Assuming that you do believe that, of course. But, I still get the sense that a lot of pro- lifers equate ideation as an automatic indicator that a person is mentally incompetent.
After the IC SN welfair checks, I was put in touch with a 'helpline' and, after guilt tripping didn't work: 'Think what it would do to your loved ones.' (It's not like I was imminently about to do it anyway.) They touched on mental competency. It made me so angry but, I felt it wiser not to show that. Now, I kind of wished I'd challenged them on that. Asked whether they were questioning my competency. But then, it felt safer not to rattle the cage. It was actually kind of terrifying that someone who was possibly manipulative could also become vindictive and had the power to section me if they saw fit. Not that the UK has the resources really. I doubt I'd be so very different to the staff in those places.
For me, I suppose I'd argue, it's because I don't see it as my only option. It isn't the option I've taken for the 35 years I've had ideation. I've made reasoned decisions that the pain it would likely cause loved ones would indeed be immense. So, I've done my best to struggle on. I've also tried multiple things to improve my life. From self help books, some therapy and meds, lifestyle and diet changes, career changes, moving around locations. I've tried multiple things. I also have clear reasons as to why even my best future doesn't seem worth the effort. I've taken the time to research suicide methods and prepare. Whatever I do, it won't be impulsive.
I'll concede that I may have very long- term depression but, the meds I did try did nothing. I also don't have the confidence in psychiatric healthcare- especially when it comes to drugs, to allow them to experiment on me. I don't believe they sufficiently know about the brain or, what they're doing with it. So- I think it's my reasonable right to refuse such treatment 'opportunities'. Not to knock what other people choose to do of course.
How about you though? Do you have full confidence in your mental competency? Especially with regards to your thoughts around suicide?
After the IC SN welfair checks, I was put in touch with a 'helpline' and, after guilt tripping didn't work: 'Think what it would do to your loved ones.' (It's not like I was imminently about to do it anyway.) They touched on mental competency. It made me so angry but, I felt it wiser not to show that. Now, I kind of wished I'd challenged them on that. Asked whether they were questioning my competency. But then, it felt safer not to rattle the cage. It was actually kind of terrifying that someone who was possibly manipulative could also become vindictive and had the power to section me if they saw fit. Not that the UK has the resources really. I doubt I'd be so very different to the staff in those places.
For me, I suppose I'd argue, it's because I don't see it as my only option. It isn't the option I've taken for the 35 years I've had ideation. I've made reasoned decisions that the pain it would likely cause loved ones would indeed be immense. So, I've done my best to struggle on. I've also tried multiple things to improve my life. From self help books, some therapy and meds, lifestyle and diet changes, career changes, moving around locations. I've tried multiple things. I also have clear reasons as to why even my best future doesn't seem worth the effort. I've taken the time to research suicide methods and prepare. Whatever I do, it won't be impulsive.
I'll concede that I may have very long- term depression but, the meds I did try did nothing. I also don't have the confidence in psychiatric healthcare- especially when it comes to drugs, to allow them to experiment on me. I don't believe they sufficiently know about the brain or, what they're doing with it. So- I think it's my reasonable right to refuse such treatment 'opportunities'. Not to knock what other people choose to do of course.
How about you though? Do you have full confidence in your mental competency? Especially with regards to your thoughts around suicide?
