Discussion What method did you attempt and why it failed? How will you address your mistake next time you ctb?

[Dying Opportunity]

First attempt: drowning
failed because I was a dumb elementary schooler and tried to do it in a busy pool with lifeguards. Yes I'm serious.

Second attempt: fatal stab wounds
SI kicked in before I could even make a nick

My next available method is hanging. I will stay around longer than I'd want to go because I both need to ensure that I follow protocol properly, to ensure that no one can interfere, and to train myself to ignore my SI and guilt about leaving my family behind.

 

[CumbriaCTB]

Method: Alcohol Poisoning (lmao)

What Went Right:

• Good research - I found that, at my height and weight, I would need to consume at least ~600ml of pure ethanol (I chose 2L of 40% vodka, ~800ml of pure ethanol, for good measure).
• I chose to CTB inside my house (I live alone) so that I would not be interrupted by a member of the public.
• The equipment (the vodka bottles and a 250ml tumbler) was stored in an easily accessible location.

What Went Wrong:

• I overestimated my ability to consume the vodka quick enough (I have a strong gag reflex) and became so intoxicated after 750ml of vodka that I forgot that I was trying to CTB.
• I told somebody what I was doing, the Police were called, and I drunkenly unlocked the door and started laughing at the officers' shoes???
• I didn't prepare a grab-bag of useful kit for paramedics to bring - I ended up having to walk home from the hospital in my pyjamas with no phone and no cash.

Correcting My Mistakes:

• Switched to a method that isn't completely stupid (full suspension hanging).
• Deleted social media so that I don't tell anybody who knows me IRL that I'm about to CTB.
• I plan to remove the SIM card from my phone and hide them both in separate locations so I can't quickly dial 999 if I go into panic mode.