What situation are you in that makes you want to ctb?

[John Smith]

Mine depends on the way a few things play out. How about u?

 

[Tiburcio]

Knowing there is no escape. My toutine is a torture and I don't want to pass throught it anylonger.

 

[creatureoflight]

Lots of physical pain and no doctor can help and being a failure careerwise

 

[ge0rge]

body dysmorphia and career issues

 

[BlackDragonof1989]

I feel misunderstood, hated, and realize my own shallowness and weakness, I have caused a lot of pain to people and yet somehow always manage to feel like I'm a victim, though sometimes it seems rather justified. I don't really trust anyone or myself, all I see is the way things can go wrong, or it seems like it more than I used to. So many "so close" times in my life but I just never can commit or be strong it seems. A love I wanted to work I messed up, and I can't seem to get over it or forgive myself, and don't understand peoples coldness and cruelty at times but I fail to see things from their perspective, they act the way they do because of the pain they have gone through, they hate my kind perhaps and rightly so. At the same time someone loves me who I adore but do not love, or at least, not in the same way, and I feel guilty to have made him fall for me, considering I still am very much stuck on the girl who once loved me. But when I had her, I could care less it seems. I'm just too far gone I think.

 

[shadow11]

I'm sick and prescriptions have ruined my brain

 

[Rocky M]

There are several factors, but the big 3 are emotional abuse, guilt and spite.

My family has wrecked my emotions and mental health beyond repair and they refuse to acknowledge my struggles. I don't really consider them family anymore.

My guilt comes from losing a friend. It was my fault. I drove her away because I was too stubborn to accept help. I'd rather not get into details, but I really miss her. I only wish the best for her.

Lastly, about spite, I said this in another thread a while back, but we didn't have a choice in coming into this world, so we should at least have a choice to leave it. I hate it when the topic of suicide is censored. I understand that it can be frightening to most people, but it's an issue that needs to be taken seriously, no matter how terrifying it may seem. I've had enough of the idea that we can magically save someone if we try hard enough. I'm pro-choice. Everyone should have the right to die if they wish. If we don't face our fears, we don't grow.

 

[Smilla]

Years of emotional pain, ceaseless wondering about why I am on this planet, and now causing pain to others.

My life is burning up all around me.

 

[GodKnows]

I still lack coping mechanism. I always choose to flee whenever I encounter an obstacle.

 

[Imaginos]

Same situation as every other living thing. My head's been caught in a vice since the day I was born and the name of that accursed vice, as if it should come as any real surprise, is existence.

 

[BlackDragonof1989]

Same situation as every other living thing. My head's been caught in a vice since the day I was born and the name of that accursed vice, as if it should come as any real surprise, is existence.

I always enjoy your photo and video contributions, thank you for this one, it made me smile a bit.

 

[wezel]

Having lost what made my life meaningful.
I cannot live a life that has changed from an OK state of affairs into such a hellhole of an existence.

 

[shadow11]

Having lost what made my life meaningful.
I cannot live a life that has changed from an OK state of affairs into such a hellhole of an existence.

Same here

 

[wezel]

Same here

Sorry to hear that, it sucks.
I have tried to reverse this shit, but with no result whatsoever.
I am now so exhausted, I just want out.

 

[shadow11]

Sorry to hear that, it sucks.
I have tried to reverse this shit, but with no result whatsoever.
I am now so exhausted, I just want out.

I'm exhausted too trying to get off these pills but it seems I'm worse daily just want it to be over

 

[wezel]

I'm exhausted too trying to get off these pills but it seems I'm worse daily just want it to be over

That sounds like a really tough one. Whatever pills you are referring to, once the body is addicted its hell to get away from.
My problem aren't pills, just falling down from a good life into a shitty one incl. losing what defined me.
I actually need pills...lol

 

[shadow11]

That sounds like a really tough one. Whatever pills you are referring to, once the body is addicted its hell to get away from.
My problem aren't pills, just falling down from a good life into a shitty one incl. losing what defined me.
I actually need pills...lol

Benzos and antipsychotics the withdrawal is horrible and I just cant go back to rehab to detox. They just made me sicker with my blood pressure and stomach issues

 

[wezel]

A layman's question ( I am an ignoramus when it comes to pills ) : is it possible to wean yourself off VERY slowly ? Reducing intake only a little amount at a time ?
I am asking as I did this with smoking, from 20 a day step per step down...until I had reached 0. And it worked. But of course your stuff is stronger than ciggies...

