What type of suicidal are you?

[Un-]

There's different types. It sounds objectifying, but I don't know how to put it in the correct terms. Sorry!

I'm just tired of being lumped into one group, and having a "high risk" sticker slapped on my forehead. It's so much more than that. Not everyone can be saved. Not everyone wants to die.

 

[flightless bird]

I miss the people I've lost and I wanna die. All my dreams are dead and I can't breathe. It is impossible to live without hope. I find no familiarity in this world. There is immense longing inside me, my heart has become a black hole. My existence is a living hell. Sorry for venting...

 

[Rational man]

Interesting how a notable % want to live but for reasons, don't wish to live on. My reason is physical illness.

 

[lachrymost]

Good question. If my suffering were somehow eliminated or vastly reduced, and it was guaranteed to stay that way, I might want to live. The nature of reality would have to fundamentally change.

 

[wereqryan]

My chronic health issues have destroyed my dreams!

 

[madebrief]

Interesting how a notable % want to live but for reasons, don't wish to live on. My reason is physical illness.

Yeah! I'm surprised I'm not the only one with life being an uphill battle. Will be goood to hear from people in same position.

 

[FuneralCry]

I could never ever want to live in this world no matter what happens. I view non existence as being preferable to any kind of life, I don't see any value or benefit to existing, it's just endless misery and suffering and to me it's all so pointless. Even if I could change so many things in this world I would still want to die, I don't understand why anyone would want to stay here until old age. I have a dislike for the concept of life, I find it unpleasant simply just being conscious and having to experience life, permanent dreamless sleep really is ideal.

 

[spectraltease]

I think if I could everything I ever wanted, I would want to die still. I always thought a girl or a person would help, or much money with a great job but I wanted to die anyways. I just hate every aspect of life.

 

[takemetooblivion]

I thought this was like your current mental state. Like people are very emotional usually, but then grow numb to the thought of ending it. I feel numb right now. I actually was very emotional a few days ago but it will return. It always does. Shattered Dreams are my reason and why would I want to live in a world where I can't obtain the single thing, I want most. Sounds selfish but everything else seems like complete crap.

 

[Un-]

Interesting how a notable % want to live but for reasons, don't wish to live on. My reason is physical illness.

If you add them up, over 50% of people want to live. Somewhere in the future if people somehow understand suicidal people, and somehow change society itself to make it enjoyable to live, maybe all of these people in this forum won't be here. Which is a good thing.

But that means there won't be a need for euthanasia. And that means suicide will be restricted. And that could mean people like funeral cry, who don't want to live whatsoever, won't ever be understood. And then we're back to square one.. I think.

I could never ever want to live in this world no matter what happens. I view non existence as being preferable to any kind of life, I don't see any value or benefit to existing, it's just endless misery and suffering and to me it's all so pointless. Even if I could change so many things in this world I would still want to die, I don't understand why anyone would want to stay here until old age. I have a dislike for the concept of life, I find it unpleasant simply just being conscious and having to experience life, permanent dreamless sleep really is ideal.

Yeah, me too. I don't understand how anyone could see life as pleasurable. It's just something I won't ever understand. I just hope that this misunderstanding between me and them doesn't result in people with a savior complex thinking everyone can be saved. It just takes one misconception to make suicide more difficult than it already is.. Sigh.

I think if I could everything I ever wanted, I would want to die still. I always thought a girl or a person would help, or much money with a great job but I wanted to die anyways. I just hate every aspect of life.

I've said the same before too. I don't know what's so good about life that people want to stay. In my eyes, everything that exists has a negative counterpart that hurts so much. Everything.. Why would I ever think life is good if it can hurt me so badly? I don't know.

 

[Hope:-)]

I LOVE life. I think it's an awesome gift and there was a point where I was very happy so it is possible to be very happy in this world. Sadly circumstances changed and something affected my quality of life forever. Hence I'm here.x

 

[Al0neAlwayz]

I miss the people I've lost and I wanna die. All my dreams are dead and I can't breathe. It is impossible to live without hope. I find no familiarity in this world. There is immense longing inside me, my heart has become a black hole. My existence is a living hell. Sorry for venting...

I miss the people I've lost too. Losing them also meant losing my dreams and there is no hope of reconciliation. Combine that with chronic physical pain and mental health issues and I'm just a big ole pile of worthless sh*t. I wish you the best and just want to let you know you are not alone in your despair.

 

[Lost Magic]

I'm just tired of everything. My life is shite, and it will remain so until I decide to order my bus ticket.

 

[NoLightRemains]

Somewhere between the three "I want to live" options, but I chose the physical/mental health as that is the biggest factor that pushes me towards suicide. I used to really love life, but trauma and mental illness has warped my brain to the point I struggle to talk to and enjoy even my family and friends. My quality of life is diminished and I have little to no hope of it getting better.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I don't even know who I am anymore

 

[UpsideDownFace]

For me living is "not worth it": not worth the constant nightmares, PTSD, anxiety, fear, loneliness, and feelings of worthlessness.

