I've had "doctors" threaten to fire me, too, for being too dark. A prerequisite to getting care is subscribing to THEIR value system--their ideas of good vs bad. BS. Since leaving my last specialist I've never looked back.
Waking up. Overthinking the possibilities of the new day, feeling so angry at my inability to stay asleep (I wake up multiple times a night, sometimes never sleeping at all), wanting to take my anger out on something but not being able to. I'm trapped, and I want out.
For me it's because I am obsessed with suicide. I read everything I can, including reddit posts in suicidewatch and depression, and that forces my mind to think about it and it's usually what makes me have a depressive mindset. I have thought about doing something else with my time but I don't really have too many things to do and I end up reading those posts again.
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