 

[shadow11]

A layman's question ( I am an ignoramus when it comes to pills ) : is it possible to wean yourself off VERY slowly ? Reducing intake only a little amount at a time ?
I am asking as I did this with smoking, from 20 a day step per step down...until I had reached 0. And it worked. But of course your stuff is stronger than ciggies...

I can and am weaning off the antipsychotic but weaning off a benzo alone can be dangerous because it can cause seizures and other problems you need medical detox from it. I cant go back to a detox program as they treat you so horribly. I needed medical care the last time I was there and could not get any

 

[wezel]

I can and am weaning off the antipsychotic but weaning off a benzo alone can be dangerous because it can cause seizures and other problems you need medical detox from it. I cant go back to a detox program as they treat you so horribly. I needed medical care the last time I was there and could not get any

That clearly sucks and is quite obviously a complex process. What about changing the detox provider ?
I am not trying to stop you from whatever you wanna do ( and I never had a serious addiction, so I shouldn't even open my gob here ), but to top yourself off because the detox people are morons and don't do their jobs properly doesn't seem right...

 

[wanttodie]

have no place or purpose in life i hate my life and living
all so I suffer from depression

 

[Morning Angel]

I rarely speak about my situation on here, but let's just say if I didn't have one core issue, I wouldn't be leaving. Sadly, life often makes choices for you.

 

[shadow11]

That clearly sucks and is quite obviously a complex process. What about changing the detox provider ?
I am not trying to stop you from whatever you wanna do ( and I never had a serious addiction, so I shouldn't even open my gob here ), but to top yourself off because the detox people are morons and don't do their jobs properly doesn't seem right...

I went to the best mental hospital we have in this area they let my blood pressure go to almost stroke level and wouldn't give me meds for it and also wouldn't give me meds for my stomach issues. I take benzos as a prescription and have never abused them. The drug addicts got treated better than me

 

[bbq1]

Not having a Gucci handbag !

https://www.nytimes.com/2004/10/18/...hands-in-death-as-the-web-becomes-a-tool.html

 

[lv-gras]

I went to the best mental hospital we have in this area they let my blood pressure go to almost stroke level and wouldn't give me meds for it and also wouldn't give me meds for my stomach issues. I take benzos as a prescription and have never abused them. The drug addicts got treated better than me

wow, "best" in what way?

 

[shadow11]

wow, "best" in what way?

New hospital supposedly had really good doctors swore they would take care of my bp problems, I have high bp anyway, had really high ratings

 

[lv-gras]

New hospital supposedly had really good doctors swore they would take care of my bp problems, I have high bp anyway, had really high ratings

: /

was it by chance a teaching hospital?

and sympathies

 

[shadow11]

: /

was it by chance a teaching hospital?

No it wasnt but it had only been there 2 years. I had been to another one earlier in year and it was even worse than that one

 

[randomguy]

Because I have this stupid feeling that I don't belong to the world around me nor the society. It seems to me pretty pointless that we have to take 80 years working as dogs, suffering and having some ephemeral fun now and then to die in the end. The truth is nowdays I don't get even the ephemeral fun I quoted. It's just an endless circle of pain, that makes me think the universe is actually a really bad joke in which I don't want to participate. Also I have stomach issues with crisis almost everyday and this is already killing me. Sorry for the big text, you can realize I don't have many friends to talk with.

 

[shadow11]

Because I have this stupid feeling that I don't belong to the world around me nor the society. It seems to me pretty pointless that we have to take 80 years working as dogs, suffering and having some ephemeral fun now and then to die in the end. The truth is nowdays I don't get even the ephemeral fun I quoted. It's just an endless circle of pain, that makes me think the universe is actually a really bad joke in which I don't want to participate. Also I have stomach issues with crisis almost everyday and this is already killing me. Sorry for the big text, you can realize I don't have many friends to talk with.

I have stomach issues also can barely eat or get out of the house