J

John D'oh

New Member
Jun 12, 2021
3
My life is reportedly just starting. 19 years old, just finished high school. Virgin, been lightly drinking since 15, never taken any drugs. Kids from my class seemed really excited about getting their drivers licences, but I just haven't had the energy to pursue getting mine yet.

So my bucket list so far is to get truly drunk, have sex, do drugs if I can find any, drive a car fast (if that turns out to be any fun).

I've also always fantasised about sitting down with a stranger in a city I don't know, and trying to connect with them. We spill our secrets, connect on a level that friends and family would never dare. I don't know much about people, so I don't know if it's achievable, but it sounds exciting. The flashes of intimacy I've had with some people over the years have been my only source of joy, even if they're brief.

I've been too depressed for a long time. I haven't grown up developing wishes for the future, I have no dream job or dream house or dream spouse or whatever. I don't know what to put on this bucket list besides the obvious.

So what have you done that you feel everyone should do before they die? What do you wish you did when you were young? What are you hoping to get done by the time you die?

EDIT: I've been sitting here trying to think of things that I want to do, and nothing is coming to mind. I wonder if my attempt at putting together a list isn't just my fear of missing out. I don't really want anything right now... but maybe I want to find something I want to do? Does that make sense? I found it very difficult to put my thoughts into words for this post. Now I'm wondering if I should just delete it
 
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Rocinante

Rocinante

My name is Lucifer, please take my hand
Aug 26, 2022
1,469
Register at looksmax.org
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
46,689
I've never really associated the concept of bucket lists with suicidal people. I thought that they were more for people who wanted to live, enjoyed life and wanted to make the most of the time that they have left. There's nothing much that I particularly want to do and my strong dislike for existence is part of the reason why I want to be gone so much in the first place. It's a personal thing deciding on what to do before death, it depends on the individual and what they feel like doing and are capable of doing.
 
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avoid_slow_death

avoid_slow_death

Ready to embrace the peaceful bliss of the void.
Feb 4, 2020
1,356
Spent a good chunk of time alone in the woods. I don't recommend doing it unless you are doing it voluntarily and you have an exit plan if something goes wrong or it's not to your liking. But if you can, I highly recommend it.
 
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J

John D'oh

New Member
Jun 12, 2021
3
I thought that they were more for people who wanted to live, enjoyed life and wanted to make the most of the time that they have left.
My motivations are incomprehensible even to me. I've been trying to figure myself out.

Maybe I do want to live. But I have so many health and mental issues that I don't want to live much longer while they get worse. I want to make the most of the time I have left before I get much worse.

Have you ever heard of the phenomenon where people will justify choices they didn't really make, or actions that they didn't do? If they believe they made a choice, they will find reasons to justify it. Maybe that's what I'm doing now, trying to figure out what the hell this mess of a post is for, or what my intentions are.

Anyways thank you for your comment.
 
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theboy

theboy

Illuminated
Jul 15, 2022
3,411
Of course it is
Take the time to make your wish list. If you don't want to do anything, that's fine too. The important thing is that you find peace.
 
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J

John D'oh

New Member
Jun 12, 2021
3
Of course it is
Take the time to make your wish list. If you don't want to do anything, that's fine too. The important thing is that you find peace.
Thank you
 
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