 

[Al0neAlwayz]

I don't even know who I am anymore

I can relate to that. If I sit and think about what I would really want if I could have anything I wanted, I don't even know. Other than the impossible, to go back in time and correct my mistakes..... I don't know who I am, what I want, what I like anymore, nothing. I'm just numb. When I do feel anything, it's regret, depression, and despair.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I can relate to that. If I sit and think about what I would really want if I could have anything I wanted, I don't even know. Other than the impossible, to go back in time and correct my mistakes..... I don't know who I am, what I want, what I like anymore, nothing. I'm just numb. When I do feel anything, it's regret, depression, and despair.

Exactly. I get you unfortunately. I can't even make any simple decision.

 

[September5th]

It's a battle I'm tired of fighting. So I finally gave up. But everyone knows that I at least tried to get better.

 

[actual_fox]

Yeah! I'm surprised I'm not the only one with life being an uphill battle. Will be goood to hear from people in same position.

I have mood swings and I am also tired. If you could watch my posts through time they would vary from depressive to carefully optimistic and back.

Funny thing is that I am so tired of fighting that I was in 5th group and got so drained that I slip back into second group. I cannot say I am in the first group because at this point I don't have dreams related to this world (I would love to chill inside Desolation by Thomas Cole- let me dream). But you know I will probably keep trying again, but will fall into this depressive ditch at some point again- It just happens when I have time to reflect or stay with my own thoughts.

My life is like myth of Sisyphus. I am in different cycles repeating, inside bigger cycles. Either I let the boulder squish me or I continue to do what I did. Maybe I am just bad at trying, maybe I could do It smarter and actually "succeed". But It is not what I want at this point deeply.

Could Sisyphus get so buffed one day that he could kill gods? Imagine how strong he must be from pushing this rock all this time. Imagine hate burning his veins. Pushing this boulder does not make me stronger tho. So this is a cope.

 

[tiny_dancer]

This is so interesting, great poll. It's so unfortunate that most (myself included) would want to live if circumstances were different. My reason is my physical health which was ruined by agreeing to the wrong medical procedure. Life as I knew it , including my hopes and dreams, was gone just like that.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I have no energy left or Hope or inspiration- Feels like dragging around a sack of boulders … I'm ready to retire but I don't have enough money to survive…

 

[Hirokami]

Generalized Anxiety Disorder can never be cured. I have severe anxiety in a sense where I can never stop worrying about every stupid little fucking thing to the point I can't sleep nor eat properly. It even interferes with work at times. It doesn't help that I have trauma, too, which only adds on to constant loop of anxiety.

I'm broken and I don't know how to function as a person because of those things. I want to believe things can get better, but I suffered for over 10 years with barely any improvement. Therapy only helped me mask how insufferable I am, and even then I still fuck up. And medication only helps with preventing severe panic attacks. I'll never be fucking normal and I'm going to end up chasing away the few people in my life like I always fucking do. I want to live but not like this .......

 

[outrider567]

Because of her demise, my life is ruined

 

[dtjb]

Hmm, good question. I think I have layers of reasons why, some are fixable (life circumstances) and others aren't (diagnosed mental illness, genetics).

But, like others have expressed, beneath all of that is the feeling that life itself is just sort of wack to me. I have good days and bad days and I achieve things and I fail at things, but underneath it all, I don't feel like I get anything out of life that's commensurate with the amount of effort that I have to put into it. The suffering always outweighs the pleasure. The bad predominates.

And I don't feel like this is particular to me. It wouldn't be any better if I was someone else for instance. I might struggle less or achieve more or whatever, but again, a fundamental characteristic of life to me is that it's more bad than good and more trouble than it's worth.

My best days lately are when I can push that belief down to focus on something else. But I'm finding that as I get older, it comes to the surface more and it's harder to keep down. When I face the question of why I should continue to struggle to live, hardly anything comes to mind as a reason. And so here I am.

 

[BlazingBob]

My chronic health issues have destroyed my dreams!

Same here.

 

[Death is my goal]

don't want to live whatsoever, scars can't be healed.

 

[WhyBotherAnymore?]

It's a battle I'm tired of fighting. So I finally gave up. But everyone knows that I at least tried to get better.

I understand, to a degree. I'm tired of fighting too. I know that no matter what I do I can't change my situation - a no win scenario! Seen all the doctors - no one can help. Researched on my own - still nowhere. I don't even know if what I'm hearing is real or not. If you can't trust your own senses where does that leave you? Also fighting addiction and am sooooo tired. I go to bed at night praying that I don't wake up and die in my sleep. There are better patches, but I always end up back here. Nowhere else to go or try - Impossible situation!!!

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

Living is exhausting, and I've never had the motivation for it. I used to have hope for the future, but now, I don't care about it either way.

 

[Sad_Sack]

Interesting how a notable % want to live but for reasons, don't wish to live on. My reason is physical illness.

Same. Physical and horrible cognitive problems. Its torture what we go through.