are all as a result of my stepdad abusing me as a child. I don't think I'll ever heal. It tears me more apart today as an adult just as much as when I was forced to deal with it.
It's really unfair and it's more unfair to the millions of kids worldwide in horrible, worse situations.
I hate it even more that survivors out there have worse stories than me and I'm here, not appreciating my survival and feeling sorry for myself when I shouldn't.
I don't deserve to live.

 

[Boonks]

All the unfortunate circumstances and trauma I have been through are all as a result of my stepdad abusing me as a child. I don't think I'll ever heal. It tears me more apart today as an adult just as much as when I was forced to deal with it.
It's really unfair and it's more unfair to the millions of kids worldwide in horrible, worse situations.
I hate it even more that survivors out there have worse stories than me and I'm here, not appreciating my survival and feeling sorry for myself when I shouldn't.
I don't deserve to live.

I connect with this. My stepfather abused me as a child every day for years...and the trauma of it keeps showing up in unexpected ways years later...it's so deeply rooted...people tell me people have gone through worse and overcame it...:/

 

[Roberto]

Being made to believe I was going somewhere in life just to be dropped and left alone. Partly my fault but I don't think I deserved to be abandoned. I've had a life time of people telling me I'm not good enough and I only got in this last situation because it seemed different. Everything I gained and how I grew is now gone and I'm a shell of the person I was.

It reminds my life. It was good and bad in the past. Now I'm nothing.
I think I had many opportunities in my life, and good luck. It has treated me well. It was everything fair (nothing important). It's just that now I can't adapt to changes, without work, hurt, broken and without studies, just experience.

 

[Numbtopain97]

being born into a fucked up family

 

[Dawn0071111]

Being born

 

[Intelligent_Lobster]

My roommate/really good friend at the time bullied me into getting an apartment with her abusive boyfriend, ignored me when I tried to tell her he was being manipulative, and then left with five months left on the lease. She put me in 1000$ of dollars of debt, plus my school loans at the time.

I was homeless until my friend helped out.

 

[andy69]

Being denied teaching jobs because a woman at a community college spread lies about me.

 

[azucaramargo]

My husband passing away , leaving me and our boy.

Lara Francis, I'm so very sorry for your loss. You and your son will prevail. For what it's worth, we are here for you, and you should lean on us here in this forum. This overwhelming grief will not dominate your life forever. You are lovely and loving, and that guarantees you a future filled with joy and affection.

I've been in a rocky relationship for quite a few years. It turned out to be very toxic and I didn't realize until it was too late. I felt stuck where I was and I felt like I couldn't get out. So I began reaching out to some friends and being open about my struggle with depression on social media. An old friend messaged me to make sure I was doing okay. One thing led to another and next thing I know we are flirting back and forth. Im officially cheating on my boyfriend so the right thing to do was to come clean and leave. I was going to leave my boyfriend for this guy. I cannot explain how comfortable and happy I was with this new guy. We were so set on each other we were already planning to get our own place and to get married. That Wednesday, May 15, 2018 i was supposed to take the rest of my things out of my ex's house and I was going to start the first day of the rest of my life but instead I woke up to my phone being blown up because he ended up committing suicide the night before. I have never felt so lost and so defeated my entire life. He shot himself at 10:13pm on May 14 and didn't pass away until around 3am on May 15. 45 minutes after I last spoke to him and 20 minutes before I tried contacting him again. I thought he went to sleep, so I didn't think much of it and went to sleep myself. My birthday is May 17, I turned 22 last year and he was supposed to take me and my twin sister out to celebrate but instead I spent my birthday crying uncontrollably and wishing I was dead. My boyfriend of a few years was furious over my cheating but surprisingly he helped me mourn the death of him for as much as he could handle. I suffer from ptsd due to this incident and survivor's guilt. My life wasn't fair but it was going. After that, I sincerely believe that I do not deserve to be happy or to be in love.

I'm with the boyfriend still. We managed to heal from it and it forced us to change how we went about our relationship. We spoke about it the other day and he knows it's still hard to think and talk about. We've been a lot healthier but I can't get him out of my head and all of the what if's. Due to the trauma, I couldn't handle my management position at my job anymore. I couldn't handle being reminded of him since he used to always drop me off coffee. I started a new job so I didn't end up broke but bcus I'm so mentally fucked up, they noticed it and fired me a week later bcus I wasn't competent enough for the job. 2018, I lost everything. I have nothing left to lose now.

Judge me all you want, but this is my reality. I haven't spoken about this on here at all, it's just too much for me.

How traumatic! Thank you for sharing this. It's a harrowing tale.

 

[burnedCookie]

Being butchered by a surgeon when I was 15 following a car accident. I was left with two big scars, one of which due to his team incompetency and totally impossible to hide
The worst is that 15 years later it was confirmed that the intervention was not really necessary.

 

[epsilon]

I was born, as a gay asian male.

 

[Darkhaven]

Getting a neurological disease out of nowhere without genetic trace or explication at the early age of 21 years old.

 

[azucaramargo]

I was born, as a gay asian male.

SEXY!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Baskol1]

I was born, as a gay asian male.

Im a gay autistic european guy.

 

[azucaramargo]

Being denied teaching jobs because a woman at a community college spread lies about me.

Andy, who wants to teach? I'd rather slit my throat than teach. You will show up that vengeful whore, and have the last laugh after all.

Im a gay autistic european guy.

EQUALLY as sexy!!! Who knew Saturday morning on SS would be such an erotic experience for this hick American broad!

 

[Baskol1]

Andy, who wants to teach? I'd rather slit my throat than teach. You will show up that vengeful whore, and have the last laugh after all.

EQUALLY as sexy!!! Who knew Saturday morning on SS would be such an erotic experience for this hick American broad!

You are gay too?

 

[azucaramargo]

You are gay too?

No, I'm what's called a "fag hag."

 

[Pupuce]

Being a smart kid while doing nothing. Unfair but in my favor at least.

@azucaramargo You should calm down before we start seeing you sugar momma-ing the hell out of gay guys.

 

[Codieb1]

Being born
/thread