JustKillBen22
Member
- Jul 6, 2020
- 56
Every shitty part of my life is a direct consequence of me being a useless fucking asshole for my entire life and ruining everything, while watching myself do this, knowing I am doing this, and doing it fucking anyway. For as long as I can remember I have been lazy as shit, I never put effort into ANYTHING I didn't absolutely want to, I destroyed every friendship I had with my awful personality and attitude, I wouldn't want to talk to me, how could I expect anyone else to want to. I could be fine, I could've got through college, I could be at uni, or I could have a job, I could have people I trust, I could feel like people care about me or love me, I could be happy. I don't have some illness, I haven't had some traumatic event or shitty childhood or any of it. I am just a lazy sack of shit who over a decade destroyed his own life because it was easier than putting in even a tiny bit of effort. I do not have any right to be depressed, people go through so much worse, SO MUCH WORSE, and get through it fine. I'm too lazy to get a job, I just live with my mum and sleep and cry and do nothing else. Do I even deserve to die, I just long for some psycho to break in and fucking murder me randomly, why? Because its easier than actually trying. What the fuck is wrong with me...